Hi there

[Guest]

Hello everyone, I'm Lallie *waves*

 

Discovered this site a couple of days ago through an article I read. Just investigating my feelings really... I've had very intense 'crushes' on people, which I know is more about me wanting a knight in shining armour/attachment issues and I'm really glad I've got better with that. And as I've got better at not thinking about people like that, and just thinking of them as people, I've realised there's nothing I find particularly spectacular about the opposite sex anymore. I can look at someone and think they're good looking but I think I'm most attracted by a sense of humour and a nice smile. I've been trying to almost persuade myself that sex could be something safe and wonderful and desensitising myself to the idea over the last few years, but having discovered this site it's quite liberating to think, actually, I don't have to do that! I'm a little bit confused about the difference between attraction/appreciation and sexual attraction. I've never looked at someone and thought 'I want to have sex with you', but do people actually do that? Lots of unanswered questions, looking forward to learning more.

[Member5732]

Hi Lallie, welcome to AVEN. Have a cake! 

 

Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things. Go through the forums and I hope you find the answers you're looking for. And this community is very liberal and friendly and I hope you have good time in here.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

Welcome to AVEN! Enjoy your stay!

[iff]

Welcome to AVEN Thank you for joining and sharing your experience.  

We're happy to have you on the forums

 

Now, for some more helpful information about the site, in addition to my welcome (and cake):

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here.  The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 

 

[Acebow]

HI!!! I too have very intense crushes on people lol and was surprised when I finally realized that I'd never really thought of any of these crushes in a sexual way. Welcome to Aven!!

[Guest]

Thank you so much for the warm welcome everyone! And the cake 

 

When I found this forum, I felt straight away how warm and friendly it was and I'm so happy to be getting to know this little community. See you around! x

[Guest]

On 25/07/2017 at 5:12 AM, Acebow said:

HI!!! I too have very intense crushes on people lol and was surprised when I finally realized that I'd never really thought of any of these crushes in a sexual way. Welcome to Aven!!

I think this is what I'm starting to realise too. It's a strange one to get your head around. Someone else described it as like a disney romance feeling and I think that's a great way to put it too. I've been noticing this week the difference in how I feel about people and relationships once I take the 'expectation' of sex out of the equation and all of a sudden I feel so much better, and not like I'm not good enough, or can't give people what they need. Much more at home with myself. There's a lot of freedom in that!