sonyaw Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 Before I start, I just want to say that this is all over the place and I'm not sure if theres anything about this already. I'm 14 and I'm not exactly sure if I'm asexual or just a 'late bloomer'. I also don't know if I'm an aromatic asexual or a heteroromantic asexual. At this point, a lot of my friends have had crushes and they talk about whether someone is 'hot' or 'cute'. I do find people aesthetically attractive but not I've never felt sexually or romantically attractive. I'm not exactly sure if I'd ever want to cuddle or kiss anyone, but I do know that I want to marry someone one day and maybe have biological kids. I don't think I'd ever want to have sex, though. I'm also aware that I am young to be thinking about this but it has been on my mind for 2 years. I have gotten aroused before but it was just from reading something a few years ago. I also make sexual jokes quite often but I get uncomfortable when someone asks me if I've had a crush. Thank you in advance for reading this and for possibly helping and sorry for the grammar, as I'm typing on my phone. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 It's fine. I'd say to like try out the label, see if it works for you or not. Also, keep in mind that sexual arousal, sexual attraction and sexual desire are 3 different separated but related realms of sexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
danvers Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 You're young, so it is possible that you're just a "late bloomer," but it's also possible that you're truly ace. Either way is fine. If you want to identify as ace, go for it! You can always drop the ace label later if it turns out not to fit. Also, I'm really impressed you're thinking about this at 14! I first heard of asexuality as an orientation in high school, but I didn't really think about what it meant or consider that I might be ace until college, so way to go! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Donatsu Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 2 hours ago, Linh Cinder said: Also, I'm really impressed you're thinking about this at 14! I first heard of asexuality as an orientation in high school, but I didn't really think about what it meant or consider that I might be ace until college, so way to go! I'm impressed that you heard about asexuality as an orientation in high school!!! I wasn't even taught about homosexuality, let alone asexuality, and this was only a few years ago that I was last in health class - it's good to see that there are some more educated parts of the world, hopefully that will spread to where I'm from In response to your question sonyaw, I can relate to parts of your story, so you're not alone I was 15 when I began to identify as asexual. Something began to click with me when I read more into the meaning and definition - I was like you in that I'd experienced sexual arousal but never sexual attraction, and it took me to actually read up about asexuality to realize that there was a part of the whole sexual thing that others were experiencing that I just didn't (doens't mean that you're necessarily the same, but that's how it happened for me, and I still identify as ace a few years down the track). I didn't have doubts that I was heteroromantic, as I'd had numerous crushes in the past, so I can't really be of much advice in that area. As others have said, you can try the term and change later on, not label yourself, decide your a late bloomer - any is fine, and you're not too young to be able to understand your own sexuality If you were to identify as ace now and don't 2, 5, 10 years down the track, your identity now wouldn't be any less valid - sexuality is a fluid thing and doesn't necessarily remain static over the course of someone's life! There's no need to feel limited in what you can and can't feel based on your identity at the time, either - you don't even have to give yourself a label if you don't want to, or if nothing feels right. Anyways there's my preaching session over - hopefully that was a little bit helpful 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Scooty Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I'm 22 and just now figuring out I'm Asexual/Gray-Asexual. With sexual orientation, you have the rest of your life to figure it out! it's not a race it sounds like you're on the right track though. Listen to your intuition and what YOU want, not what other people assume or pressure onto you. And just like FranciumSenpai said, those are three different things! It's a spectrum! it's not usually 100% Asexual or 100% Sexual! you can fall anywhere, and there are plenty of subcategories to lose track of. Take your time and enjoy the journey! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
danvers Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 6 hours ago, Donatsu said: I'm impressed that you heard about asexuality as an orientation in high school!!! I wasn't even taught about homosexuality, let alone asexuality, and this was only a few years ago that I was last in health class - it's good to see that there are some more educated parts of the world, hopefully that will spread to where I'm from It wasn't actually in class; one of my friends mentioned she was ace (I think aro spectrum, too, but it was a while ago, and we haven't talked much lately, so I'm not sure), and I said something along the lines of "Okay" and didn't think about it again. So now I wish I had paid more attention and asked her more about it; I might have started figuring myself out a lot sooner! Asexuality was also mentioned as an orientation in a YouTube video I'm pretty sure I saw for the first time when I was in high school, but it was one brief mention in a video about different sexualities in general, so I'm not surprised I didn't pay attention to that one. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 12 hours ago, sonyaw said: I'm 14 and I'm not exactly sure if I'm asexual or just a 'late bloomer'. As others have already given good advice, I'd like to add just one thing: even at 16, I wouldn't call you "late" OK, two things... more cake! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 What kind? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
doggalogga Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 It doesn't matter what 'kind' of asexual you are. It's a label. A label can help you make better sense of yourself. However, it can also get in the way of you just being yourself. I don't think 'labels' are important. I've questioned whether I'm romantic or aromantic looked at all those labels that others identify as, but I just get confused and think it's too bloody complicated. The label doesn't change who I am or what I ultimate want, or don't want. I identify as asexual. That's it. I would like a nice lady to share a life with. Watching crappy TV shows, snuggling up together, and caring deeply for each other. Is that romantic or aromantic or heroteromantic or flibbity-jibs with a side of sour cream? I don't care, because I know what I want. The label is only a label. It is not a definition. What will define you is your choices and actions. You've still got plenty to make and you'll realise what fits you best. You're in control 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
StormySky Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 You've got your whole life to find out who you are. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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