Any asexuals ever felt this?

[Stepernay]

Have you even like done something sexual and just felt sooo bad for it? Like when I was in m... 8th grade? Maybe summer going to the 8th my best friends brother fingered me kinda forcefully but I liked him so I thought it was normal or whatever for teens to do those things  and afterwards I felt SOOOO repulsed at myself and ashamed that I did such a thing. It made me so insecure and I felt like a hoe and everything. Has anybody else ever experienced this? Cause I don't wanna stay a virgin all my life like I wanna have children(even tho I'm scared to have sex lmao) but the way I feel after kissing and fingering makes me feel like such shit tbh

[Yep, me]

The point of sex is reproduction, so is there more to say? Idk. 😐

[Redshirt Jim]

20 minutes ago, Stepernay said:

Have you even like done something sexual and just felt sooo bad for it? Like when I was in m... 8th grade? Maybe summer going to the 8th my best friends brother fingered me kinda forcefully but I liked him so I thought it was normal or whatever for teens to do those things  and afterwards I felt SOOOO repulsed at myself and ashamed that I did such a thing. It made me so insecure and I felt like a hoe and everything. Has anybody else ever experienced this? Cause I don't wanna stay a virgin all my life like I wanna have children(even tho I'm scared to have sex lmao) but the way I feel after kissing and fingering makes me feel like such shit tbh

It seems you are sex repulsed, according to that event. Truthfully, I am sex positive, hence it is easier to blend in, as you might say. Actually, sex repulsion has nothing to do with asexuality. Other sexual orientation can experience repulsion towards sex. 

Sex isn't for everbody. Just like Deadpool isn't for everybody.

 

Best choice might be to:

Talk to your sex partner about your preference and slowly test your boundaries. Emphasis on slowly.

[athenahono]

1 hour ago, Stepernay said:

Have you even like done something sexual and just felt sooo bad for it? Like when I was in m... 8th grade? Maybe summer going to the 8th my best friends brother fingered me kinda forcefully but I liked him so I thought it was normal or whatever for teens to do those things  and afterwards I felt SOOOO repulsed at myself and ashamed that I did such a thing. It made me so insecure and I felt like a hoe and everything. Has anybody else ever experienced this? Cause I don't wanna stay a virgin all my life like I wanna have children(even tho I'm scared to have sex lmao) but the way I feel after kissing and fingering makes me feel like such shit tbh

My last relationship was awful. My ex coerced me into doing sexual acts (not full on sex) and I thought I had to or else he'd leave me. Those events have made me scared to let people I'm not close to outside my family touch me, sometimes not even my family if I'm overstimulated at the moment. So I totally get the feeling of not wanting that and feeling insecure.

 

Some of that feeling of repulsion may stem from the fact that he forced you somewhat, leaving bad memories and associations. You sound sex-repulsed and there's nothing wrong with that. I personally am sex-positive/sex-neutral. Here's some terms to help you understand that:

 

Sex-positive - so long as it is between consenting adults, sex-positive individuals don't think sex is an inherently bad thing for individual people and society in general, and might even be beneficial. Someone who believes that people should have as much or as little safe, consensual sex as they want. Sex is not a plague on society, it is part of it no matter what.
Sex-negative - people who believe that sex is an inherently negative thing for people and society, and sex leads more problems than solutions. Someone who believes that people shouldn't have sex, that it should be highly limited and removed from society as much as possible or even entirely.

Sex-favorable - people who find sex a pleasant/favorable activity even if they don't have any desire for it.

Sex-neutral/indifferent - people who are apathetic to the act of sex

Sex-averse - people who personally dislike sex or find the idea of them having sex revolting. They may talk about sex, but the idea of THEM doing those things makes them sick.
Sex-repulsed - the very thought or sight of sex makes them feel disgusted or sickened. Merely talking about sex can bring on these feelings of disgust. Someone who is repulsed or disgusted by the idea of themselves having sex or being in a sexual situation.

 

Remember, none of these have to do with sexual orientations. These are how people feel towards sex.

 

If you want to have kids, I'd recommend slowly bringing yourself out of that state if you feel comfortable with it, OR adopt if you can. One thing for sure is, make sure you talk with your partner and figure out boundaries and comfort level. 

[SkyWorld]

1 hour ago, athenahono said:

Sex-averse - people who personally dislike sex or find the idea of them having sex revolting. They may talk about sex, but the idea of THEM doing those things makes them sick.
Sex-repulsed - the very thought or sight of sex makes them feel disgusted or sickened. Merely talking about sex can bring on these feelings of disgust. Someone who is repulsed or disgusted by the idea of themselves having sex or being in a sexual situation.

Mmm I see several people have slightly different definitions for sex-averse and sex-repulsed, but it seems to be universally agreed upon that sex-repulsion is a more extreme version. However, everyone can experience the same thing differently, this can be applied to anything. This is a good reference thread displaying such.

 

Personally, I consider myself sex-positive, yet also sex-repulsed. The thought of me in a sexual way or act sometimes makes me feel nauseous, but will always make me cringe. Though I don't mind talking about it as if it's some kind of academic thing or something, but on a personal level, it makes me really uncomfortable and I'd rather not know. Sex jokes are an exception though, if they're actually funny.