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Feeling Agender?


QuirkyGeek

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So, I was wondering how it felt for agenders to be their given birth gender. Did you hate it, or just didn't really care? I'd like to understand how you felt being previously perceived as a different gender.

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Well, to me, being agender is a relatively private thing and while I don't do all kinds of feminine things I don't stand out too much. Unless I'm put next to very feminine girls. And as long as it doesn't put me into an uncomfortable position, I'm fine with being perceived as a girl or a woman or a tomboy or whatever.

 

The only time being perceived as a girl has felt uncomfortable or weird to me has been when all the other girls are really girly and I don't feel like I'm one of them, but then I'm not part of the boys either. This has happened in school in PE when girls were forced to dance or do aerobics while I'm horrible at those, and boys got to play football or something where you don't have to stand in front of a mirror trying to quickly learn a series of moves and watching everyone else figure it out just fine.

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For me being born male, I have never really felt manly or girly.  Being out on my own I have been able to grow out my hair and I apparently have a feminine face so when I shave some people mistake me as a female, plus I have an almost non existent adams apple.  Soon I will be transitioning, meaning I will be getting nullification surgery by a surgeon that usually does GRS.  Once I transition, I am sure I will still get identified as either a male or female, to which I will be ok with as long as they don't keep using those terms if I tell them I am agender and prefer different pronouns.  Most will still see male or female because thats what they expect and most know no different. I suppose the short explanation if they want one is "A am neither male or female, I am Me"

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I didn't like being called him, etc. but when I grew my hair long people called me she, etc(not kidding). Neither of these felt right, I entered a bit of a indentity crises and after a bunch of thinking I decided on they, etc. pronouns. I do personally wish to have a 'nuetral' body, but it would be to much of a compromise.😭

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arekathevampyre

I don't really care . what is interesting as an agender person is that I really have no feelings or thoughts about my (birth) gender . Again like the users above commented , as I am AFAB , being perceived as (your) birth gender sucks . Just because (you) should be a girl (like your look/name) then people will think that (you are) a girl . :( oh well . I still use female pronouns out of convenience and because I am kind of used to it (and the "they" pronouns is either difficult for others to use and don't exist in my mother tongue (mandarin chinese)) 

 

@Hattr how does nullification work ? Just curious 

 

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AVEN #1 fan
59 minutes ago, arekathevampyre said:

I don't really care . what is interesting as an agender person is that I really have no feelings or thoughts about my (birth) gender . Again like the users above commented , as I am AFAB , being perceived as (your) birth gender sucks . Just because (you) should be a girl (like your look/name) then people will think that (you are) a girl . :( oh well . I still use female pronouns out of convenience and because I am kind of used to it (and the "they" pronouns is either difficult for others to use and don't exist in my mother tongue (mandarin chinese)) 

 

@Hattr how does nullification work ? Just curious 

 

For nullification. .. depends on what you want , the majority of surgeons cut off the penis and testes and replace the urethra on amabs.

Some surgeons also remove the prostate,  seminal vesicles and cowper glands and vas deferens,  but it's really unlikely due bc the awful health risks.

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AVEN #1 fan

I identified as agender for a while , I just fitted a lot of gender boxes and I had no "internal sense" of gender Identity,  you guys know it , like when binary people or gendered people says there's a voice inside their head telling them they belong to a certain gender Identity box,  some agenders do too have that voice telling them they belong in the agender box,  other agenders don't have that voice telling them which gender Identity they are,  so simply they don't have an gender Identity anyway. Some agenders doesn't even believe in gender,  like blue is not a masculine color, it's a color, a dress is not a feminine wear, it's clothing. i think those agenders are exgenders/egenders who doesn't accept the existence of gendering.

 

Anyway, I have no desire to be perceived somehow by society or to fit inside any box,  I don't care rly.  and I thought that made me agender as a teen,  I was identified as librandrogyne bc my likeness towards androyny.

 

 

I think you can use agender when you only enjoy saying " i am person",  is what mostly makes you happy.

 

I think there's a lot of misunderstanding towards the agender umbrella.

Srly it's big, there's libragenders,  exgenders, igenders,  greygenders,  ungenders, neutrois, schrodigender.

 

 

And despite the popular belief , agender =/= neutrois, neutrois people are gendered , and it  is identifying with a nullo or unisex gender box.

while agender just means not fitting as gendered, however nothing stops you from being an unisex agender.

 

 

And as for me I just prefer to stay indefinite by now,  (I don't identify as agender anymore) , maybe I'm agender, maybe Im comgender/gendered,  I guess I'll never find out,  so the 2 possibilities are valid at the same time.

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arekathevampyre
24 minutes ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

For nullification. .. depends on what you want , the majority of surgeons cut off the penis and testes and replace the urethra on amabs.

Some surgeons also remove the prostate,  seminal vesicles and cowper glands and vas deferens,  but it's really unlikely due bc the awful health risks.

oh . yeah . health risks !! 

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AVEN #1 fan
Just now, arekathevampyre said:

oh . yeah . health risks !! 

Yeah. .. wearing diapers forever doesn't seem appealing.

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As a graygender, I find this very interesting. I've thought about how I could possibly agender, but I think I've still got a fraction of female in me. It was pretty cool to see what you guys felt as agenders since I sometimes wonder if I could be agender and just don't know it. This just helps me know that I'm graygender. I can relate to a lot of this, but not completely. Someday I might be agender as I feel more agender every day if that makes sense, but today I am a graygender. It's really cool to understand agenders! Thank you all for responding!

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arekathevampyre
5 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Yeah. .. wearing diapers forever doesn't seem appealing.

😵😧

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AVEN #1 fan
4 hours ago, QuirkyGeek said:

As a graygender, I find this very interesting. I've thought about how I could possibly agender, but I think I've still got a fraction of female in me. It was pretty cool to see what you guys felt as agenders since I sometimes wonder if I could be agender and just don't know it. This just helps me know that I'm graygender. I can relate to a lot of this, but not completely. Someday I might be agender as I feel more agender every day if that makes sense, but today I am a graygender. It's really cool to understand agenders! Thank you all for responding!

You can identify as both agender and graygender,  like you feel meh to the point you feel genderless.

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8 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

You can identify as both agender and graygender,  like you feel meh to the point you feel genderless.

Interesting. I'll keep that in mind.

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