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Welcome Older Asexuals


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welcome, twiglet and aces_wild! Have some :cake:

Thanks for the cake dave, nice to be here...........

Yes, thanks daveb.

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Hi all, I'm new to AVEN and fit the older definition I think (42). Didn't know that such a thing as asexual existed (for humans at least) up until earlier this week... but I'm starting to think that it fits my life rather than wondering what was wrong with me for not having much interest in sex at all at best to being what a lot of people have called a prude since I can remember. I have been married twice (1st - almost 5 yrs and current - 17 yrs) and have two children with my current husband.

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Welcome and have some :cake:!

(42 is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything)

Yeah, people used to think I was a prude when I was younger.

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Hi,

Another new to AVEN older person (59). Have been reading this forum off and on for a few months now and thought it time to peek out from the woodwork.

tl;dr Did not know until last fall that anyone else in the world thinks sex is overrated, so thanks to all - all your posts are incredibly comforting!

Also married and divorced (in the last century), one son (31), finally gave up trying to have relationships, even same-sex friendships, around 2002 since they always revolved around sex. Granted there are other issues besides asexuality that make my relationships difficult, but it has been helpful to know that this one at least is as much or more society's problem as it is mine ;). Am past the chat rooms and teenage angst (mostly), so it's nice to have a lounge for oldsters, but it is so great that asexual young people have resources and support these days. cake.gifcake.gif for the kids! and thanks to you founders for starting this site, and all you contributors for making yourselves and your experiences available to the asexuals of the world.

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Welcome to AVEN and particularly to this little corner of it :D . I still remember how relieved I felt when I found it, I discovered I wasn't a freak after all. I have two sons, one granddaughter and, like you, gave up on relationships long ago. Sometimes it gets lonely, but now I have my two dogs I am never completely alone :)

Have some welcome :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: (it's traditional :D )

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Welcome welcome :)

I have 2 boys too, and 3 cats. I'd like more cats (...and kids if I'm honest!) but I seriously don't have room and people think it will add to the domestic madness!

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Thanks, both, for the welcome and the cake! It has been/still IS a relief to be able to come here, and you are so right, pets sure do help (2 cats here, 15 and 10, getting to be grouchy old buggers like me).

Will probably be moving to a different city before the end of this year - moving didn't used to be a big deal but somehow this time it feels really scary (or maybe I was just too numbed out before to recognize it). That's probably a lot of my motivation for signing in, to make some new and understanding connections before then. Am still a freak, just not in this particular respect as it turns out :D

Are there other forum areas where old newbies (new oldies?) should go to acclimate?

PS Tanwen, love your signature quotations!

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Welcome and have some more :cake:

Thanks!

(I recognized the Pratchett reference) :)

Well that totally rocks - someone here recognizes obscure Pratchett references! Not even Om, Offler, or the skygod himself could have sent a better confirmation that THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE TO BE.

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Well that totally rocks - someone here recognizes obscure Pratchett references! Not even Om, Offler, or the skygod himself could have sent a better confirmation that THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE TO BE.

well, it's not exactly Dunmanifestin; probably a bit closer to Ankh-Morpork; but it does have its charms. Have you visited the dwarf bread cake museum? (actually there isn't one, but still... :lol:) And I guess we are a bit like the Unseen University (with people trying to raise visibility). :P

(I still have quite a few of the books still to read. Just finished Feet of Clay this past weekend, and Wintersmith just before that.)

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Hi, new here, 59 yrs and thankful to find you. Where were you 20 yrs ago. I have always felt sex is overrated (look at TV) in fact don't care about it at all. 20 years of marriage, 3 marriages and was labeled prud, something medical, etc. Not true. And I am not saying I couldn't enjoy sex on occasion-just could care less. But I will say I adore my two children (grown now) so they were worth it. Unfortunately, I don't think it is socially acceptable to NOT be sex obsessed and that is the sad part. I will say that as we age, we figure out more about ourselves and worry less about what is acceptable, so that many of us are able to come here and post now. Thanks for being here!

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Hi, new here, 59 yrs and thankful to find you. Where were you 20 yrs ago. I have always felt sex is overrated (look at TV) in fact don't care about it at all. 20 years of marriage, 3 marriages and was labeled prud, something medical, etc. Not true. And I am not saying I couldn't enjoy sex on occasion-just could care less. But I will say I adore my two children (grown now) so they were worth it. Unfortunately, I don't think it is socially acceptable to NOT be sex obsessed and that is the sad part. I will say that as we age, we figure out more about ourselves and worry less about what is acceptable, so that many of us are able to come here and post now. Thanks for being here!

I too am 59 and agree completely with you.

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Hello all

I'm in my 30s, in Toronto. I hope there is love for me out there.

I desire connection with other people, and am looking for love.

