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What do you think about long-distance / online relationships?


Guest Deus Ex Infinity

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity

Hey guys,

 

I was just wondering how do you feel about (romantic) long-distance or online relationships?

 

Is it considered equal or less worth than RL bonds?

 

What kind of experience did you have?

 

Would you give it a serious try if possible?

 

Could you imagine staying happy and satisfied through either one of these two connections with your significant other in the long term (e.g. by using video / voice chat, text messages, phone calls  etc.)?

 

How do you think about cheating or flirting?

 

My experience has been very successful so I'd really like to find a serious online relationship again but most people would just laugh at me for taking it as a serious option. Yet,  I can't see why it shouldn't be possible to work out if your feelings and expectations meet up with the person you love.

 

I'm curious to hear about your opinions!

 

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I am in a LDR / online relationship right now, have been since November. It's hard and I'm not going to lie and say it's not. You have to trust each other and you have to be OK hardly ever seeing each other, if you live far enough away travel is really expensive. And, it could take  years, as in, 5+, to be able to live near each other in the end. But, you can absolutely fall in love and keep a relationship going through virtual means - especially with Skype, facetime, etc now :) I miss being able to hug and cuddle her when we're not together, but the Skype calls / texts are better than any RL dating experience I've had with other people, so I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

 

As for cheating/flirting, it doesn't even occur to me to worry about that with my partner. I've told her if she is interested in other people at any point, tell me and we can be friends, no hard feelings. But, I trust her. :)

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Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet

In my opinion, long distance/online romantic relationships aren't my thing.

I think romance has worth regardless if is RL or not.

I personally wouldn't be happy in a long distance/ online romantic relationship.

I'm glad your experience has been successful, though! :)

 

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TheCatBehind

I think they are as worth as you "regular" relationship. A little more new age, but still very much real and worthwhile.

 

I don't value in less or more, it's different, sure, but just as worth, I guess.

 

I'm a relationship virgin, I haven't had a relationship ever :s

 

If I ever met the person irl, then yes. I think I wouldn't be able to fully attach myself romantically to another being without meeting and a whole bunch of non-sexy touching. I'm a very sensual being.

 

I think so. Calls, texts, photos, snail mail maybe. I like to think I'd manage.

 

Cheating doesn't cross my mind cause I'm ace and I think, maybe, demiromantic so there's that. Flirting is alright until it doesn't go too far lol

 

I think you just have to have the right frame of mind. :D 

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Well, all of my relationships end badly and I've given up currently, but most of them were online relationships. I just didn't feel close enough to them, and I just didn't really feel like it was as valuable as an IRL relationship would be. However, I eventually realized even offline, people just weren't for me. So, I don't know if it was because they were online but I did not enjoy any of my relationships online, and it was always difficult because it felt kind of fake, as I could clearly type more to them online than I could ever talk to them IRL.

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J. van Deijck

been in one, he’s been cheating on me. not that awesome.

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How do I feel about it?

I will share a small part of my opinion, I prefer not to be hated for it.

I myself don't consider online dating to be a good idea to actually form relationships it's like a desperate reassurance system that can easily tear you down and doesn't always work unfortunately...  Well for my experience, at least.

 

Is it considered equal or less worth than RL bonds?

I don't know but I don't suggest it... And I don't see where is the affection in all of that.

 

Could you imagine staying happy and satisfied through either one of these two connections with your significant other in the long term (e.g. by using video / voice chat, text messages, phone calls  etc.)?  I had a lot of depression from it more the time passed.

 

What kind of experience did you have?

I will talk a very few about my online relationship. I am french, and the girl I loved was from America. I was like 14-15 at that time. We met in a RP and we were roleplaying 80-90% of the time and we were just texting.  And, that kind of relationship always gave me depression, I have already a lot of anxiety, so.  I think the best was to break up. I don't blame her or me, I don't even know what she felt about me. I think I did a mistake by starting a distance relationship.

 

Would you give it a serious try if possible?
I did it for about 2-3 years and I regret it.

I think it's better to start an internet relationship if the person lives close to you and not at the other part of the world.

 

How do you think about cheating or flirting?

Thinking about my girlfriend could do this gave me a lot of worry and stress.

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Confused.Kitten

Not up to online relationships ...

 

Long distance might be a lil though , but it's always worth it if you love him/her. My personal experience is just being away for 2/3 weeks...

My heart was heavy at first, but I got used to it . In the end, seeing him again was just heaven on earth

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Guest Invisible Pumpkin

"Is it considered equal or less worth than RL bonds?"

