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What does sex repulsion feel like for you?

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Gloomy   
Gloomy

Depends. Seeing naked people or seeing porn just makes me cringe. If someone actually wanted to or tried to have sex with me then I'd probably get the more extreme symptoms like hyperventilating and crying.

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Nowhere Girl   
Nowhere Girl

I've just recalled an interesting piece of writer's letter which, in my opinion, may show a bit about sex repulsion. It's not about general sex repulsion, it's about being in a situation inconsistent with one's orientation, but it striked me as very honest.

A bit of an introduction: Jerzy Andrzejewski was a Polish writer who may be known to some English-speaking readers: if any of you happened to have read Czesław Miłosz's "The Captive Mind" (an essay about how totalitarian ideologies enslave minds), Andrzejewski is the "case" described as "Alpha or the Moralist" (Miłosz gave examples of four writers he had personally known and their different reasons for accepting communist ideology). Andrzejewski was considered a Catholic writer before the war, though he rather just wanted to create morally strong figures. After the war he accepted communist ideology, but later rejected it and became one of the first dissidents. He was also gay, even though he was married to a woman, and some of his later works have homoerotic motifs (I recommend "The Gates of Paradise", available in English - about the "children's crusade" and an experimental novel on top of that, written in one huge "sentence" which keeps branching and branching and containing utterances of various characters, and one sentence which has just a few words and concludes the novel.) At one point he was in love with the younger writer Marek Hłasko and here's a poignant fragment from Hłasko's letter to him - because Hłasko loved him too, but he was straight and realized that he just can't go beyond platonic love with a man.

"I have to be honest with you, even though you can trust me that it doesn't come easy to me, because I realize that, whether I want it or not, something can, or even must change this way; yet, Jerzy, I don't think that I will be able to be everything for you that you would have wanted me to be and what - perhaps even more - I would have wanted. I'm not reponsible for this, because in the end I don't decide what kind of person I was born. Jerzy! I love you very much, now I know it perhaps even better than before, now that I'm far away from you, when I'm alone here. But it's not the issue. You're a person for whom I could change my confession, religion, or whatever, but Jerzy - there are issues beyond my decision. It's hard for me to write about it."

This fragment is emotionally strong, but it also strikes me as very modern, even though this letter was written, I think, in the late 50s. It very much reminds me of the "born this way" rhetoric - Hłasko almost wishes he could change his sexual orientation for someone he loves in a platonic way, but realises that he was born heterosexual. Even though he doesn't use this term, he is in fact writing about sexual orientation - and at that point the term was, I think, known, but still not widely used.

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Saesha   
Saesha

7 years ago when I joined here I was repulsed though I admit my repulsion was more "mental".

By mental I mean it wasn't the sex act itself but people's attitudes. My brain would automatically distance myself from a person who was pretty sexual due to me feeling like "they only like and talk to me cause they see me as an object of pleasure not a human." type. I'd feel disgusted and angry.

 

Though I think it had to do with me never getting validation from my first bf that he liked me beyond my female assets.

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Janus DarkFox   
Janus DarkFox

Mostly through disinterest, just feels rather repulsive on most aspects despite having it with such availability, and any attempts to make me more interested makes such a lot worse, especially times without libido.  Most of the time I'm just not in the mood.

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Blackmare   
Blackmare

Wow, I'm nowhere near that severe. Mine is more like this: 

 

In a movie/TV Show/Advert/Other Media: "Okay ew ew ew ew ew" *Studies food intensely, looks at phone, feels stomach turning*

Imagining myself anywhere near the act of sex: Nope. nonono. We don't do that. Stomach gets queasy, headache starts, I feel a gagging motion coming on

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