Someoneunderthestars Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 Okay, so I'm confused about my identity. I guess a lot of people are. But I decided to ask around, so here I am. And here's my story. I'm a 15 year old girl, and as far as I know, attracted to guys. But the thing is, if someone were to show me a picture of naked men, I'd have no reaction. Like, I don't feel the need to actually do anything sexual to them. My classmates have thought that I don't have crushes, because I don't fawn over shirtless men with them. I started thinking that there was something wrong with me, or that I'm just a late bloomer or something. But the thing is, I do find men attractive, and I would find them cute, but not 'hot' in that sense. I just really didn't get why anyone would have sex with strangers. In committed relationships, maybe, but not with strangers simply because you find them hot. That said, I've come to seek help here because most articles about asexuality cover sex. They ask questions like 'How was sex?' or something like that, and I don't now how to answer because I've never had it. In the past, I've been questioned about this before, and I just thought that I was waiting until marriage. I just wasn't interested. When sex scenes come up in movies or TV shows, I wouldn't have any strong reactions to it ( Except probably embarrassment because I'm with my parents.). I do, however, read fanfiction, and I'd enjoy the scenes. I'm not sure if this is relevant, but the girls my age love dressing up in skimpy clothes. They'd always wear shorts, skirts, crop tops, tank tops, etc. And It's always summer where I come from, and I get that it's hot, but I just feel sort of exposed. I'm not used to wearing shorts outside. At home, maybe. And I never had a relationship before. I think that it's too early, considering that I'm still in school, and it will eventually lead to breaking up. So I'm hoping that someone would tell me that 'Hey, you're definitely asexual, no need to be confused anymore.', or something. I hope this might help me to confirm. Thanks! Sorry for the long chunk of text. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alarica Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 Unfortunately nobody will be able to tell you that you are definately asexual. This is because that sexuality is a very personal subject that is hard to gauge by outsiders and also because sexuality can be fluid and sometimes requires a bit of introspection and self discovery. What you have mentioned before about not feeling sexual attraction may mean that you are asexual or on the ace spectrum, however, it's mainly up to you to decide if the asexual orientation is something that you identify with. If you do feel as though being asexual describes your experience than go ahead and use this to help identify yourself and don't worry about fitting a certain type of criteria. Asexuality isn't necessarily about fitting in a predetermined box and asexual individuals can all have varied experiences. I know this doesn't really answer your question but I guess its something to think about. Hope this helps diffuse your confusion in some small way. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Someoneunderthestars Posted August 5, 2017 Author Share Posted August 5, 2017 Yeah I'm probably less confused . Thanks so much for your help! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alarica Posted August 5, 2017 Share Posted August 5, 2017 No problem : ) And welcome to Aven! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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