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Welcome Older Asexuals


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Hello "Rice Krispies knees" person! :lol:

You will find an answer to this post in the "...past 50's" thread, where you posted before.

"Tad" was kind enough to move your message to that thread, so you won't be replying to the 'Older Welcome' site, more than once. I hope you feel as if you've found a friendly place with us, to chat and make friends. Please let's do our talking in the "50's" thread, OK? :)

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  • 4 weeks later...
snugglepuss

I really was glad to read the perspectives on asexuality.org when I found it a couple years ago. I now go around some saying I am asexual; knowing there is room to discuss this among other people has been affirming. And it has actually softened my low grade chronic anger about the dominance of the Sexuals. Now that I grasp that they are only the majority, and I belong to another minority (already lesbian, gender unconventional, old) I can bring up my resentments for what they are, get them out, and maybe just accept everyone more. On the Olders Forum someone wrote of the "empire of sexuality." I'm not sure what they meant but I have pictured the world as so run by Sexual imperialism. They push their culture and suppress others, assume unspoken expectations, try to turn everyone their way, put sex in our face in some way or another at almost every show or ad or movie or joke or religious event, and even run whole countries around it, (e.g. women have to cover themselves, even their face, because of having to keep this great drive men have in bounds). Sexuals have told so many lies about sexuality, and about gender. They spread massive diseases and overpopulation with their activities. Maybe people are offended about me complaining about them, but it really is nothing compared to the ridicule, and the attempted genocide almost of us. I say us as someone for whom sex has happened as I feel physical attractions, but who has been trying to explain for years I am not looking to get laid, I'm looking to get connected. And sex is only 1 or 2 percent of the physical. The bonding of physical closeness with emotional openness is a more universal thing for all ages and animals. Call it what you want but don't go around looking upon people generally as sex objects. To me that is dehumanizing, feminists 40 year ago seriously criticized it, but for many Sexuals it seems to be uplifting or energizing or something to do so. They must back off and leave room for so much more in life. Thanks.

hay you don't have to agree with this and I may change my tune tomorrow

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I really was glad to read the perspectives on asexuality.org when I found it a couple years ago. I now go around some saying I am asexual; knowing there is room to discuss this among other people has been affirming. And it has actually softened my low grade chronic anger about the dominance of the Sexuals. Now that I grasp that they are only the majority, and I belong to another minority (already lesbian, gender unconventional, old) I can bring up my resentments for what they are, get them out, and maybe just accept everyone more. On the Olders Forum someone wrote of the "empire of sexuality." I'm not sure what they meant but I have pictured the world as so run by Sexual imperialism. They push their culture and suppress others, assume unspoken expectations, try to turn everyone their way, put sex in our face in some way or another at almost every show or ad or movie or joke or religious event, and even run whole countries around it, (e.g. women have to cover themselves, even their face, because of having to keep this great drive men have in bounds). Sexuals have told so many lies about sexuality, and about gender. They spread massive diseases and overpopulation with their activities. Maybe people are offended about me complaining about them, but it really is nothing compared to the ridicule, and the attempted genocide almost of us. I say us as someone for whom sex has happened as I feel physical attractions, but who has been trying to explain for years I am not looking to get laid, I'm looking to get connected. And sex is only 1 or 2 percent of the physical. The bonding of physical closeness with emotional openness is a more universal thing for all ages and animals. Call it what you want but don't go around looking upon people generally as sex objects. To me that is dehumanizing, feminists 40 year ago seriously criticized it, but for many Sexuals it seems to be uplifting or energizing or something to do so. They must back off and leave room for so much more in life. Thanks.

hay you don't have to agree with this and I may change my tune tomorrow

While it is ok to rant and vent on AVEN antisexuality is frowned upon.

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Hi everyone, it's been 4 yrs. since I last posted here. Life got complicated, but I've really been missing the "I'm home" feeling that Aven so beautifully portrays through it's members. You're such a wonderful, caring group of people.

So 12yrs into our marriage and we're still trying to compromise. An Asexual/Gay marriage that never started out that way. Life sure has a way of making things interesting.

Well, just wanted to pop in and say Hi :)

ps. Nana x2 now...and 3rd one due this July!! :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake: :cake:'s for everyone!!!

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Hi everyone, it's been 4 yrs. since I last posted here. Life got complicated, but I've really been missing the "I'm home" feeling that Aven so beautifully portrays through it's members. You're such a wonderful, caring group of people.

So 12yrs into our marriage and we're still trying to compromise. An Asexual/Gay marriage that never started out that way. Life sure has a way of making things interesting.

Well, just wanted to pop in and say Hi :)

ps. Nana x2 now...and 3rd one due this July!! :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake: :cake:'s for everyone!!!

welcome

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Welcome back starcat! Please begin your postings in the "...past 50's" thread in the Older Asexuals.

Kindly scroll a brief read-through there, and I hope you will discover what a friendly group of people we are, who make that our 'hang-out'!! (certainly not from the beginning, just the last few pages, maybe)

I look forward to seeing your posts! Thanks! :cake: ;)

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Thanks Tadkitty and runester and the tip on past 50's thread :)

This morning my inbox was over-whelmed with spam from my post here in this thread. name on the reply was "hourepreepem9" 18 or so emails! trying to sell oakleys or something. How can I stop it?

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Hi starcat! I posted to you over in the "...50's" thread. Please check it out.