To their own each.  :P 

 

"What kind of experience did you have?"

I have never been in one, therefore I can only talk about  assumptions.  

 

 

 

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swirl_of_blue

I don't think I could start a relationship without meeting in person. In a relationship I am very physical and affectionate, and online that is not possible, so I would be missing the main thing that for me separates a friendship and a relationship! If I already had a partner and for some reason we had to live far away from each other I could probably take it, as long as I knew it was only temporary. I don't think long-distance romantic relationships are inferior to "normal" ones, but I don't think they are something I could be in. A strong friendship or possibly even a QPR would probably work, though.

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Well I'm not sure if I count but... I've been in a LDR for about two years, but we don't consider romantic. However it's definitely more than just a friendship and it has sexual and some romance-like elements so it kinda counts?

This is the only relationship like this I've ever had and she's also the best friend I've ever had so to me this has more worth than any sort of interaction I've had in real life even though I've only met her irl once. 

I think it works well for us, though we both feel like being together in real life was definitely better and like we would get into less arguments if we were talking in real life. 

I don't worry about cheating or flirting at all and neither does she. We're both very open with each other so we've agreed we would tell the other one if we liked someone new, but neither of us is either very social or in search of that kind of thing for it to be able to happen in the first place. Plus there's a possibility both of us are aromantic so we don't really care in general. 

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Grumpy Alien

I was just wondering how do you feel about (romantic) long-distance or online relationships?

I'm in a longterm LDR, trying to make it not LDR but oceans are too big and governments suck. We met online. Our relationship is no different than one where they met in person and/or live close by. 

 

Is it considered equal or less worth than RL bonds?

Depends on who you ask but it's becoming equal to more and more people. Meeting people online, even if not long distance, is becoming the norm.

 

What kind of experience did you have?

Excellent. Glad we took the risk.

 

Would you give it a serious try if possible?

I did!

 

Could you imagine staying happy and satisfied through either one of these two connections with your significant other in the long term (e.g. by using video / voice chat, text messages, phone calls  etc.)?

I am both, though it's not a forever thing. (Hopefully.) I would not be either if I thought we'd be long distance forever.

 

How do you think about cheating or flirting?

The same as any other relationship. It's never okay if you're in a relationship and do something romantic or sexual with someone outside of the relationship without your partner's explicit consent. That's just... no. Don't do that.

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I think they're as valid as any other kind of relationship. I definitely wouldn't laugh at anyone who was either in one or wanted to be in one.

 

If the people involved in any kind of relationship are happy, I think it's a good thing...whether they live with each other, only see each other now and again or just speak by text/Facetime/whatever, it's all great in my book!

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how do you feel about (romantic) long-distance or online relationships?

I adore it, and feel very comfortable with being in a LDR. Most of my relationships have been online, and I technically did only have one relationship in real life but I don't consider it to be a relationship due to how poor my experience with it was. I've had my fair share of both good and bad experiences, but I never had a moment where I just decided to never do it again because of it.

 

Is it considered equal or less worth than RL bonds?

Equal in my opinion. I've met some people who view online relationships as less, and have been in plenty while still dating their partner in real life. I don't particularly agree with that behavior, but to one's own, I suppose. ^_^

 

What kind of experience did you have?

Well, I've experienced being in love once, and then cheated on, used, betrayed, and lied to plenty of times. However, that never really changed my mind on long distance relationships. I'm a lot more closed up from people though. 

 

Would you give it a serious try if possible?

I have. 

 

Could you imagine staying happy and satisfied through either one of these two connections with your significant other in the long term (e.g. by using video / voice chat, text messages, phone calls  etc.)?

Yes ^^ I've worked with all of these at one point actually. Eventually we would need to be together in real life, but I've had a relationship where the person was sixteen hours ahead of me, and every moment of texting with him, even when I was dead tired, was well worth it.

 

How do you think about cheating or flirting?

The same way people think when it comes to real life relationships, it's just wrong. 

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I was just wondering how do you feel about (romantic) long-distance or online relationships?

I develop feelings easily online. IRL I tend to feel nervous.

 

Is it considered equal or less worth than RL bonds?

I have only had one relationship- online relationship. I have no RL relationship experience, but I think both would be equal. Its also possible I would become distant if the online relationship becomes real after closing the distance (because as pointed above I feel nervous). Regardless, I still aim for real life relationship where we are both living together.

 

What kind of experience did you have?

I will skip this question.

 

Would you give it a serious try if possible?

Yup. Absolutely.

 

Could you imagine staying happy and satisfied through either one of these two connections with your significant other in the long term (e.g. by using video / voice chat, text messages, phone calls  etc.)?

