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Discovery/Realization Stories


Kaikat

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You see the title. I'm curious, how did you guys come to find out you were aromantic??

 

Basically, I was sitting around at my house about a month ago and I was wondering, like, am I gonna have to get married at some point? Cause in my religion marriage is a big deal and stuff. So I get on my computer and search "Should I get married if I am aromantic?" At the time I probably meant "romance-repulsed" (which I mildly am), but I was like "Aromantic?? Meaning... not romantic." After a few minutes of browsing I was like "I should probably look up what 'aromantic' even means" and so search "am I aromantic?" A list from here pops up and I open it and start reading through and one of the first things is like, "When you discovered the concept of a “squish” suddenly a lot of things made more sense to you." So then I looked up the definition of a squish. It was, in fact, so eye-opening I was on my back in my bed silently screaming "IT'S A THING!! IT'S A THING!!" I continued on down the list and related to several more of the things listed. Then I sat and reflected on my entire life and decided, "Yep! I'm aromantic!"

 

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The term is a fairly recent discovery (in the past 3-4 years or so), but the concept has been with me since I was 15 when a then male friend announced that he wanted to get married after high school and I responded that I wanted to go to college. "I'll wait," says he and my response was to start avoiding him thereafter. For years, I wondered why a 15 year old boy would be contemplating marriage and why I found ways to avoid the question.

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I'd just discovered that I'm asexual, and looked through romantic orientations. I realized that the only crush I ever thought I'd had was actually a squish and that I've always been repulsed by romance. The thought of never dating also felt very comforting, and I've stuck with being aro-ace since :). So there's really no specific moment, just a lot of browsing through AVEN.

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Island-Of-Dogs

Getting caught up in an emotionally abusive relationship is how I came to realize that I was aromantic.

 

(Although I should note that I had felt the way I did about romance years beforehand, being in that relationship didn't change that. I simply didn't realize that Aromanticism and Asexuality were two totally different things. Blame a lack of education.)

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It was the easy part of figuring out I'm non-binary.

 

Basically, in researching that, I came across the term "aromantic." Something about it resonated/intrigued me enough for me to look into it, and as I was already doing some soul searching, I wound up thinking about all the crushes I had when I was a kid, which were always on friends that I wanted to have become best friends. Cue the realisation that these were squishes.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Apathetic Echidna

I only learnt of the term aromantic about a week ago but I (and my family) have known for a loooong time that I wasn't interested in romance or a romantic relationship with anyone. I think they may have hoped I would change after hitting puberty but that never happened (romantic attraction! puberty definitely happened)

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