SkyTheLoner

Some things about romance in books and fanfiction I think are weird

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SkyTheLoner   
SkyTheLoner

Honestly, I find it weird how in(some) books there are 12/13 year olds falling in love, having their first kiss, being boyfriend and girlfriend, and then there's me: mid teens, in highschool, with no clue what romantic attraction feels like.

 

Well, I've thought I've had a crush before, but that was more like:

 

Me: lol, hey I like this random boy 1.6% more than other people, might be a crush. lol ok. *doesn't think about it again for 3 months, though even that thought is fleeting*

 

Also, why is that in some fanfiction Character A randomly kisses Character B, but lol, it's okay the crush was luckly mutual. Like, what if the feelings were one-sided?

 

I'm going to stop rambling now...

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rtlloyd98   
rtlloyd98

Let me expand on this... I used to find it funny when 2 people in my school broke up. They'd be upset and crying and I was like "You're 12-18 get over yourself. Make sure you pass your exams". Cold perhaps but very entertaining. 

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Deus Ex Infinity   
Deus Ex Infinity

Indeed. Most of that stuff is beyond weird.

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StormySky   
StormySky

It's exceptionally weird if it doesn't relate to the story. Stop making the characters kiss, author! The plot needs saving!

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Deus Ex Infinity   
Deus Ex Infinity

*nods* Best example ever!

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swirl_of_blue   
swirl_of_blue
26 minutes ago, SkyTheLoner said:

Also, why is that in some fanfiction Character A randomly kisses Character B, but lol, it's okay the crush was luckly mutual. Like, what if the feelings were one-sided?

My first boyfriend wrote stuff like this: two people have known for some time, one of them reveals their feelings and finds out the other person has also always liked them. Then they just immediately get married and start having children. I found his writing extremely creepy, childish and just unrealistic.

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Gloomy   
Gloomy

I think it's weird when a character just kisses another character too. If someone just decided to kiss me I'd be like "Um, what the fuck are you doing!?". Even if I wasn't an aromantic asexual, I still don't think I'd be okay with anyone and everyone kissing me. :blink:

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ShyFeather   
ShyFeather

*looks at my own fanfiction*

*hides it away*

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Toothlesss   
Toothlesss

*looks at what I'm currently writing* (hint- there's some Hiccstrid in it :o

Romance? What romance? :o  

(ok- I ship them myself because I feel they're written more realistically than 90% of what's out there ;) )   :)  

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Liebelit   
Liebelit

Eh... I've kinda done the impulsive kiss thing..? But I tend to put it in a context where both of the characters have expressed some sort of mutual attraction at some point and have been kind of dancing around each other but no one's made an actual move. So then in either an intense or mundane situation one of them snaps and just goes for it hoping that the other person will respond to it like they've been thinking they will. 

I guess it's still unrealistic and overly dramatic, especially from an asexual point of view, but what else is fanfiction for? XD

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Kelpie   
Kelpie
1 hour ago, SkyTheLoner said:

Also, why is that in some fanfiction Character A randomly kisses Character B, but lol, it's okay the crush was luckly mutual. Like, what if the feelings were one-sided?

I mean, it's fiction, so you kind of have this possibility eliminated? Also, you usually can some kind of feel if the other person wants it too. (Urgh, that sounds rapey, I don't mean it like that. But really, sometimes two people just look each other in the eye and they *know* what's happening and are on board with it.)

 

Also, a lot of people experience romantic attraction even very early in life. Of course the relationships aren't mature in any way but they still happen and are a legitimate thing in your development - if you're not aro of course. 

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rtlloyd98   
rtlloyd98
59 minutes ago, swirl_of_blue said:

My first boyfriend wrote stuff like this: two people have known for some time, one of them reveals their feelings and finds out the other person has also always liked them. Then they just immediately get married and start having children. I found his writing extremely creepy, childish and just unrealistic.

 

1 hour ago, SkyTheLoner said:

Honestly, I find it weird how in(some) books there are 12/13 year olds falling in love, having their first kiss, being boyfriend and girlfriend, and then there's me: mid teens, in highschool, with no clue what romantic attraction feels like.

