Another confused person

[araujoleo97]

Hi everyone. I'm new around here

As the title said, I'm really confused right now about my feelings, thoughts and certainties, and searching in Google I found out this forum. So here I'll try to put in words what I feel and what I'm thinking recently. I hope you guys understand and give me your opinion/advices or just share with me what you think.

 

For a long time, since my childhood and adolescence, I've been tagged as being gay or effeminate for not showing so much interest in typically masculine things like football, walking in gangs, or being virile enough. In my teens I realized that I did not have as much sexual interest as the people around me. While my friends were always talking about the girls they made up or wanted to , or even about their sexual activities, I was even somewhat terrified about it. After all, I just gave my first tongue kiss at age 18 and never fucked. By the way, I'm 20 now.
It's not that I don't feel like having sex, but it's that whenever I have some degree of intimacy with a girl I can have a relationship with, I feel suffocated and I end up with everything. I feel like kissing or caressing is not something natural to me. I never know the right moment that I should kiss a girl many less the art of flirting.
I see lots of pretty, interesting and even sexually attractive girls, but it seems I don't feel like it enough to create intimacy, and less to get into an intimate relationship.
Would that be lack of interest due to asexuality or lack of attitude at all?
In fact, I get excited seeing erotic scenes and pornography (after all, I think this is a biological issue), but I feel that I don't have the intense desire to seek such stimuli with other people.
I masturbate often, but I notice that there is no erotic background while I masturbate, I don't watch pornography, and I don't think about anyone. It's just me enjoying the sensation at that moment, without fantasies.
I'm afraid to label myself as asexual, when in fact I can only be introverted / repressed.
PS: My family is conservative and religious. This factor makes me more confused if what I feel (or what I do not feel) is something intrinsic to me or influenced by the environment in which I live.

[Redshirt Jim]

1 hour ago, araujoleo97 said:

Hi everyone. I'm new around here

Welcome  :))))

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As the title said, I'm really confused right now about my feelings, thoughts and certainties, and searching in Google I found out this forum. So here I'll try to put in words what I feel and what I'm thinking recently. I hope you guys understand and give me your opinion/advices or just share with me what you think.

 

For a long time, since my childhood and adolescence, I've been tagged as being gay or effeminate for not showing so much interest in typically masculine things like football, walking in gangs, or being virile enough.

You will not have it here. We love you no matter what you like. I can like Legally Blonde 2 and Legally Blonde Musical and Deadpool at the same time. Also Vivica Black Magic. Vivica is fierceeee :))))

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In my teens I realized that I did not have as much sexual interest as the people around me. While my friends were always talking about the girls they made up or wanted to , or even about their sexual activities, I was even somewhat terrified about it. After all, I just gave my first tongue kiss at age 18 and never fucked. By the way, I'm 20 now.

Good for you We choose about how our relationship goes. It's legit no matter what. 

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It's not that I don't feel like having sex, but it's that whenever I have some degree of intimacy with a girl I can have a relationship with, I feel suffocated and I end up with everything. I feel like kissing or caressing is not something natural to me. I never know the right moment that I should kiss a girl many less the art of flirting.
I see lots of pretty, interesting and even sexually attractive girls, but it seems I don't feel like it enough to create intimacy, and less to get into an intimate relationship.
Would that be lack of interest due to asexuality or lack of attitude at all?

Depends. There is platonic, romantic. There is sexual and sensual. So really, this is the place to ask and discuss rationally about what you're looking for in a relationship. 

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In fact, I get excited seeing erotic scenes and pornography (after all, I think this is a biological issue), but I feel that I don't have the intense desire to seek such stimuli with other people.

We all have kinks. I watch porn too It doesnt affect asexuality. :)))

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I masturbate often, but I notice that there is no erotic background while I masturbate, I don't watch pornography, and I don't think about anyone. It's just me enjoying the sensation at that moment, without fantasies.

You might be asexual. Check more for info. 

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I'm afraid to label myself as asexual, when in fact I can only be introverted / repressed.

Nah. You decide it yourself. Even if you are not asexual, you're still welcome here. Choose what you identify with.

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PS: My family is conservative and religious. This factor makes me more confused if what I feel (or what I do not feel) is something intrinsic to me or influenced by the environment in which I live.

Yeah...I feel you buddy. It's hard sometimes to differentiate that. Don't worry though. You'll get through it. It is possible. 

 

Live Long and Prosper. 

[Laplace]

I understand that sort of feeling of cluelessness when it comes to being intimate, even with family and relatives. I'm a 23 guy and I've never kissed, had sex, or even held hands romantically with someone cause I just find it out of character for myself. I'm kinda a naturally serious person. I never quite feel right when I expressing affection beyond a brief hug or pat on the back. Never mind that I don't understand flirting until long after the fact (if I recognize it at all). That suffocating feeling is also something I kinda understand. I don't like the idea of being beholden to someone's expectations, and the thought of having to commit the majority of my time to one person makes me anxious. My parents are also divorced which doesn't help wth my impressions of intimate relationships.

 

Finding out who you are may take a while but hopefully browsing the site will help you come to some sort of conclusion.

🙂👍

[araujoleo97]

Thanks guys. You've helped me to see that I'm not the only one who felt like this. I'll keep on searching here to find out other people like me.