Am I a Demisexual? Please help.

[ParkerJay]

Hi, I am new here and am starting to explore the different labels to figure out what my sexuality is. I think demisexual, but am not 100% sure, so I would like to hear what you guys think.

 

My previous relationships always started as friends, progressed in a relationship, and then a sexual relationship. I was friends with my last boyfriend for 4 years before we decided to actually date and then after that it was 3 months into the relationship before sex. Throughout the friendship and early stages of dating, I didn’t have any desire/interest in any sex with him. Sex is not something that I think about at all until deep into a relationship even if I find the person physically attractive. It’s a turn-off when guys think it’s okay to start sexting/pushing sex on me and instantly lose all interest in the person. It makes me uncomfortable and I think it’s rude. HOWEVER, I think porn and self-satisfaction is perfectly fine. It’s something that I engage in often. I don’t have any interest in the actors themselves and rarely take the time to figure out who they are. I would consider myself straight as I only have interest in dating and being sexually active with men. However, I do find some women physically attractive. I don’t see myself ever dating a women or having any type of romantic relationships with one, but at least 50% of the porn I watch is focused on the women’s physical assets and her overall satisfaction. 

 

I’m not sure if it matters, but I am an introvert and prefer to spend a lot of quality time with 1 person rather than a large group. I don’t like large social environments or engaging with large groups of people. It makes me nervous! I enjoy solitude and don’t mind being alone. My alone time is my time to “recharge”. I'm also not an overly affectionate or touchy feely person. I don't mind hugs, kisses, holding hands, rubs ect. However, it's not something that I do with just anyone (I hope that makes sense).

 

So, yup... there it is. What do you guys think? Any input is greatly apprcaited. Thank you!

[Lucas Monteiro]

By the description you gave us, you really seems to be demisexual. For demisexuals, they need first a great connection/friendship and only after that they can think about a relationship with the person. According to the AVEN wiki, a demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone.

 

I strongly recommend you to look to this link to see if you fit more in this label : http://wiki.asexuality.org/Demisexual

 

Only you can give yourself a label or even no label at all, after all, is your choice. We are here to help you, to point out where you can find more about yourself.

 

56 minutes ago, ParkerJay said:

I’m not sure if it matters, but I am an introvert and prefer to spend a lot of quality time with 1 person rather than a large group. I don’t like large social environments or engaging with large groups of people. It makes me nervous! I enjoy solitude and don’t mind being alone. My alone time is my time to “recharge”. I'm also not an overly affectionate or

touchy feely person. I don't mind hugs, kisses, holding hands, rubs ect. However, it's not something that I do with just anyone (I hope that makes sense).

We are really equal in this part, I get nervous when I try to engage in large social environments I just can't handle, and prefer a good alone time to "recharge" if I go to those type of events. I don't care to kiss, hug, or even holding hands but that can be just to someone who I have more connection.