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Keakin

Things Asexuals hate to hear

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Jade Cross
On 8/23/2017 at 9:41 AM, Jaimes said:

Your family seems to me to be very ignorant and very wrong in what they did to you, because who puts this kind of pressure on a 12-year-old? After I say that society is totally turned to sexuality and that people are crazy about it, some people do not believe it, but here is an example. I went through something similar, not that it was as bad as, but I know what it feels like to feel at least some of this pressure.

Its not really that uncommon actually. Although alot of people might not accept it, alot of parents try to, in some way, shape or form put sex to be a sort of goal for kids. I know back when I was starting highschool, my parents would make all these comments about how I would have all the girls totally throwing themselves at me. 

 

I can only hope that the main focus of such comments was some sort of misguided positive enforcement, although my parents had a hard time swallowing the idea (which I voice many times over and to this day they hope and pray I will turn around and fome home with a girl) that I did not want to be with anyone. Which in their minds also translated as "I dont want sex" since they are religious and believe at least in the "you cant be having sex with random strangers, only someone you love."

 

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Somebodysomeone
On 5-8-2017 at 5:24 PM, Keakin said:

Uuuuugh

The times I've heard that one. 

*rolls 👀 

Yea I know. Just before I knew I was ace I made a joke that If I would get a euro for every time people say that I would buy myself a scooter. Hearing this and the late bloomer thing over and over 

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JMichael
On August 4, 2017 at 11:38 PM, Polygon said:

"I feel like if I were asexual I'd be a LOT more productive."

 

No, you'd still be lazy. I guarantee it. 

This!! Thanks polygon for a great laugh. I'm always telling counseling clients, "everyone is lazy, humans repeat beahvior, good bad or otherwise simply because it works. "

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The Drafting Ninja

Spoiler because I'm late to the party and everyone has already moved on from this point.

Spoiler

I maybe a weird one, but I wouldn't mind people telling me "You're going to die alone" or "You're going to be forever alone."   Kind of makes me feel like a badass doing something that most people fear.

 

Though the ones I hate is when people assume that I'll get married and want a dozen kids.  I have my cats thanks.

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miettaisace

Q"how do you know you dont like sex if you havent done it?"

A"how do you know you dont like fucking turtles if you havent fucked a turtle?"

 

Q"you cant be asexual youve had sex?"

A"you cant not like eating apples cause i saw you eating an apple..." literally we do things we dont want to do all the time...clean our house, take out the trash, get injection...not everything is done for pleasure.

 

Q"have you had an orgasm?"

A"one is that your business and two even if i have doesnt mean im not asexual just means my clit works!!!"

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Somebodysomeone

When I told a co worker. He said I was legend xd dude I stand next to you im real 

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Charlie Weasley

"did you just invent this?"

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Hermit Advocate

SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE!!!!

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Somebodysomeone
1 minute ago, Hey you in the corner said:

SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE!!!!

Hows that bad ? Sound pretty cool  ( im dutch so not familiar with some english terms  )

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Hermit Advocate

@Somebodysomeone special snowflake is a term used to insult people. If someone calls you a special snowflake it means that they're saying that you're making something up (asexuality) because you want to appear different or interesting. It's yet another way people try to invalidate asexuality.

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Hermit Advocate

@Somebodysomeone No problem, I hope it made sense.

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viennaguy94

"I think I am just not the right one for you"

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kittyblomu
On 8/14/2017 at 9:06 AM, AceAlexa said:

What I usually get:

"Asexual?  Your poor husband!"

"You're being unfair to your husband."

"You need to let him have some sex."

"It's just your meds.  Maybe you should try to stop taking them."

"He (my husband) just doesn't know what he's doing.  You're both young.  He'll learn how to make you feel good.  Just keep trying."

"I get your asexual now but you probably won't be like this forever, you know, when you get a little older and less confused."

"Are you sure he's okay with this?  I just don't understand how he could still love you if you always withheld sex.  He's probably just saying that to make you feel better."

i don't understand why people think it's okay to say stuff like this. they're being so invalidating and i hate it <_<

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kittyblomu
On 8/5/2017 at 2:44 PM, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

I would just say whatever ends the conversation. For example, usually I think agreeing with people is the way to go if that means that it will end conflict. I would just say that you're not interested in marriage and kids right now rather than that you will never be interested in either. You could say you're focusing on other things, like your career. As for making sex jokes, you could learn some really cringy ones and then when they ask you could tell them and they might just ask you to never tell one again.

oh my god you're an innovator

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kittyblomu
On 8/11/2017 at 7:11 PM, Keakin said:

OMG! I was watching a movie with a guy that used to be a friend. This woman in the movie made a sex joke and I laughed. He looked at me and said, "You like it, you just keep it a secret cause it's embarrassing." He was so sure that his tone suggested he knew me more than I know myself. I wanted to break the lap top in his face. This guy also constantly tried to change me and pressured me because he couldn't accept I was a different design. I am no longer his friend.

wow, that's royally messed up. like there's messed up, and then there's messed up, and that ex-friend of yours is messed up.