 

Well, I've thought I've had a crush before, but that was more like:

 

Me: lol, hey I like this random boy 1.6% more than other people, might be a crush. lol ok. *doesn't think about it again for 3 month, though even that thought is fleeting*

 

Also, why is that in some fanfiction Character A randomly kisses Character B, but lol, it's okay the crush was luckly mutual. Like, what if the feelings were one-sided?

 

I'm going to stop rambling now...

Also I find the way people meet in books and films a bit... not real. Do you know how I met most of my friends in Uni? I meet somebody called Isaac coz the seat next to me was the only one left. My parents originally met my Dad's brother had a friend who brought her cousin who brought her friend along to a rugby match. That's how people meet. Chance. Not perving over the fit girl/boy at school until some cliché happens you fall in love. Just bs that.

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sithgirlix   
sithgirlix

I see that problem in fanfiction because of the non-serious-ness of it all.  It's generally short and you need to get to the point since most fanfic readers in my mind don't want to read a novel's worth of character development or chemistry build-up.  So sudden kisses which would be nonsensical in real life or longer works are just for the sake of the medium.

But in romance novels in general I see more connection, more development of the chemistry between them.  Not in say Romeo & Juliet which I find hilarious but depicts romance between two young teens (I think 14 years old).  Supposedly it's because romance at that age is fast but not very deep.  Like Romeo falling in "true love" every other week.  I don't know how romance worked when I was that young since I was shocked anyone was having relationships before age 15, and even at that age I thought it was all rather pointless.  I don't know many romance books depicting romance between 12/13 year olds as anything other than flings, so I thought they were true to real life but how would I know?

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sithgirlix   
sithgirlix
2 minutes ago, rtlloyd98 said:

 

Also I find the way people meet in books and films a bit... not real. Do you know how I met most of my friends in Uni? I meet somebody called Isaac coz the seat next to me was the only one left. My parents originally met my Dad's brother had a friend who brought her cousin who brought her friend along to a rugby match. That's how people meet. Chance. Not perving over the fit girl/boy at school until some cliché happens you fall in love. Just bs that.

How do they meet that's not real?  Just thinking about romance movies and books (haven't read/watched in a while) but from my memory most met by chance or their attraction developed over time.  Like in The Proposal where a guy falls in love with his boss after working for her for a while, My Big Fat Greek Wedding where she just sees him in a couple places and he remembers her albeit her being so attracted to him that she's a bumbling mess, or The Rescue where he saves her son in a bad storm.  How do people meet in what you read?  I think sure maybe one's attracted to the other at first at it eventually becomes mutual, but I mean that's how I met my bf.  We went to the same club and it took a while before either of us had the courage to speak to the other.

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SkyTheLoner   
SkyTheLoner

Also, why is in some fanfiction (one in particular *cough*) there's a character that's stressed/crying/grieving/has PTSD/whatever/was wounded/abused/ect., something serious that will take months to heal, but then then their love interest comes in and they kiss/make out and everything is okay? Like, they're emotional vulnerable, why would they do that?

 

And the other person usually just "sighs happily, feeling their worries become meaningless as their lips touch, and the burning of their wounds dulls despite the movement of turning to kiss their lover reopening the deep, long bleeding gash on their neck, causing blood to drip onto their entwined fingers." - or something akin to that.

 

And, dang, that paragraph above was, I think, my first attempt to write a kiss scene, even if it was a bit sarcastic. Very sarcastic, actually.

 

[Edit: Well, now that I think about, I've written kiss scenes before, though they were mostly simple "They kissed" type of kiss scenes with little detail.]

 

Actually, there is a fanfiction on AO3 that I like (there is a part at the end that made me cringe a bit though) because it's realistic:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6910030/chapters/15762172

It's a Steven Universe Amethyst/Peridot Human AU fanfiction with ace Amethyst.

