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Out and proud?


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Hi

 

I am reasonably sure that I am asexual and I've told my closest relatives and family, but haven't told the wider world as it were. Most people assume I am heterosexual and just haven't met the right guy etc. 

 

Do I make a thing of coming out? On the one hand, I am a private person and I believe my love life (or lack thereof) is no-one's else business - plus, I really can't be bothered with having to defend my sexuality (if my well-meaning friends and family are anything to go by). On the other hand, I don't like lying  - even if it's by omission. I feel dishonest when people ask me if I am dating etc, I am just evasively mutter "not at the moment" or nod in agreement when someone mentions "Mr right being out there". 

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Try not to lie, but you don't have to tell them, you can say: " I'd rather not share that information with you(or something like that)." If you don't want to tell them.

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It's good to know that you've told some people that you are asexual. I can relate to your situation of lying to others at times and this is something you should not. I mean you should not lie to them, if you can tell them and you know they would understand then just say it to their face. Or you also have the option to tell them that you don't want to share this information with them or something. But lying is not the best option even if it seems like one, trust me.

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Thanks for the comments! Thinking just about my work colleagues, saying something like you don't want to share information is tantamount to encouraging gossip and catty comments (two people in our office try to pretend they are not in  a relationship, which just makes everyone talk about them even more - no one would actually care if they admitted it). But agree I could come up with something that's not outright saying I am asexual but does indicate that it's not something I want to discuss,. 

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Like you, I have told my closest friends and family. As far as co-workers, extended family, etc, my planned response to questions about when I'm going to date/get married is basically: "I've decided that the single life is for me. I'm not looking for a relationship"

That way I don't have to explain what asexuality is to someone I'm not close to and who doesn't really need to know the whole situation.

If the person is genuinely interested and asks interested questions in an open-minded manner, I'd probably discuss asexuality if I felt comfortable though.

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