fadingg Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Okay so after research and understanding myself, I feel I am Grey-A / asexual. I feel I need to talk to family/friends about this, however I am scared of telling them. I fear that they will think it's a 'phase', me seeking attention or me trying to be someone I'm not. I'm scared I'm going to be someone I'm not and I don't really accept myself as it seems 'abnormal' for me to feel like this about myself. Can anyone offer any tips? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 It's always hard to offer any useful advise since it's your own decision after alll but you should keep it mind that you must not tell anyone, if you think that they won't accept or understand you. You can try but don't expect too much. It's still your life and identity. No one must tell you what to think, feel or do. Sometimes it's just better to let it be and seek out for people who are willing to respect and accept you for who you are. Maybe you should spend some more time with us before making a final move, gathering different thoughts and views from other members here. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 Focus on being yourself before coming out. You're always welcome on aven! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
5amlight Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 it's great that you found out about your sexuality! maybe coming to terms with who you really are is what you should prioritize. i know that fear of being something you're not--you're considering yourself something that is not the norm, but it does not mean that it is not you. i, myself, have not come out yet to anyone other than my best friend who happens to be ace as well, but now i have settled with the thought of me being asexual a little more, i think i am ready to tell another of my friends. still not my parents. small steps. my point being, your vision of yourself impacts these decisions. i wish you the best of luck. (know that not everyone will understand/know what asexuality is. i hope that they'll understand, though, that this is not a phase or anything you mentioned.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fadingg Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 33 minutes ago, 5amlight said: it's great that you found out about your sexuality! maybe coming to terms with who you really are is what you should prioritize. i know that fear of being something you're not--you're considering yourself something that is not the norm, but it does not mean that it is not you. i, myself, have not come out yet to anyone other than my best friend who happens to be ace as well, but now i have settled with the thought of me being asexual a little more, i think i am ready to tell another of my friends. still not my parents. small steps. my point being, your vision of yourself impacts these decisions. i wish you the best of luck. (know that not everyone will understand/know what asexuality is. i hope that they'll understand, though, that this is not a phase or anything you mentioned.) how did you begin to accept yourself- if you don't mind me asking? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
5amlight Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 so to start off, this is very hard to explain. when i first thought i might be asexual i did lots of tests and quizzes on the internet and was very unsure about it because like, am i kidding myself. but i really related, though it didn't convince me that how i'm feeling is normal. to be very honest, signing up on this site and knowing that many others like me existed and went through the same--basically, the sense of having a community that feels the same instead of being along--made me accept myself more. and i can't really explain it. the first time i felt really connected to this community (and this is going to sound silly) was a few days after i found out about the ace ring (which is (mostly) black and usually worn on the right middle finger) and couldn't find a ring in my house to color black or just a black one. before me and my family went out to the movies, i found this black hairband. so i just grabbed it and put it around my finger (double) and... i can't really describe how i felt when i was outside. and it sounds so cheesy, but this changed how i felt about it. i'm not saying that this will apply to you, but it helped me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
5amlight Posted July 31, 2017 Share Posted July 31, 2017 2 minutes ago, 5amlight said: the first time i felt really connected to this community (and this is going to sound silly) was a few days after i found out about the ace ring (which is (mostly) black and usually worn on the right middle finger) and couldn't find a ring in my house to color black or just a black one. before me and my family went out to the movies, i found this black hairband. so i just grabbed it and put it around my finger (double) and... i can't really describe how i felt when i was outside. and it sounds so cheesy, but this changed how i felt about it. i'm not saying that this will apply to you, but it helped me. also, that same night i ordered a black ring because i loved how connected i felt and tbh i think it will look prettier than a hairband lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fadingg Posted July 31, 2017 Author Share Posted July 31, 2017 52 minutes ago, 5amlight said: so to start off, this is very hard to explain. when i first thought i might be asexual i did lots of tests and quizzes on the internet and was very unsure about it because like, am i kidding myself. but i really related, though it didn't convince me that how i'm feeling is normal. to be very honest, signing up on this site and knowing that many others like me existed and went through the same--basically, the sense of having a community that feels the same instead of being along--made me accept myself more. and i can't really explain it. the first time i felt really connected to this community (and this is going to sound silly) was a few days after i found out about the ace ring (which is (mostly) black and usually worn on the right middle finger) and couldn't find a ring in my house to color black or just a black one. before me and my family went out to the movies, i found this black hairband. so i just grabbed it and put it around my finger (double) and... i can't really describe how i felt when i was outside. and it sounds so cheesy, but this changed how i felt about it. i'm not saying that this will apply to you, but it helped me. none of that sounds stupid. thankyou, I'll try it and I'll be sure to try to talk to people more on here. thankyou so much for your help. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted August 1, 2017 Share Posted August 1, 2017 Because something is in the minority or the world doesn't give it attention doesn't mean it's abnormal. Come out if you feel comfortable but even if they say it's a phase...you're still a grey ace. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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