Chayse Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 A common worry that I and many other asexuals have are if there valid at a young age. Ever since 5th grade I've been questioning my asexuality and I've been comfortable identifying as an ace flux for several years now but now as a teen we're everyone is getting super sexual and are attracted to people physically I clearly don't want to take apart in all this sexual stuff ,but my mom really is disappointed that I'm not a sexual person. She keeps bringing up about how she was a late bloomer and I got those "oh your too young" "your too pretty to be asexual" "but sex is so fun!" All from my mom when I came out to her, it was really disheartening to hear that coming from my own mom, I'm not repulsed by sex I do occasionally get turned on by things but I never would want to do sexual things with another person and I think seeing sex in movies or hearing it discussed is just bazaar to me how people like to do that with another person and well, Just being asexual at a young age is tearing at me from within, if I were sexual it would probably be more solid for me for my family because when my sister came out as bi they were like "oh good for you it's okay I love you!" But when I said I was asexual they were like "oh you'll grow out of it" or a snappy "No your not!!" "Too young!!" Etc etc.. how do I deal with this 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Was here Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 21 minutes ago, Chayse said: A common worry that I and many other asexuals have are if there valid at a young age. Ever since 5th grade I've been questioning my asexuality and I've been comfortable identifying as an ace flux for several years now but now as a teen we're everyone is getting super sexual and are attracted to people physically I clearly don't want to take apart in all this sexual stuff ,but my mom really is disappointed that I'm not a sexual person. She keeps bringing up about how she was a late bloomer and I got those "oh your too young" "your too pretty to be asexual" "but sex is so fun!" All from my mom when I came out to her, it was really disheartening to hear that coming from my own mom, I'm not repulsed by sex I do occasionally get turned on by things but I never would want to do sexual things with another person and I think seeing sex in movies or hearing it discussed is just bazaar to me how people like to do that with another person and well, Just being asexual at a young age is tearing at me from within, if I were sexual it would probably be more solid for me for my family because when my sister came out as bi they were like "oh good for you it's okay I love you!" But when I said I was asexual they were like "oh you'll grow out of it" or a snappy "No your not!!" "Too young!!" Etc etc.. how do I deal with this ew at the thing i bolded above.. Maybe just ignore what your mom says and just be who you are. If she can't accept that, that's her problem. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yep, me Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 If you have never felt sexual attraction, then you're asexual(does it even matter if it's a phase? The answer is no)and there's no denying that. Tell them that, and if they don't respect you, bring the 'hammer' down. Remember you always have us, and if they say terrible things then you can turn to us. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SkyWorld Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 It really can hurt when people say such comments, I've had people tell me the same things. Personally, I just try not to take it to heart. As well as come to realize that whether or not I'll "grow out of it" is not a big deal. If I'm still asexual in the future, that's fine. If I come to find out otherwise, that's fine too. Though right now (and 3 years identifying as such since finding out about asexuality), I feel very confident identifying as such. Though, even then it's okay to not be so confident and still be questioning. Point is, whatever happens happens and the outcome will be okay regardless. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
roland.o Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 When your mom keeps bringing up that kind of stuff, you can point out - without getting angry or emotional - that she's not being supportive, and that you are very sorry sad that you cannot talk to her about your (a)sexuality because of it. Maybe that will get her thinking. Meanwhile, find other people with whom you can talk about it, when you feel like it. Supportive people. Unlike family, you can choose your friends ;-) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kai99 Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 11 hours ago, Chayse said: A common worry that I and many other asexuals have are if there valid at a young age. Ever since 5th grade I've been questioning my asexuality and I've been comfortable identifying as an ace flux for several years now but now as a teen we're everyone is getting super sexual and are attracted to people physically I clearly don't want to take apart in all this sexual stuff ,but my mom really is disappointed that I'm not a sexual person. She keeps bringing up about how she was a late bloomer and I got those "oh your too young" "your too pretty to be asexual" "but sex is so fun!" All from my mom when I came out to her, it was really disheartening to hear that coming from my own mom, I'm not repulsed by sex I do occasionally get turned on by things but I never would want to do sexual things with another person and I think seeing sex in movies or hearing it discussed is just bazaar to me how people like to do that with another person and well, Just being asexual at a young age is tearing at me from within, if I were sexual it would probably be more solid for me for my family because when my sister came out as bi they were like "oh good for you it's okay I love you!" But when I said I was asexual they were like "oh you'll grow out of it" or a snappy "No your not!!" "Too young!!" Etc etc.. how do I deal with this If you don't mind answering this, how old are you? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
njosnavelin Posted July 22, 2017 Share Posted July 22, 2017 You don't need your parents validation for your asexuality. You did it yourself by discovering this is who you are. I would always remain open on the possibility my asexuality / sexuality might change over time. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EggplantWitch Posted July 23, 2017 Share Posted July 23, 2017 I don't have any advice, since I'm still stuck in more or less the same situation. I tried to come out to my mum once when I was 16 and once when I was 17 and she laughed at me both times. I'm 20 now and I haven't tried again, though since her reasons for disbelieving me included that I hadn't gone to uni and met boys like me and I now have maybe she will. In my experience, it was better to just try and pretend I'd never said anything, and since she never brought it up again it hasn't been too hard. Do I wish that she believed me? Of course. But whether she belives or not doesn't affect my sexuality or how I experience it. At the end of the day, no one else's opinion on your sexuality really matters. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 Parents treat their children like children because that's what they are, their children. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
everywhere and nowhere Posted July 25, 2017 Share Posted July 25, 2017 At least you can have that triumphant feeling later. I started declaring that "I won't have children when I grow up" and "I will never marry" when I was 5-6 years old. Here even I will say: but of course nobody treated it seriously at that point. Now I'm 36 years old, never-married, voluntarily childless, without any sexual experiences. (For comparison: I have no siblings, but I have a few cousins here in Warsaw and some others further away, all of the ones living in Warsaw are younger than me, all are in relationships, some of them have children.) And who was right all the time? Who was sure about her feelings at a very early age?... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The_Reluctant_Dragon Posted August 6, 2017 Share Posted August 6, 2017 I get these comments a lot too. That's because I'm only in the 8th Grade. Just tell them that, you might be too young, but, that is how you are going to identify now since it is what your most comfortable with. Just tell them you might be gay or straight or whatever when your older, but now you are asexual, it is who you are now, even if it might change in the future. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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