cotangent

What does sex repulsion feel like for you?

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cotangent   
cotangent

I've been re-reading some of my old journal from the time when I first experienced sex repulsion and I was wondering if the feelings I get when I'm repulsed are similar to other people's.

 

So, here's how it feels for me (approximately, it's a difficult thing to express):

  • My stomach sinks and gets churney
  • My brain attempts to distance me from anything related to the object of my repulsion
  • Sometimes I feel nauseous
  • Sometimes I start crying

During the worst bout of repulsion I've ever had (brought along by the fact that I couldn't get away from what was repulsing me):

  • My body was shaking
  • I was hyperventilating
  • I was trying to get everything I could that would give me comfort
  • My mind was racing, trying to make it better, which made it worse

 

What does it feel like for you?

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ABryonJ.maybe?   
ABryonJ.maybe?

I'm more like "Oh that...ummm I left the nuclear reactor in my room set to meltdown and we wouldn't want that would we? Gotta go."

I hate it, the sense of expectation and the results of not wanting it. I do anything short of physical violence to remove myself from the situation. Then I usually don't even go back to or talk the person involved out of embarrassment. 

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Yato   
Yato

Similar to what it feels like to be repulsed from gross things, like excrement, germophobia, disease. The thought of getting into something like that, just makes me disassociate and shut down.

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Zenzencat104   
Zenzencat104

That's what it feels like.

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Jayce   
Jayce

I remember shutting down completely to make place for anxiety levels rising skyhigh

Just watching it happen (movie, pictures, commercials, gifs) grosses me out aswell as me not being able to get rid of the nasty feeling you get from that..

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Quasar.w   
Quasar.w
36 minutes ago, cotangent said:

I've been re-reading some of my old journal from the time when I first experienced sex repulsion and I was wondering if the feelings I get when I'm repulsed are similar to other people's.

 

So, here's how it feels for me (approximately, it's a difficult thing to express):

  • My stomach sinks and gets churney
  • My brain attempts to distance me from anything related to the object of my repulsion
  • Sometimes I feel nauseous
  • Sometimes I start crying

During the worst bout of repulsion I've ever had (brought along by the fact that I couldn't get away from what was repulsing me):

  • My body was shaking
  • I was hyperventilating
  • I was trying to get everything I could that would give me comfort
  • My mind was racing, trying to make it better, which made it worse

 

What does it feel like for you?

Pretty much the same. I usually manage to stay away from my triggers but recently triggered myself with a video/film and strangely I wasn't that repulsed at the time (it was in the evening) but then I woke up at around 2 a.m. and felt really sick, dizzy, cried, just the whole program... Idk why it took some hours to really start, maybe my normal defenses where down due to sleeping!?

 

Usually its not that strong since I don't expose myself to triggers when they do appear longer than a second. Then its ok again if I take a deep breath and try to focus on sth I really like for a bit, my only tactic is to suppress it which is maybe not the best way though

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Member119102   
Member119102

I've never had a romantic/sexual physical contact with the opposite sex (I'm straight). I'm strongly repulsed and disgusted by anything sexual, especially BDSM. There was time when my best friend would talk about his attraction toward me, and I felt like going off the wall. The amount and the intensity of the disgust in me when he did that was immeasurable. When he said "I want to have sex with you", my hands started to tremble and I got insanely angry. (Plus I'm generally very short-tempered). The worst type of feeling that I've ever experienced was when he said the same thing..but in a more blunt and vulgar way..as in..( I feel terrible to repeat this :cccccc).."I want to fuck you". I felt like going crazy.To me it sounded impossibly disgusting and similar to what someone would say to a hooker. Even though he claimed to be head over hills for me. I wanted to punch the wall until the world ended, and could not even look my dad in the eyes. Even though I knew I had never even held hands with a guy. I never wish to experience anything like that ever again. I told him candidly: If this is over exaggeration for you, thank Lord thrice a day for he gave you enough amount of brain to figure not to lay your finger on me. Yes, I am frigid and prudish. Go find an equally horny girl and unleash your idiotic fantasies.Just don't dare breathing near me. Now we're not friends. And I could not care less if his friends keep calling me a puritan. To hell all sex-obsessed idiots.

 

 

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prof mags   
prof mags

luckily ive never actually been confronted with the prospect of having sex but whenever i have any thoughts  of the possibility of someone wanting to do it with me my mind instantly turns off to stop any of my repulsion form hitting critical levels (one of the times im thankful for my inability to handle strong emotions) in fact the only time ive had a real taste of my repulsion's full extent was when i had a literal nightmare about being in a relationship where my partner wanted sex and i had to do it

 

its lucky ive gotten pretty good at forcing myself awake when my dreams go into nightmare territory cos just being faced with the prospect of doing anything sexual had me in a cold sweat and i didnt get a wink for the rest of the night

 

its actually a ways on me a bit as i feel if i ever want to enter a relationship its not going to go well if i cant bring myself to do any compromises at all on the subject well unless i get lucky and meet another ace who doesn't want to ever do it either a guy can dream i guess

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fuzzipueo   
fuzzipueo

While I've worked to overcome my repulsion, there are times when it rears up and I have some of the similar reactions the OP has in their list, esp. the first part. And I can feel my stomach sinking when scenes come on in movies or TV shows that show too much. I either stop watching at that point or leave the room, cover my eyes (I really, really hate noisy kissing too). Books can be bad too for that matter, though at least I can skim over that stuff.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet   
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

Sex repulsion for me feels like :

  • I start hyperventilating
  • I my body starts to shake
  • My heart races
  • I feel nausea.

