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Fishboy

Aromantic and asexual?

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Fishboy   
Fishboy

So I've been wondering for quite a while: If someone is Aromantic, are they usually Asexual as well?

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Doctor13   
Doctor13

Not necessarily - I think I've heard of someone being aromantic but not asexual. They're very compatible, but not necessarily correlated. 

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Man of the Stoa   
Man of the Stoa

My assumption is that they aren't inherently correlated, but the sort of people who identify as one are much more likely to identify as the other. It's fairly difficult to notice when you don't feel something, because you're not going to know you're missing anything. So if someone is aromantic but sexual, they might just conflate their sexual desires with the romantic desires everyone else seems to be feeling, follow the proscribed norms of romance (pick up flowers every know and then, etc.), settle down with someone in marriage without ever realizing they're missing anything. Likewise, it's not uncommon for asexuals who are romantic to not realize their identity by doing the opposite (conflating their romantic desires with sexual desire) and fitting into the mold reasonably well.

 

Aromantic asexuals, on the other hand, aren't going to be motivated to date by romantic or sexual desires, which just leaves external pressures like wanting to fit in. And when the only thing that motivates you to do something everyone is internally motivated to do is an external pressure, that's when you notice you're different, which in turn will lead to you seeking out these terms and then identifying with them.

 

This is all just a guess, though, and perhaps they do correlate. It's very possible that romance and sex drive develop together, and when the development of one is interrupted then the other is also much more likely to not develop.

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Imogengrey   
Imogengrey
7 minutes ago, Man of the Stoa said:

Aromantic asexuals, on the other hand, aren't going to be motivated to date by romantic or sexual desires, which just leaves external pressures like wanting to fit in. And when the only thing that motivates you to do something everyone is internally motivated to do is an external pressure, that's when you notice you're different, which in turn will lead to you seeking out these terms and then identifying with them.

 

 

very true, I'm not sure what I would be doing  if I hadn't looked into the ace world. I only heard about aromanticism in a youtube video by chance, and I realized that the label was something that I strongly identified with. If I hadn't heard it or looked into it and found AVEN, I probably would just force myself to date and stuff because that's what's "normal". 

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anzu2snow   
anzu2snow

For some reason, I think it's the opposite. That most aromantics are likely to be sexual. Like, most asexuals seem to be romantic. Aro aces seem to be such a minority. I'm aro ace myself. Sometimes, we feel either ignored by other aces or that there's some prejudice within that community itself. Being on an aro forum, which is similar to this one, I've noticed many are sexual. I've read about how the aro community wants to be separated so badly from the ace one, and not be associated so much by it. That makes me feel a bit odd being both. Like, I'm being torn apart in a way. I understand it, though. I'm not exactly sure how aro sexuals would find out...Since aros are even lesser known than aces. 

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