• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
Amcan

Welcome Older Asexuals

Recommended Posts

2coffees
Bunch of youngsters here from what I can see..:)

It wasn't knee-joints that were popping at my birthday party last weekend..celebrating 57 years overall and 7 years of freedom..lol

I have never had so much fun since I decided at 50 to be what I was and not what "society" wanted me to be.

roddy

CONGRATULATIONS :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pickles mcgee

I will turn 49 this Monday, so...only one more year to go!

--T

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
vikingo

Short version: Click -> icon_mini_profile.gif Profile, scroll to the bottom and follow instructions there.

Welcome free spirit

Welcome 2coffees

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
relaine1

Thanks for the OP forum, for us geezers. I am just over 50. I've been middle aged for about 20 years but physically and mentally I feel the same as I did when I was 30. I've recently started running twice as many miles as I used to run weekly, and I feel stronger and better than I've felt in a very long time.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest member344

hi all,great forum for us.i,m 40 and i stay young by going to the gym and a holiday in koh samui(thailand)every year....!i needed this site 20 years ago,but better late than never.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Blitzentan
I've been middle aged for about 20 years but physically and mentally I feel the same as I did when I was 30.

My brain stopped aging at 17, now when it tries to get the body to do what it could at that age, the body just says 'What!!!!!! :shock: :shock: :shock: Get real!!!!!! :P :P :P '

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Elias

I heard for twenty years that it takes until we are 50 to figure out we can be who we were meant to be. If I had known then what I think I know now it would have eliminated three marriages and a whole lot of other relationship troubles. I am 54 now and the females in my life always took to my 'not-interested in sex' as a challenge to help me over come. There are a few very upset females when they finally figured out I was telling the truth. Unfortunately, they took it personally as if they were not good enough or desirable enough. Now that I am clear on that I am trying to figure out how to have a close emotional compassionate relationship without the messy parts. Any body have clues, hints or practical wisdom on this question? elias

Remember if you try to skip the beginning and go to the end, you just end up at the beginning!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ziffler
Elias Wrote:

I am 54 now and the females in my life always took to my 'not-interested in sex' as a challenge to help me over come. There are a few very upset females when they finally figured out I was telling the truth. Unfortunately, they took it personally as if they were not good enough or desirable enough.

Exactly. Same happened to me a few times.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
funnygirl

Hi all

I just joined today and am so glad to see this site. I am 52 and am a single mother (two marriages, two divorces)...have one left at home. I tried for many decades to prove I was sexual - after all, I am a child of the 60's and 70's! - and now am comfortable with not having sex though would like someone to cuddle with, do things with, etc. It's kind of tough as men continue to be only interested in sex...some more so as they get into their 40's and 50's.

Anyway, thanks for being here.

Chris

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Elias

If I could recount the number of times I have had this conversion... How our society confuses love, sex, gender and nudity with all those terms. The nature of maleness is a visual attraction as a cue for reproduction which triggers the process of sexual contact that is difficult to stop once started. The nature of femaleness is the opposite so is more attracted to character then to form, and the care of the life form in the long term rather then the short term of the creation itself. Men give love to get sex and females give sex to find love. However, in each gender is a bit of the other. We are all dealing with stereo types and are stereo typed ourselves by the viewers history and expectations. This said as a frame work, finding the one to match oneself regardless of the focus is made more difficult by the mantra of sex is good and needed and normal. This social mantra has the current kids seeing sex as an emotionless activity and as something one just does. If we are confused at our ages about how to balance emotion with form, what is going through the kids minds??? AVEN was just aired on Montel Williams and will have more people invesitagating this site. The next step is local baraches and safe social ways of meeting without expectation. I would like to find a partner for mutual exporation of live at the spiritual end and love and connection. Interesting the women I am consistently meeting end up more male in their focus of aggresive sex. Role reversals are a difficult matter especially for men who are viewed as less then male and deal with attacks just as maleness in females brings fear and hatered in other males insecure in who they are. The men in my life are all single, a wide span of ages, and without hope of attracting a female. The only thing that adds to this problem is that 19 year old females and I have had a long standing attraction from way back. Today the females are viewed as my daughter and I have a different problem. Sometimes I think that being sexless, with no need for love would be easier, but this too has its problems and brings death sooner. Just thoughts. elias

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
beachbird

As a 52-year-old asexual female, I was very happy to find this website and this part of the forum for us older folks. It's good to hear and share views with interesting and enlightened people who aren't on the sexual bandwagon with mainstream society. And to realize I'm not alone and it's ok with how I feel (Or don't feel) about sex. I'm glad to know that who I am is enough.And that the person I am inside is what really might make me seem desirable to another human being.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nldeenie

I'm happy to say that I'm new to this site. I thought there was something wrong with me becouse of how I felt. It's good to know I'm not alone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ziffler

Welcome to the Older Asexuals Forum Nldeenie. :cake::cake::cake:

Its a overwhelming feeling of freedom discovering that you are not alone in the universe, that there are other that just like yourself.