PS: Good to see you! ;)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello, I hope I'm in the right place and I'm posting to the right place. I just now found this group and joined immediately. I've spent the past hour reading about what asexual actually refers to and wasn't sure that was me or not. I've been married to one man for 34 years (I'm 62 and he is 60), and we had a fairly good sex life at one time, at least we thought so, maybe others wouldn't have thought so. Sex once a week was enough for us. I managed to get pregnant 6 times but could only carry two babies to term, lost the other four to miscarriages, one might be considered a stillbirth these days. We both lost interest in sex about seven years ago, and were relieved to learn that the other one had too. We still have a love-filled marriage, we hug and kiss, but that's all. I'm certainly glad to find a place that it's okay to talk about it. Can asexuality be inherited? My mother always hated sex too, and after my parents divorced, she remarried but it was pretty much an asexual marriage. They were married for 40 years and my mother just passed away in January of Alzheimers. An irony in that case, is that now my 83 year old step father has discovered, or rediscovered sex, and is getting married again to a woman who is 20 years younger than he is, she's actually younger than I am. I was amazed that after 40 years without sex that he would want it again, but now he is acting like a teenager. Anyway, probably TMI. Thanks for letting join....

Cindi

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CindiBri, yours is such an upbeat story! I love that you and your husband followed a similar path of interest and then disinterest about sex. You are two of the lucky few who have found love and sexual (or asexual) compatability. Really wonderful for both of you!

Also, welcome to AVEN, and please have some cake on me: xHQK9.gifcGK2W.gifbtb0q.gifXZ856.gifkEktO.gifKif2f.gif

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Hi Cindi and welcome to AVEN! Here's some traditional cake from me too.. :cake::cake: plus some homemade cookies cookie_zps350b5c03.gifcookie_zps350b5c03.gif to munch on.


My condolences on loosing your mother recently and to your miscarriages…so sad. Life sure is filled with twists and turns.


Interesting question if asexuality is hereditary. I’m asexual and I know my mother never really liked sex either. She always referred to it as “doing your duty as a wife” You are so lucky to grow together with your husband in your sexuality’s. You don’t normally hear that happening. Sure wish it was like that in my marriage..it would make life sooo much easier..lol


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Thank you for the welcomes. I'm so glad that I found this site. It's nice to know that at least in one respect, I'm not really a freak.

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Hi CindiBri; It is so nice to meet you, and read your great intro - thank you!

This link http://www.asexuality.org/home/general.html is from the Front Page/FAQs, and is filled with much useful information about asexuality.

Since this thread is our "Older Asexuals" welcome site, I'd like to suggest that you might feel at home posting in the "...past 50's", which is nicely active (check out the last few pages of posts). Or, a bit on the slower/just getting built-up side is the "...over 60's" thread to post on.

Either way, you will be sincerely welcomed! :cake: :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello, "CarmenC"! It is good to see that you chose to join our community.

You have so many varied interests...it's wonderful; I know you would enjoy posting in the "30 somethings..." thread, here on the "Older Asexuals". That site has many friendly folk, who would truly enjoy hearing from you.

Thank you for your greeting and welcome to AVEN! :cake: :)

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G'day all :) Sooooo glad I found this site. I'm 43 and have always felt different and was sick of people asking "whats wrong with you? Why aren't you married, want kids or have a boyfriend....are you gay?" ..... and I never really knew the answer until I came across this site. So THANKYOU!!!!!!!

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Welcome to AVEN and in particular 'Oldies' - and do have some more welcome :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake: . This is a lovely, friendly and completely nutty forum and I hope you'll like it here. Pull up a comfy chair, much on your welcome :cake::cake: and enjoy :)

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Hi, Bula Girl! I'm so glad you chose to join our community, and found your way to the "Older Asexuals" site, as "Tanwen" said. There is a thread called "40s" and welcomes all, but most specifically those in the forty age-range. You may enjoy posting there and meeting some fine people. They have cake, too! :cake: :)

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Hello, I am new to this website. I just discovered 2 weeks ago I am not broken or different and this feels good! I am 46 and soon to be divorced. I think a huge part of the problem was I am asexual and my husband is extremely sexual. I thought this was my problem all along. This information helps me to move on and eventually find someone else more like me.

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Welcome to AVEN, "Lisa8"! I would like to point you toward the "40s..." thread, here on the 'Older Asexuals' site. I'm sure you will meet many fine people, with lots of ongoing, interesting conversations. :cake: :)

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  • 3 weeks later...
bobbinalong

I am so so happy to have found this site. No longer have to be alone. It's great to know, that its okay to be who I am!

Bobbin

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I am so so happy to have found this site. No longer have to be alone. It's great to know, that its okay to be who I am!

Bobbin

So glad you feel at home! I also posted to you in the "Welcome Lounge" and the "...past 50s" sites. Enjoy! :cake::mellow:

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  • 3 weeks later...

Welcome, BJ58! I'm not quite that old (54), but I'm definitely not young any more.

Paid a lot of dues. Tired of living. Scared of dying.

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Hi, BJ58: If you're "Ancient" at 69, then what does that make me at one more than that? :P

Please come visit us ("asexjoe", included) at the "...past 50s" site. You will be made to feel right at home. Read the last couple of pages, that's all, to get a 'feel' for the site, then kindly post us a "Hello"! I look forward to it. We are all just interested in platonic friendships, and I think we 'pull it off '.

Welcome to AVEN! :) :cake:

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Yeah, that's true. Two failed marriages, and one that may fail.

My kids are grown up and gone, though. I did alright there. No grandkids yet though. Shit.

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Yeah, that's true. Two failed marriages, and one that may fail.

My kids are grown up and gone, though. I did alright there. No grandkids yet though. Shit.

You're asexual, and looking forward to grandkids? :huh:

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