It usually happens if I see something really graphic on TV, though it hasn't happen in a while, thankfully. When I'm reading something pertaining to sex, it doesn't bother me, neither do jokes (for the most part.)

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arekathevampyre   
arekathevampyre

I will first cringe then feel yucky on the inside (like ewwwww) and sometimes I start to make stupid jokes and puns about that hahaha

 

I tend to look away too for that moments on tv/movie theater screen . Usually I will look at my phone when that happens on tv unless when I am in the movie theater then I will just look on the ground , occasionally awkwardly looking up to see if it is over .

 

as for reading , I will just skip that entire section (paragraphs) unless the characters are killing each other all of a sudden (haha violence) . 

 

that's it :)

 

 

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Doctor13   
Doctor13

It feels like a rotten smell that forces my face to convulse into weird expressions because EWWW

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Essolotiya   
Essolotiya

I've never been in a sexual situation, so my only reactions have been to sex in media or my own thoughts. I usually skip/look away from sex scenes on tv or in books because it just makes me uncomfortable and I feel grossed out for a while after. When I think about having sex or someone wanting to have sex with me, I typically feel disgusted and sometimes even angry (which I've learned is a reaction to anxiety). Sometimes I'll even start shaking, and I often feel a little down for a while afterward. 

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Pramana   
Pramana

I don't have strong physical or mental reactions like the OP or some others describe. In my case, it's more that I'm hyper-aware that sexuality is gross and awkward and I don't want to have anything to do with it.

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dragon_nerd   
dragon_nerd

For me it slowly progresses the more I am exposed to whatever sexualised piece of media I an bwing exposed to. It starts as ick noooo, then progress to a kinda disphoria like feeling and eventualy it can trigger the gag reflex. 

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alpha decay   
alpha decay
3 hours ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

Sex repulsion for me feels like :

  • I start hyperventilating
  • I my body starts to shake
  • My heart races
  • I feel nausea.

It usually happens if I see something really graphic on TV, though it hasn't happen in a while, thankfully. When I'm reading something pertaining to sex, it doesn't bother me, neither do jokes (for the most part.)

kind of the same.

 

words and jokes don't bother me at all, but anything overly graphic literally induces anxiety in me.

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet   
Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet
2 hours ago, alpha decay said:

kind of the same.

 

words and jokes don't bother me at all, but anything overly graphic literally induces anxiety in me.

Agreed.

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Laplace   
Laplace

I'm not terribly repulsed by sex per se but I kinda squirm a bit when random people hug me and stuff. I'd kinda stand there awkwardly and sort of gingerly hug back like I'm trying to figure out the best way to carry a large cardboard box 📦 when girls hugged me out of the blue whether it was just a friendly gesture or blatantly teasing 😖.

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Lonemathsytoothbrushthief   
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief

TW Me talking about my past sexual relationships, dysphoria, intrusive thoughts and stuff.

 

Spoiler

I've had too weird a time with sex. Elsewhere I mentioned a weird/borderline very mildly abusive(? Very very mildly) situation from when I was a kid, that may  or may not have affected me being grossed out by the whole sex thing, but then when I got older I think I was overcompensating for all the ways in which I was strange and different growing up and tried to go into a load of sexual relationships. For whatever the reason was, I was also kind of hyper in some of my relationships even though I never actually HAD sex, just did a bunch of things which were almost it. But now I get intrusive thoughts around it and also kind of concluded that part of my discomfort was physical dysphoria, so I'm not going near a sexual relationship again. Tbh talking about this stuff is generally triggering for me, it's just that, as with many of the things that make me anxious, I'm just zoning out rather than actually quite that bothered about it. I have to be honest, the idea of being desensitized after top surgery is just a little tempting to me. ...Yeah I really wish I'd never tried to have sex. Dysphoria for me isn't a big deal, probably because I'm actually able to hide everything I might feel uncomfortable with, but sometimes I get physical dysphoria which triggers intrusive thoughts and that's a real pain in the ass. I did also legitimately think recognising my dysphoria would help completely get rid of the intrusive thoughts, and tbh it helps a lot, though not completely, and they're pretty rare anyway. Though pretty much anything to do with genitalia would start them up so I guess it's the sex free life for me!

 

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Nowhere Girl   
Nowhere Girl

I'm not repulsed by sexual content as such, but I'm strongly averse to the idea of personally having sex (from this point of view, I'm typically autochorissexual or anegosexual). If I try to think about it, it's as if something inside me is screaming "NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!". In such moments I feel that I just couldn't. Even if there is some level of curiosity, I could probably never overcome my aversion, fear of sex and discomfort with nudity.