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swirl_of_blue   
swirl_of_blue
7 minutes ago, sithgirlix said:

How do they meet that's not real?  Just thinking about romance movies and books (haven't read/watched in a while) but from my memory most met by chance or their attraction developed over time.  Like in The Proposal where a guy falls in love with his boss after working for her for a while, My Big Fat Greek Wedding where she just sees him in a couple places and he remembers her albeit her being so attracted to him that she's a bumbling mess, or The Rescue where he saves her son in a bad storm.  How do people meet in what you read?  I think sure maybe one's attracted to the other at first at it eventually becomes mutual, but I mean that's how I met my bf.  We went to the same club and it took a while before either of us had the courage to speak to the other.

I've been told that the reason I can't find a partner is that I'm not trying enough in the sense that I'm not actively looking. I've been told that these "chance encounters" that are so common in fiction generally do not happen, and that people need to go and meet others with the intention of getting a date, whether that would be meeting people at bars, going to singles groups or online dating. As a demiromantic I can't really do any of these, so if what I've been told is true I'm pretty much doomed.

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(D)anny   
(D)anny
4 hours ago, rtlloyd98 said:

Let me expand on this... I used to find it funny when 2 people in my school broke up. They'd be upset and crying and I was like "You're 12-18 get over yourself. Make sure you pass your exams". Cold perhaps but very entertaining. 

tbh i don't think their ages make their feelings any less important. i've suffered from feelings similar to those and they're not fun. they're not played up to be funny or dramatic. they're emotions that hurt and have had a negative effect on me and can negatively effect other people too. it's not easy to just get over something that's so important to you. I've been trying though, and finding that I don't really care as long as i have friends.

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fuzzipueo   
fuzzipueo
21 hours ago, sithgirlix said:
22 hours ago, rtlloyd98 said:

Also I find the way people meet in books and films a bit... not real. Do you know how I met most of my friends in Uni? I meet somebody called Isaac coz the seat next to me was the only one left. My parents originally met my Dad's brother had a friend who brought her cousin who brought her friend along to a rugby match. That's how people meet. Chance. Not perving over the fit girl/boy at school until some cliché happens you fall in love. Just bs that.

How do they meet that's not real?  Just thinking about romance movies and books (haven't read/watched in a while) but from my memory most met by chance or their attraction developed over time.  Like in The Proposal where a guy falls in love with his boss after working for her for a while, My Big Fat Greek Wedding where she just sees him in a couple places and he remembers her albeit her being so attracted to him that she's a bumbling mess, or The Rescue where he saves her son in a bad storm.  How do people meet in what you read?  I think sure maybe one's attracted to the other at first at it eventually becomes mutual, but I mean that's how I met my bf.  We went to the same club and it took a while before either of us had the courage to speak to the other.

I've seen this YA romance - and they are real tropes:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SingleGirlSeeksMostPopularGuy

 

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Sherlocks   
Sherlocks
On 7/30/2017 at 11:06 AM, SkyTheLoner said:

Honestly, I find it weird how in(some) books there are 12/13 year olds falling in love, having their first kiss, being boyfriend and girlfriend, and then there's me: mid teens, in highschool, with no clue what romantic attraction feels like.

 

Well, I've thought I've had a crush before, but that was more like:

 

Me: lol, hey I like this random boy 1.6% more than other people, might be a crush. lol ok. *doesn't think about it again for 3 months, though even that thought is fleeting*

 

Also, why is that in some fanfiction Character A randomly kisses Character B, but lol, it's okay the crush was luckly mutual. Like, what if the feelings were one-sided?

 

I'm going to stop rambling now...

So you are confused there are relationships that match the majority in fiction? How is that abnormal? Puberty for alot is 11-14 to start. 

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SomedayTheSky   
SomedayTheSky
On 7/30/2017 at 2:06 PM, SkyTheLoner said:

Also, why is that in some fanfiction Character A randomly kisses Character B, but lol, it's okay the crush was luckly mutual. Like, what if the feelings were one-sided?

I totally agree. It feels much more natural to have a character ask first or start with a slow/small kiss, casual touches, holding hands, etc. Asking doesn't need to be forced or unromantic if it's done right. And honestly, it's much better for the romantic tension. If the relationship rushes through all the milestones, the reader has nothing left to root for. I am a fan, however, of building up to a cinematic "big kiss" moment where the shippy subplot gets resolved with this huge unexpected romantic gesture. But if I am able to resolve the arc with one of these moments the characters' feelings have to be established.