Depends on what you consider long term. I would like to close the distance be together eventually.

 

How do you think about cheating or flirting?

It has the same risk as RL dating. They cheated on me. I dunno if they flirted with others.

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arekathevampyre

does long distance / online friendships count ? 

 

If so , I think it is as worth as RL bonds or even more as sometimes I feel that if I see someone (irl) too much , I may get tired of it . But for some reason , online or ld relations are different to me . I feel that I can be more open to that person and maybe the old saying of "distance makes the heart grows fonder" is true .

 

from experience , it depends . I do have many friendships that turn sour or the other party giving up on me

. then again it will be awesome especially if the connection is deep and both parties connect well . 

I was able to communicate though there was a 12 hour time difference and it really helped me especially when my mood is crap or when something bad happens in the day . 

 

I will not do it again for now . But in future , maybe . Unsure for now . 

 

I am happy with the texting thing because I am super awkward in real life and my voice is just meh , so I prefer texting . Of course if there is a chance to meet in real life , it will be great or else , I am fine too . 

 

as it is just platonic , there is nothing to worry about this cheating or flirting thing unless I get implicated as a third party (if the person has a partner - which I need to make clear before we become friends) . 

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
8 hours ago, arekathevampyre said:

Does long distance / online friendships count ? 

Yes of course, although I was originally focusing on romantic bonds.

 

8 hours ago, arekathevampyre said:

I am happy with the texting thing because I am super awkward in real life and my voice is just meh , so I prefer texting . Of course if there is a chance to meet in real life , it will be great or else , I am fine too. I feel that I can be more open to that person and maybe the old saying of "distance makes the heart grows fonder" is true .

I think that's also one of the main reasons why I prefer online relationships over RL encounters. The thought of meeting foreign people on the street without any background information scares the crap out me. Plus low self-esteem caused by my physical and mental restrictions.

 

Quote

As it is just platonic , there is nothing to worry about this cheating or flirting thing

Totally agreed :D

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arekathevampyre
4 minutes ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

Yes of course, although I was originally focusing on romantic bonds.

 

I think that's also one of the main reasons why I prefer online relationships over RL encounters. The thought of meeting foreign people on the street without any background information scares the crap out me. Plus low self-esteem caused by my physical and mental restrictions.

 

Totally agreed :D

aww . same thoughts hahaha

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J. van Deijck

my voice is awful, too, but I believe that if you really love someone, you love them as a whole.

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
Just now, alpha decay said:

my voice is awful, too, but I believe that if you really love someone, you love them as a whole.

Of course but it's hard to find someone to really love you  for who you are inside but as just for what you look or sound like outside. That's the problem.

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J. van Deijck
1 minute ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

Of course but it's hard to find someone to really love you  for who you are inside but as just for what you look or sound like outside. That's the problem.

sadly, it seems so true in today's world :(

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arekathevampyre

agreeing with you guys omg .

will speech therapy help as my voice is damaged (kind of) by long term intubation ? going off topic here to be honest

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
4 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said:

agreeing with you guys omg .

will speech therapy help as my voice is damaged (kind of) by long term intubation ? going off topic here to be honest

Really? That's funny because it happened to me too. Not through long-term but emergence intubation at the age of 7 months. Never used speech therapy but people always wonder about my smoking or drinking habits *lol*

 

*Off topic closed*

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J. van Deijck

^ it should, if the therapist is good.

 

in the past, I used to think a lot about it all. would ever someone love the whole me? without being ashamed to hang out with a cybergoth? without being annoyed when I didn't understand what they said? without finding my voice awful? without having problems with my poor speech? etc. etc. 



not so many people would love another person unconditionally, it seems.

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arekathevampyre
22 minutes ago, Deus Ex Infinity said:

Really? That's funny because it happened to me too. Not through long-term but emergence intubation at the age of 7 months. Never used speech therapy but people always wonder about my smoking or drinking habits *lol*

 

*Off topic closed*

I have that when I was a new born for extended period of time . People are always asking about my voice , which annoy me . But since I am broke , I am gonna go without it . 

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J. van Deijck
4 minutes ago, Antihero. said:

I speak monotonously and apparently even sound somewhat mechanical and cold to some due to that fact.
Some people don’t like it, I don’t really care whether the lack of emphasis in my speech bugs them or not. Not gonna change anyway.  

Actually I think the substance of what is said is the important thing and not how it sounds, that's just trivial.
Except one is a singer or an actor, then it does matter a lot of course ;)

:D I guess I'd actually like your speech :P

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