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Curious, as you've probably read (as you've been here a while) AVEN isn't a dating site but there are some threads you may find interesting/of help:

The Meet up Mart - although this was planned for January, you could always ask when the next one is likely to be.

and: The Personals thread

You've probably seen these already (in which case I apologize for being boring) but if not, then maybe you'd like to check them out.

Hope you're enjoying AVEN :)

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Hi!

I´m 32 years old and new to AVEN (or any other asexuality community). Until about a month ago, I've never thought about asexuality, but it fits my entire life. I have never fell sexual attraction towards another human being. I can fall in love, but I´m not interested in sex at all.

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Seems like "older asexuals" are getting younger every day!

(or maybe I'm just getting older :lol:)

Anyway, welcome and have some :cake:.

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(I still have quite a few of the books still to read. Just finished Feet of Clay this past weekend, and Wintersmith just before that.)

Take your time, it's a sad day when there's no more new Terry to look forward to :(. On the other hand, it's great fun to re-read them in character series (the witches, the wizards, the night watch, etc.). Enjoy!

[edit] hm, sorry, thought this would post below daveb's earlier reply.

Oh well, now I can add a big Amen to peiagh erbee's last comment :P

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Take your time, it's a sad day when there's no more new Terry to look forward to :(. On the other hand, it's great fun to re-read them in character series (the witches, the wizards, the night watch, etc.). Enjoy!

[edit] hm, sorry, thought this would post below daveb's earlier reply.

Oh well, now I can add a big Amen to peiagh erbee's last comment :P

I am. I tend to read one or two of them in between other books. Right now I'm reading a book in a different fantasy series (something a little less light). :)

The funny thing is, when I think someone is obviously older than me only to find out they are actually a fair bit younger. A lot of actors in old movies fit that bill, as well as people I come across in 'real life", too.

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  • 2 weeks later...
live for today

Welcome to the new older asexuals forum!

Thanks for your patience whilst waiting for this forum to be created.

Tanwen will be your moderator.

It's up to you older asexuals what gets posted here, whatever you wish.

I am going to say we're not going to limit who is older if you are 'older' and you have a topic that might suit this forum then please feel free to post it.

'Younger' members of the board bear in mind this is a forum for discussing issues that might face 'older' asexuals. Again we dion't have age mimits. Everyone is free to post here but bear in mind the nature of this forum.

I hope you enjoy using this new forum.

Any problems or confusion please let me know.

Amcan

Admin

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Hi!

I'm older, in my 40s, but I've been told I look younger. Well I feel younger too. Anyway, I am new to Aven and I hope to find friends and maybe a special person on this site. I

'm glad I finally found a place where I can relate to other like minded people!

Blondie12

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Wow.. so, until today my last post on this board was November 2005. :blush:

Hello all.. older male here.

Nearly 41 now. I'm still so confused as to what I am. Am I asexual or do I have an extremely low sex drive? Anyway, I am confused... and it's not been good for the old mental health over a good number of years now.

One or two existing forum members may remember me from the 'old days'. I renewed my interest in this site exclusively as a 'casual lurker' a couple of months ago. Today's article on http://www.guardian.co.uk/ has pushed me to start posting again. :rolleyes:

I have met quite a few members on AVEN meetups in 2004/2005 too, but my attempts at a romantic/intimate relationship with a woman in early 2005 broke up in failure after a few months and left me utterly confused and depressed. I didn't want to fit into the asexual box anymore and I had limited sexual activity with the lady concerned (but mainly kissing and cuddling and bed-sharing) in the 2005 relationship and sporadically in years previously and this caused me to leave this forum.

I'm still resolutely single and a bit confused about the direction of my life, but hopefully I will be back for a chat with the hugely increased AVEN membership regularly from now on. I'm hoping to finally get myself on the road to a romantic relationship (not necessarily sexually intimate, of course), but that will only come by being confident with myself and getting back into the swing of things socially on great forums like this one.

Nice to meet you all, anyway!

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  • 2 weeks later...
treetopteresa

Im 50 but still feel like a kid im my heart ever though my body feels more like 80. Im tired of being alone and it is nice to find others my age. Tried sex once thinking it might make me sexual (yeah I know, nieve)Am glad I got that failed experiment out of the way.

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Hi, I'm Judi1, I'm new, 34 and very interested in learning about asexuality. I had never thought of asexuality as something that actually existed, and I've felt out of place all my life. Thanks to you guys, I feel i can help myself feel better and help others as well. I'm glad i found you!!

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Hi Judi1, and welcome to AVEN - it's good to find others who think along the same lines as yourself - I can still remember how I felt when I first found AVEN.

I don't know how much you've explored, but this is a good thread for helping you to find your way around...oh and before I forget - have some welcome :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake: :cake:

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