 

I don't know, just my unprofessional opinion.

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SkyTheLoner   
SkyTheLoner
On 8/12/2017 at 10:28 PM, Sherlocks said:

So you are confused there are relationships that match the majority in fiction? How is that abnormal? Puberty for alot is 11-14 to start. 

Since I've never had a crush, I probably just find weird because I can't relate to feeling romance attraction towards anyone.

 

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waddiwasi   
waddiwasi
On 30.7.2017 at 9:59 PM, swirl_of_blue said:

I've been told that the reason I can't find a partner is that I'm not trying enough in the sense that I'm not actively looking. I've been told that these "chance encounters" that are so common in fiction generally do not happen, and that people need to go and meet others with the intention of getting a date, whether that would be meeting people at bars, going to singles groups or online dating. As a demiromantic I can't really do any of these, so if what I've been told is true I'm pretty much doomed.

Someone told me the exact opposite, funnily enough. She said that after she stopped actively looking, she suddenly got a boyfriend (who she met at uni). But I guess it helps if you meet a lot of new people - higher chance of "success"...

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Sherlocks   
Sherlocks
1 hour ago, SkyTheLoner said:

Since I've never had a crush, I probably just find weird because I can't relate to feeling romance attraction towards anyone.

 

Not everyone lacks that ability though. its not weird, its just not your thing.

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alpha decay   
alpha decay
On 30/07/2017 at 8:06 PM, SkyTheLoner said:

Honestly, I find it weird how in(some) books there are 12/13 year olds falling in love, having their first kiss, being boyfriend and girlfriend, and then there's me: mid teens, in highschool, with no clue what romantic attraction feels like.

you're not alone, I've never truly understood it either. and it's not only in books/movies/fiction in general. I've been seeing this irl, too.

turns out I do experience romantic attraction, but only after developing emotional bonds, and the first time it happened to me was when I was 25. so up to this time I thought I was aromantic because I also had no clue what romantic attraction feels like.

but the point for me is that the thing itself is quite strange to me, regardless of my actual romantic orientation. It feels strange to me how such young people have boyfriends or girlfriends at that age, and generally all these things. and even weirder to me is writing books about it.

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Shirkkaliisa   
Shirkkaliisa
On 30.7.2017 at 10:53 PM, SkyTheLoner said:

Also, why is in some fanfiction (one in particular *cough*) there's a character that's stressed/crying/grieving/has PTSD/whatever/was wounded/abused/ect., something serious that will take months to heal, but then then their love interest comes in and they kiss/make out and everything is okay? Like, they're emotional vulnerable, why would they do that?

 

And the other person usually just "sighs happily, feeling their worries become meaningless as their lips touch, and the burning of their wounds dulls despite the movement of turning to kiss their lover reopening the deep, long bleeding gash on their neck, causing blood to drip onto their entwined fingers." - or something akin to that.

 

 

 

okay this is really disturbing. Like when other is upset or having some sort of an anxiety attack? and then they just randomly have sex and everything is better? never understood that.

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sir octepus tea   
sir octepus tea

pretty much describes me, except I what I thought was romantic attraction is more wanting to get to know someone

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Linh Cinder   
Linh Cinder
On ‎7‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 0:38 PM, Kelpie said:

I mean, it's fiction, so you kind of have this possibility eliminated? Also, you usually can some kind of feel if the other person wants it too. (Urgh, that sounds rapey, I don't mean it like that. But really, sometimes two people just look each other in the eye and they *know* what's happening and are on board with it.)

It'd be nice to have a book or movie or something where Person A thinks Person B likes them, A kisses B, B doesn't like A and gets upset, and they don't end up together later in the story! So often in fiction, unrequited love is used as just the starting point for the romance (I love Newsies, but the antagonism between Jack and Katherine turning into romance was cliché, unnecessary, and distracting), but sometimes, people just aren't into you, and it doesn't matter how well they get to know you and like you as a friend. I'd like to see Person A misread Person B's body language or whatever, there's a really awkward situation, and then there's nothing more romantic or sexual between A and B for the rest of the story.

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