Keakin

Things Asexuals hate to hear

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Laplace   
Laplace

It's also really sad when people call you heartless, emotionless, unsympathetic, unloving, inhuman, or callous just cause you don't put romance and sex as some of your top priorities. 😣😞 I've mentioned this in other threads but I had a philosophy class in college, and we were talking about what made someone/something (like a robot) "human." Many people considered romantic and sexual attraction one of the top things that something required to be considered "human." I didn't know about asexuality at the time, but man I was not pleased. They clamped up real fast when I mentioned how there were definitely people who didn't feel those things and are definitely human (certain people with brain injuries, developmental disorders, and I would've said aros and aces if I knew about them at the time). 😠😤

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Hey you in the corner   
Hey you in the corner
On 8/11/2017 at 10:11 PM, Keakin said:

I am no longer his friend.

I'm glad you're no longer his friend. People like that are not real friends.

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knittinghistorian   
knittinghistorian
On 8/11/2017 at 11:29 AM, paperflames said:

What's so bad about dying alone?

As every Browncoat knows, everybody dies alone.

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Saesha   
Saesha

"I have no interest and will probably never watch Dr.Who, Sherlock or the BBT." judging from the irl one I know and a few on lj, FB and tumblr that is something aces also hate to hear apparently  (?)

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Quasar.w   
Quasar.w
17 hours ago, knittinghistorian said:

As every Browncoat knows, everybody dies alone.

Wouldn't it be weird to die at the same time than someone next you? And I mean not in an accident or sth, just of old age or dunno. I think the comment about "you'll die alone" is just ignorant, because you don't know NOW when, how, where I'll die, if I'm going to live together with a close friend at that time, 100 cats, my brother... you just can't know so shut up please!

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AceAlexa   
AceAlexa

What I usually get:

"Asexual?  Your poor husband!"

"You're being unfair to your husband."

"You need to let him have some sex."

"It's just your meds.  Maybe you should try to stop taking them."

"He (my husband) just doesn't know what he's doing.  You're both young.  He'll learn how to make you feel good.  Just keep trying."

"I get your asexual now but you probably won't be like this forever, you know, when you get a little older and less confused."

"Are you sure he's okay with this?  I just don't understand how he could still love you if you always withheld sex.  He's probably just saying that to make you feel better."

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BionicPi   
BionicPi

"{insert a-spec community term} is homophobic"

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knittinghistorian   
knittinghistorian
4 hours ago, Quasar.w said:

Wouldn't it be weird to die at the same time than someone next you? And I mean not in an accident or sth, just of old age or dunno. I think the comment about "you'll die alone" is just ignorant, because you don't know NOW when, how, where I'll die, if I'm going to live together with a close friend at that time, 100 cats, my brother... you just can't know so shut up please!

I'm not sure you got the "Firefly" reference.

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InsomniacAnna   
InsomniacAnna

I haven't told many people I'm ace, but I've heard this a couple times, something like "oh, isn't it because of some hormonal imbalance?" or "oh, isn't it something in the brain, something about hormones..."

 

It makes me feel like I'm sick or something, even though I know I'm not. I know they actually don't try to be hurtful, they just don't know what asexuality is, but it still hurts hearing that from friends. They thankfully drop the subject after I reply that no, that that's not how it works. 

 

And I think t hat some people think that because I'm ace, I'm very naïve when it comes to sex stuff. And then they are surprised I actually know a lot about sex and kinky stuff and things like that. Like, I'm ace, but I'm not that naïve. 

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Hey you in the corner   
Hey you in the corner

"The "A" in LGBT+ stands for ally." :mellow:

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tryingtokeepmyheadup   
tryingtokeepmyheadup
On 8/4/2017 at 6:02 PM, Alarica said:

Running on from the "how can you be asexual if you haven't had sex" I hate it when people try to discount your sexuality because of their preconceived ideas of what asexuality means.

I've had people say "But I thought you were asexual" and "You can't be asexual"..... after I kissed someone.

ugh... there's nothing i hate more than a person who makes assumptions based on what they THINK a sexual/romantic orientation means without any research. 