Have fun at AVEN and I look forward to reading your posts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
nldeenie

Thanks for the welcome.. Hope to chat soon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
baronrae

I actually found this site thru my daughter. She sent me a movie about asexuality and it had this site listed. I have always thought that she was gay, but when I asked she never told me anything. I just knew that she seemed uninterested in dating. :?

Little does she know that this is actually how I feel as well.

I have never discussed my personal feelings with her, but I guess I now know how she feels.

I think people that don't desire sex have always been around, it was just considered a flaw or something to fix!

I say why fix something that's not broken?

Oh P.S. I am 43 years old, married 3 times, divorced three times.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Freed_Spirit

Welcome baronrae :cake::cake::cake:

Just curious - what movie was it?

Here's to not fixing what ain't broken! Here's to AVEN for helping me realise I wasn't broken, or alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KAGU143

Welcome to AVEN, Baronrae! This is our official welcome cake: :arrow: :cake:

(And also welcome to the forum where the neatest people hang out ... LOL :P )

Isn't it great to be old enough to know better?

-GB

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ziffler

Welcome to Aven, BaronRae and Welcome to the Older Asexual Forum

:cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake:

You are right, I guess we have always been around, it just would of been so much easier, if we knew about each other long before our older years.

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Hope to see more of your posts.

Have fun and enjoy yourself here on AVEN!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
baronrae

Thank you for your welcome.

The movie was on Youtube

I have always worked in a mans job and I have had 25 years of inuendo. Normally, the guys would imply I was loose or even a dominitrix, constant smut. Basically when I got sick of it and would tell them that I hated sex, then I was donned a lesbian or manhater. I still have not figured out why they felt attacked by how "I FEEL".

My ex-husband still takes offense when I say "I don't want to be with anyone". (I left him due to violence, not sex).

You know when I watched the movie, I was struck with the way the commentator automatically assumed that the young guy did not want sex ONLY because he was a virgin. They just don't get it. He was basically, dismissed on the grounds of being nieve or an innocent.

I guess people won't get it until those of us that have had sex, speak up too. I somehow think it would be taken a "menapausal syptoms or some other disorder or defect.

OK I'm done venting.

:oops:

Have a good day.

:wink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Ziffler

Hi Camely, Welcome to AVEN :cake::cake::cake:

And Welcome to the Older Asexual Forum :cake::cake::cake:

Age is irrelevant really for this forum. Its more about maturity of subject matter than chronological age. So, I am sure you will fit in, and enjoy our little corner of AVEN nicely. Jump in and let us know what you think on any thread that catches your attention.

Again, Welcome :cake::cake::cake:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PurpleMs

Hi,

I want to tell you how glad I am to find this forum. I'd like to introduce myself. I never considered myself an asexual, but it was suggested to me by an ex-boyfriend. He was having performance problems and said it was my fault because I was not enthused enough! He overlooked the fact that he was obese (I also found out he was a pothead and had no job!) I told myself that it wasn't me, it was him and I'd be fine with someone else.

Well, 20 yrs. later I went out on a date with a guy, who was excited and probably would have done something if his mother wasn't in the next room! He told me that he wanted a woman who would be all over him! On a first date?? Then there was the last date-nice guy too, but there was some incident in his car, don't remember what. This guy gave me a funny look and didn't want to see me again. This was the second date. Are all women putting out on the first date or what? Anyway that was it for me with dating and relationships.

You know the old saying, "Use it or lose it". I can truly say that I have lost it BIG time. The interest is dead. My mother told me that she wasn't interested and I had no idea was she was talking about.

In society sex is pushed so much in advertising to sell everything. Youngsters feel pressured to try S-E-X before they're ready to understand or handle it.

Thanks for letting me have my say. 8)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Kelly

Welcome, PurpleMs! :cake:

I hope that you feel at home here. :)

Kelly

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
KAGU143

Hi PurpleMS!

Welcome to AVEN.

Enjoy! :arrow: :cake::cake:

(We serve cake for just about any reason at all, but especially when welcoming newcomers!)

-GB (Greybird)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Blitzentan

You know me, grbd...don't need any excuse whatsoever... :cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake::cake: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Welcome to all, age is mind over matter...and if you don't mind, it don't matter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
PurpleMs

Just wanted to say thank you for the welcome. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Islander9

So good to see this forum still continuing - I dont know whether I should post this in a seperate thread - Tanwen, advise please;

I am eldest of six siblings.

Five days ago one of my siblings received a diagnosis that is basically

a death sentence (yes, I know: life is a death sentence.) In her case, it is

a'soon' - and it could get nasty.

Anyone here been in this position? As family I mean?

If there is some brave person who *is* in this position right now

I'd especially welcome your help, and repay however I can.

All thoughts, leads, sites, comments welcomed - I feel devastated-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Dreamstar

sorry for any confussion...great website and nice to know we are not alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
isillote

Hi, Welcome to Aven! Everyone here is very friendly - browse the different forums and join in! And have some delicious :cake:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now