I wouldn't say that I have a very vivid, "uncontrolled" imagination - I'm an extreme verbal thinker, I say whole sentences to myself in my thoughts - but my feelings about personally having sex are much more sensation-oriented and visual than usually. I can almost see myself break down and cry and hear myself say through tears "Sorry, I just can't do it" if I try to imagine it.

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knittinghistorian   
knittinghistorian

Here's the best way I can describe it for me. 

 

1. I do find people (movie stars, tv characters, real people, whatever) attractive or sexy. But it doesn't feel enticing. It feels awkward and uncomfortable, like when someone does something really embarrassing and you feel terribly embarrassed yourself for witnessing it.  I know this person or that person is hot, but I would much rather they weren't. When I read a book with a hot character on the cover, I have to lay it facedown so I don't have to look. When I was a kid I never understood my friends, who had posters of the latest heartthrobs up all over their bedrooms. How could they live in that room with all those eyes on them?

 

2. Sex scenes on tv or in movies make me look away, the same as it might make me look away in a war movie if someone got his head blown up or something similarly cringe-inducing. It's just "yuck, really did not want to see that."

 

3. Sex scenes in books usually make me laugh, because they try to be so very overdramatic and/or awkwardly poetic, or else they go on and on and elicit the "gross, look away" response.

 

4. On the very rare occasions I have a sex dream, it's a bad dream, in which I know I will have to have sex against my will, and I wake up before it actually happens.

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Tirisilex   
Tirisilex

I tend to get repulsed when people make a display of it in some way. Like someone cracking a perverted joke or someone is talking about sex with me and expects me to share his desires.. It disgusts me but I don't get physically sick by it. It's more of a mental repulsiveness. Where I am just like MEH.

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catwhite   
catwhite

my repulsion is more just discomfort. every time it becomes a topic I try to extract myself from the conversation ASAP or make start making uncomfortable jokes and puns. if it comes on tv or something it makes me extremely uncomfortable so I make an effort to plan my toilet breaks or something around those types of scenes

sex scenes in books are the worst in my opinion because I still have to kind of skim through it to see when it ends it's a little yucky for me.

If my friends speak about sex I sometimes feel like the 3rd grader going "ewwww" and being generally immature about it

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shinigami1875   
shinigami1875

I always feel like running away from the situation, the people, or imagery that bothers me. If I cannot physically remove myself then I usually get anxiety attacks. I start to feel fear, loneliness, nervousness, and sometimes despair. It's really a terrible experience and I hate it more anything

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Debaser   
Debaser

715526fb-7e0c-416f-8eea-d0c20b4acb9e.gif

 

I'll feel a bit nauseous and inadvertently pull ^ that face a lot.

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Karacoreable   
Karacoreable

Anxious doesn't really cover it. I get really tense and unhappy, and remove myself from the situation, no idea what would happen if I didn't. I will work very hard to make my life free of all such unpleasantness! :D

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Anonymous Pillow   
Anonymous Pillow

for me, it makes me extremely uncomfortable and just the very thought makes me cringe and shake my head in disgust, the more I try to picture it the worse it gets and anything on TV or anywhere else just makes me uncomfortable even more. Like, no, I don't care about this. This is gross and I don't want to look at it, can we please go back to saving the world now? (Or whatever else is going on in the show.)

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Silentwolf_   
Silentwolf_
On 6.8.2017 at 8:27 PM, cotangent said:

 

  • My stomach sinks and gets churney
  • My brain attempts to distance me from anything related to the object of my repulsion
  • Sometimes I feel nauseous

something like that, with a ball in my throath and the urge to puke, by everything thats related to sex; see, read or hear. 

I have a big question: has anyone learned to get over it? or an idea how I can learn that it isn't so bad, at least? 

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cotangent   
cotangent
3 hours ago, Silentwolf_ said:

I have a big question: has anyone learned to get over it? or an idea how I can learn that it isn't so bad, at least? 

For me, I'm working on getting better on noticing what sets it off.  I think that's going to be really helpful, because then I can avoid those things.

 

And when it comes up in situations where I have no control and can't get away, I think the best weapon is distracting my brain.  Like if it's on TV, I can start reading a book or look at something on my phone or something.  It still affects me, especially the initial "oomph" but having something else to focus on helps for sure.

 

Definitely a work in progress though.  Personally, I'm just trying to push away my initial reactions to the whole thing because that's the part that tends to annoy and frustrate people around me.

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Sean-Kat   
Sean-Kat

I go back and forth between sex positive and sex repulsed. The idea of someone (not my SO) wanting or imagining having sex with me grosses me out and will cause me to emotionally shut down for days. I find it disgusting and hate it, and consider it rude. I've had a couple of instances where I knew someone only hung out with me because they wanted to hook up, and it freaked me out. I couldn't function right.

 

For me, when I do feel repulsed, it feels like I'm tearing myself apart from the inside. There's self loathing, hatred, confusion, depression, hot showers, scratching at myself... it basically feels like I'm imploding from the inside.

 

That being said, I like reading about fictional sexual relationships, but when it crosses into the real world I tend to short circuit.

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