 

like seriously—the internet's a thing. use it.

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tryingtokeepmyheadup   
tryingtokeepmyheadup

i am not 100% sure if i'm asexual yet, (started questioning a couple months ago, in April) but people saying stuff like this is why i'm so stressed out about coming out. smdh.

 

'you're too young to know stuff like that'. oh, so i have to be your age to know for sure if i identify as a certain sexuality?

 

'you're just confused/you're going through a phase' (this is exactly what my parents thought about my depression, which has now been going on for three years and they have no idea). no. shut up. stop it.

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tryingtokeepmyheadup   
tryingtokeepmyheadup
22 hours ago, AceAlexa said:

What I usually get:

"Asexual?  Your poor husband!"

"You're being unfair to your husband."

"You need to let him have some sex."

"It's just your meds.  Maybe you should try to stop taking them."

"He (my husband) just doesn't know what he's doing.  You're both young.  He'll learn how to make you feel good.  Just keep trying."

"I get your asexual now but you probably won't be like this forever, you know, when you get a little older and less confused."

"Are you sure he's okay with this?  I just don't understand how he could still love you if you always withheld sex.  He's probably just saying that to make you feel better."

oh HELL no. that's messed up. why are they trying to push you to do something you clearly are not interested in doing? what the heck?

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Quasar.w   
Quasar.w
18 hours ago, knittinghistorian said:

I'm not sure you got the "Firefly" reference.

No but I didn't really reply to that quote, it was more about the "you're going to die alone"-comment you quoted before, sorry that I didn't make it so clear...

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BionicPi   
BionicPi
1 hour ago, Hey you in the corner said:

"The "A" in LGBT+ stands for ally." :mellow:

I reflexively went "No it isn't then I remembered what thread I was in... I spend too much time on the internet.

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alpha decay   
alpha decay
On 05/08/2017 at 6:29 PM, StormySky said:

"You're missing hormones" 

oh I've heard it, too.

 

sure I am missing hormones, but I don't think it relates. we all know asexuality is not the same as low sex drive. <_<

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Deus Ex Infinity   
Deus Ex Infinity

Most hatred / annoying repeated question when looking at someone else in public intensively due to aesthetic attraction: "Do you wanna bone him/her?" <_<

 

 

Spoiler

aces_wild___13___aesthetic_by_sallyvinte

 

So very straight to the point. RL at its best.

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Jayce   
Jayce

 

Spoiler, interesting vocabulaire and etc

 

"You're asexual??? I'll make you sexual!" 



 

*Insert brief explanation of previously watched porn movie here" 

 

"AND??? U getting horny already??" 

 

A co worker wanted to convert me >.>

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Hey you in the corner   
Hey you in the corner

"You're asexual? Pftt, whatever. You're too ugly for me to screw anyways."  

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Laplace   
Laplace
4 hours ago, Hey you in the corner said:

"You're asexual? Pftt, whatever. You're too ugly for me to screw anyways."  

Life as an asexual guy in a nutshell: "Oh you don't date/you've never had sex? You must be ugly/have a small dick/have no life." Thankfully people tended not to mess around with me after middle school/part of high school. One of the perks of having a reputation for being cynical and serious.

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Just like Jughead   
Just like Jughead

I hate hearing people say they can like to have sex and still be asexual

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Keakin   
Keakin
On 8/14/2017 at 3:06 PM, AceAlexa said:

What I usually get:

"Asexual?  Your poor husband!"

"You're being unfair to your husband."

"You need to let him have some sex."

...

I already hate them all -__- 

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Keakin   
Keakin
On 8/15/2017 at 1:07 PM, tryingtokeepmyheadup said:

i am not 100% sure if i'm asexual yet, (started questioning a couple months ago, in April) but people saying stuff like this is why i'm so stressed out about coming out. smdh.

 

'you're too young to know stuff like that'. oh, so i have to be your age to know for sure if i identify as a certain sexuality?

 

'you're just confused/you're going through a phase' (this is exactly what my parents thought about my depression, which has now been going on for three years and they have no idea). no. shut up. stop it.