 

i wish you broke that laptop in his face.

 

just the part where you said "He was so sure that his tone suggested he knew me more than I know myself" made me so angry that i wanted to break my own laptop.

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margot-rain

I was talking to a work colleague and somehow the conversation steered in a certain direction, so I said that sex and relationships didn't interest me (didn't mention the actual word) and she said "so you're asexual then?" And I was briefly stunned and impressed but then she went on to say "like when a strawberry grows a little baby off its arm or something? " *sigh* 

 

Most other people who I have vaguely hinted to about it (never said the actual word to anyone yet) has said varying levels of "its a phase", "you'll like it when you try it" or "you just haven't found the right person yet." 

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Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit
On 8/4/2017 at 8:38 PM, Polygon said:

"I feel like if I were asexual I'd be a LOT more productive."

 

No, you'd still be lazy. I guarantee it. 

YESSSSSSS

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Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit
3 hours ago, margot-rain said:

I was talking to a work colleague and somehow the conversation steered in a certain direction, so I said that sex and relationships didn't interest me (didn't mention the actual word) and she said "so you're asexual then?" And I was briefly stunned and impressed but then she went on to say "like when a strawberry grows a little baby off its arm or something? " *sigh* 

 

Most other people who I have vaguely hinted to about it (never said the actual word to anyone yet) has said varying levels of "its a phase", "you'll like it when you try it" or "you just haven't found the right person yet." 

Wait wait wait... is that an actual reaction that people have? People think that we reproduce like that? How does that make sense to anyone what the fuccck SERIOUSLY!?

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Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit
On 8/4/2017 at 10:53 PM, Zectarash said:

Me: "I'm ace."

 

About 1/5 of people I say this to: "So you're like bacteria/an amoeba/ a plant?" Usually bacteria. No idea why.

I'm seeing this alot, do people actually say this? What is wrong with them?

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BinaryFission

"That doesn't exist"

"So you mean you reproduce by yourself"

"Your just hiding inside your shell"

"You're just straight"

 

<_<

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Zectarash
On 9/3/2017 at 0:05 PM, Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit said:

I'm seeing this alot, do people actually say this? What is wrong with them?

They all probably got a C- in Biology and are trying to make it seem like they did better than that. Or something.

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Imsoconfusedughgoshdarnit

Got into a friendly argument with a friend about the validity of asexuality. They were arguing that sexuality is a spectrum that bounces from liking guys to liking girls or to being somewhere in between, leaving no room for an absence of sexual attraction. We were a little bit drunk at the time of having this debate, and I wasn't as sure in my label as I am now but if I was more sober and more sure I think this would have really pissed me off. 

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⚸ Hughesation ⚸

"You're just trying to confuse me."

"So, you're saying you can't tell if people are hot!? Your eyes work though!"

"Then how can you love someone? If you loved them you'd sleep with them."

"You have intimacy issues."

 

I'm also sick of the special snowflake argument; I have nothing to prove to you and I hate being the center of attention, so yeah - I'm attention seeking.

I've also had "you'll die alone" but my responses is "Nah; I'm taking you with me." :P

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Dekpi

my family talking about aces: "asexuality?? What even is that. They're all a bunch of freaks they need help."

 

"What, are they attracted to plants"

"what's an asexual"

"Asexuality isn't real."

 

and from the LGBTA+ community itself:

"Nobody discriminates against aces."

"Asexuals didn't exist until recently."

"Correctional rape for asexuals isn't real." (Uncommon, but it happens.)

"Asexuality was never seen as a mental illness." (It was.)

"Asexuality never had any forced medical treatments." (It did.)

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arekathevampyre

totally ignoring the fact that asexuals even exist . 

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F1shCake

People asking me if I masturbate. Like 1) that's got nothing to do with feeling sexual attraction for other people and 2) that's none of your business, go away.

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StormySky

If I had a dollar for every time somebody said "you just gotta meet the right person" or something along those lines, I'd have enough money to buy me a full home studio and donate some excess cash to orphans in Uganda. 

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Somebodysomeone
16 minutes ago, StormySky said:

If I had a dollar for every time somebody said "you just gotta meet the right person" or something along those lines, I'd have enough money to buy me a full home studio and donate some excess cash to orphans in Uganda. 

I srsly said this on the dutch aven hahaha soooo True and sooo rich 

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Starbucks Covfefe
43 minutes ago, StormySky said:

If I had a dollar for every time somebody said "you just gotta meet the right person" or something along those lines, I'd have enough money to buy me a full home studio and donate some excess cash to orphans in Uganda. 

LOL! fr!!! 

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