I am not sure of my sexuality, I would be okay with a man or a woman I think but I am just not interested in a sexual relationship.

[MaryD.Black]

Hi! This is my fist time in a forum like this one, I am 17, I have never been in a relationship and I am very confused about my sexuality. (English is not my first language)

At first I thought I may be bisexual, because to me it was never about sex but about feelings, I am kind of a romantic so I do want a relationship of some kind, I just do not get why I have to have sex, I am actually fine with both genders and I have thought that a girl is hot or a guy  I just have never imagined more than kissing in a relationship.

 

When I was 15 I thought about having a boyfriend, but I just joked about it with my mom and she said something about taking pills and using condons, which kinda scared me not because of the sex but because she looked at me weirdly when I said "Ew, I don't want to do that" 

i do not think sex is dirty, I do think I want to try it some day with someone I really like and trust. I have always thought of sex more as an act of trust more than gratification for myself. I wouldn't mind touching the person that I love but I don't want to actually have sex. 

I have identified myself with a lot of the experiences that asexuals have, like not getting sexual innuendos, I HAD to study freaking sexual innuendos to actually get them! My cousin had to explain to me a song that was full of them, it let me feeling stupid because I couldn't get something so obvious.

I have watched porn but I don't really like it, I prefer reading about sex (I love fanfiction Specially SLASH, I like yaoi too!).

I think I get aroused some times and I have 'touched myself' but it's just light petting, and I have never really wanted to go further I once read that touching your breasts feels good, I tried it and I hated it, it's just uncomfortable and I hate the idea of someone else not a doctor touching them. Like I said before I am not repulsed by sex I just don't get it , to me it's about reproduction not pleasure.

 

i do think I am asexual, but I wouldn't mind having a relationship with either gender but not now I actually would prefer to have a friend right now (I am an introvert and antisocial so I do not have any close friends and I hate social networks, messaging or phone calling, I prefer to talk face to face, which is difficult because I do not go out much).

 

I do have sexual fantasies some times but it's not me participating but they are characters of a fandom I like or an anime, that's the only way for me to actually have some kind of sexual feelings, I don't necessarily like it though, it's more of a chore now than it was 2 years ago. 

 

I am mostly venting here, but any advice you have is appreciated. The think that gets me the most is being kinda attracted to boys and girls, I find both genders attractive but I don't want to have sex, I do think I would like kissing though, is it normal?

I do know that asexuals can feel attraction I just don't get what sexual attraction or arousal mean exactly, because my experience is very limited.

 

i really want to tell my mom too, but when I told her directly that I was unsure of my sexuality she didn't see very happy about it but she told me that while she wouldn't like it she would accept it. But will she understand? I am really scared of her reaction and I really want someone to talk too. I am really sorry if this is too long but I need answers and this is the only way I think I can get them. My school is catholic so even if I talked to my school's psychologist she would just balk at only the idea of me ever considering liking a girl, and I know she would tell my parents, so they can help with my 'depravation' It happened ones and the student had to change schools.

[Yep, me]

It's called romantic attraction, and you might be biromantic(attracted to two genders) or panromantic(attracted to all genders). Also, when telling people, if they're reaction isn't good even when you've tried explaining it, just walk away and don't listen to they're silly arguments. When(if you feel like doing so) you tell you're parents, make sure you are in a comfortable position to do so. Also have some counter arguments to you're parents in case they don't react well, and afterwards, give it some time for them to understand, when someone has believed something is rigid for they're whole life, it takes a while to process.

[AVEN #1 fan]

@Zenzencat104

 

IIs right,  you may be biromantic/pluralian , but for your sexuality,  it's sounds like you're an autochorissexual-limnosexual, maybe you're Ace too.

 

Sexual attraction is the desire to do sexual acts triggered by certain people or other things.