I've been sure since I was 12 that I wanted nothing to do with it. Much of these ignorant words came from my family and there were times where family reunions were taking place and all at the same time would be on top of me about this. Not just pressuring me, which I find completely messed up to pressure a 12 year old into liking that, but actually making jokes and bashing me for it. Psychologically they would torture me (not knowing the effect it had on me) saying obscene words and things about the subject that drove me to even have nightmares. I can't tell you how awful it felt to have all of them laughing at me and contributing. I felt so alienated, in a deep black hole, screaming inside. Sometimes I'd beg them to stop but they wouldn't. My grandfather was the only one who would demand them to stop, or come and find me outside and try to comfort me. 

 

Be strong and stand up for yourself always. I never stopped. I strongly confronted them and they respect me now. It was and still is a process, but much has changed. *hugs* You're not alone.💜

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Keakin   
Keakin
On 8/17/2017 at 0:06 PM, Jayce said:

 

Spoiler, interesting vocabulaire and etc

 

 

  Hide contents

"You're asexual??? I'll make you sexual!" 

 


 

*Insert brief explanation of previously watched porn movie here" 

 

"AND??? U getting horny already??" 

 

A co worker wanted to convert me >.>

 

 

Harassment Harassment Harassment

Never let them get away with it. Call them out for it. No different than offering "dick" to a lesbian or the other way around insistently.

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tryingtokeepmyheadup   
tryingtokeepmyheadup
On 8/20/2017 at 7:45 PM, Keakin said:

I've been sure since I was 12 that I wanted nothing to do with it. Much of these ignorant words came from my family and there were times where family reunions were taking place and all at the same time would be on top of me about this. Not just pressuring me, which I find completely messed up to pressure a 12 year old into liking that, but actually making jokes and bashing me for it. Psychologically they would torture me (not knowing the effect it had on me) saying obscene words and things about the subject that drove me to even have nightmares. I can't tell you how awful it felt to have all of them laughing at me and contributing. I felt so alienated, in a deep black hole, screaming inside. Sometimes I'd beg them to stop but they wouldn't. My grandfather was the only one who would demand them to stop, or come and find me outside and try to comfort me. 

 

Be strong and stand up for yourself always. I never stopped. I strongly confronted them and they respect me now. It was and still is a process, but much has changed. *hugs* You're not alone.💜

thank you so much :')) i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i'm always here for you and i'm glad to know that i'm not alone in this. i'm really happy to have found this website!

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Keakin   
Keakin
2 hours ago, tryingtokeepmyheadup said:

thank you so much :')) i'm so sorry you had to go through that. i'm always here for you and i'm glad to know that i'm not alone in this. i'm really happy to have found this website!

❤❤❤❤

We're all here for each other.

"I'm really happy to have found this website!" AREN'T WE ALL!!! FREAKING YES!

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Jaimes   
Jaimes
On 21/08/2017 at 2:45 AM, Keakin said:

I've been sure since I was 12 that I wanted nothing to do with it. Much of these ignorant words came from my family and there were times where family reunions were taking place and all at the same time would be on top of me about this. Not just pressuring me, which I find completely messed up to pressure a 12 year old into liking that, but actually making jokes and bashing me for it. Psychologically they would torture me (not knowing the effect it had on me) saying obscene words and things about the subject that drove me to even have nightmares. I can't tell you how awful it felt to have all of them laughing at me and contributing. I felt so alienated, in a deep black hole, screaming inside. Sometimes I'd beg them to stop but they wouldn't. My grandfather was the only one who would demand them to stop, or come and find me outside and try to comfort me. 

 

Be strong and stand up for yourself always. I never stopped. I strongly confronted them and they respect me now. It was and still is a process, but much has changed. *hugs* You're not alone.💜

Your family seems to me to be very ignorant and very wrong in what they did to you, because who puts this kind of pressure on a 12-year-old? After I say that society is totally turned to sexuality and that people are crazy about it, some people do not believe it, but here is an example. I went through something similar, not that it was as bad as, but I know what it feels like to feel at least some of this pressure.

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