Random ace questions

[mori child]

Hey, this is just a compilation of questions I've been wondering about at odd moments. Mostly derived from a "I'm this way, but are other people like that?" kind of curiosity. Sorry if any of the questions are confusing or badly worded! I tried to make it somewhat clear!

[SkyWorld]

I'm not able to answer #3, the answer isn't listed as an option. I just don't... Never have...

[mori child]

4 minutes ago, SkyWorld said:

I'm not able to answer #3, the answer isn't listed as an option. I just don't... Never have...

Thank you -- I fixed it!

[bound dust]

On number 5 I clicked I have another opinion, and here it is. I personally don't care what a persons cloths, or lack there of are. Although I would never wear anything revealing myself, and sometimes depending on the situation such things do make me uncomfortable. But I think people should be able to wear whatever they want without judgement, (of coarse I do understand why people aren't allowed to walk around naked everywhere).

 

I just wanted to add that on question 6 I clicked agape, because none of the others fit me. Also, because although I wouldn't say that I actually love strangers and such I do care deeply about the welfare of others and nature, it is one of the things in my life I care the most about.

[sgtcactus]

For #5, I really couldn't care less about the level of clothing you wear. Walk down the street naked if that's what you feel like doing. It's just body parts. 

[QuirkyGeek]

I answered with the assumption that when things like crush were mentioned, it meant sexual?

[Grumpy Alien]

On 7/22/2017 at 1:15 AM, brōkn sōl said:

On number 5 I clicked I have another opinion, and here it is. I personally don't care what a persons cloths, or lack there of are. Although I would never wear anything revealing myself, and sometimes depending on the situation such things do make me uncomfortable. But I think people should be able to wear whatever they want without judgement, (of coarse I do understand why people aren't allowed to walk around naked everywhere).

Agree

[Grumpy Alien]

On 7/22/2017 at 10:08 PM, QuirkyGeek said:

I answered with the assumption that when things like crush were mentioned, it meant sexual?

Crushes aren't inherently sexual

[QuirkyGeek]

11 hours ago, Graceful said:

Crushes aren't inherently sexual

I know. I was confused with whether or not when crush was stated, if it was romantic or sexual. As in both or either.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

1.  Or if I just like their personality
2.  0 (95% sure = 95% sure I'm Aro)
3.  (I'll elaborate) Sometimes I read sexual novels/manga and get aroused but there are specifics to what would have this affect. Physical stimuli, sure. When actually masturbating, most of the time.
4.  More frequently since realising I'm Ace because before I didn't want to think about it whereas now it has no meaning/discomfort so I don't mind daydreaming, but I never include myself in what I think about.
5.  What's wrong with nudity? I don't need to see naked people but everyone should feel free to be as naked or as covered up as they wish, we're all human afterall. I love being naked and feel most comfortable without restrictive clothing, nothing sexual about it.
6.  Philia, affectionate friendship love. I feel this by far the most noticably. I'm unsure if I've frankly ever felt other kinds. Maybe Agape, universal love (I'm a hippie afterall).
7.  I love nature, animals and my friends the most.
8.  95% sure I'm Ace (5% grey ace?), 95% sure I'm Aro (5% grey aro)

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 23/07/2017 at 2:48 AM, sgtcactus said:

For #5, I really couldn't care less about the level of clothing you wear. Walk down the street naked if that's what you feel like doing. It's just body parts. 

Preach!

[Diamond Ace of Hearts]

So, are we saying that liking someone's personality is different to attraction? 'cos romantic attraction kind of mostly comes from liking someone's personality, doesn't it?

[Snao Cone]

Haha, I'm probably being super cocky by assuming 13+ people have had crushes on me. But I take "crushes" to apply to a fairly wide range. Basically, people interested in a relationship with me for reasons just beyond wanting to try out any relationship.

[BionicPi]

I have never found anyone attractive, at least not consciously.

[QuirkyGeek]

There might actually be more people whom had a crush on me, but I can't really say for sure unless someone has stated that someone has a crush on me.

[Velvet Crowe]

1: I was a creature with the capacity for infinite jealousy; I think I was attracted to the few people I've been attracted because I wanted to be them. They either had their life in order, they looked great and had an incredibly fun life as far as I could tell or they had some other little quality I envied. 

As I've grown older and fixed various parts of my life, well... green isn't quite my colour any more. It's taken a while to get here and I've further still to go, but I'm doing better. I don't so desperately want to be someone else now.

 

5: Revealing clothing's fine but I wouldn't wear it myself. Nudity however, be it my own or someone else's, is a little gross. I'd really rather not think about it!

 

 

[Famethyst]

Although I sometimes get aroused by my specific kink, often I just get horny by doing something boring/tedious (like reading a textbook), then I may or may not take care of said urges by thinking about my kink.

 

I'm totally okay with nudity (partial or full) on a social level. I believe the taboo of nudity is kind of arbitrary in that it is a product of society. Society says it is "inappropriate," but there is nothing inherently inappropriate about it, and had we all grown up surrounded by it no one would bat an eye at a naked body. However, as an ace and a product of this society, I think people are more aesthetically pleasing with clothes on, so I prefer to see less nudity myself.

[Pramana]

The concept of agape (universal altruistic love) fits with my ethical theory.

[J. van Deijck]

1. Sometimes I can’t tell if I find someone attractive or if: a) I just like their outfit, b) I just like their personality, c) I just want to be their friend.

I tend to find people who have certain styles attractive (you know, goths, cybergoths, rivetheads etc.). I've never felt influenced by conventional beauty standards - moreover, I mostly find them ugly or at least unappealing to my personal tastes.

2. The number of people I am fairly sure have had crushes on / been in love with me: I stated 4-5, because this is the number that has been actually confirmed. might be more, though.

3. The following are true for me: I can only become aroused by my specific kink. (cybergoth outfits at most, it seems :P)

4. I think about sex: about the same. which means, I've never been thinking about it much

5. My feelings about nudity and revealing clothing: when they reveal too much, I feel uncomfortable. nakedness also makes me uncomfortable, and I rather wouldn't reveal too much of my own body, too. sure people are free to wear whatever they want (also nothing at all if they wish), just please, not when I look at you. I really don't need to see it.

6. Right now, I identify the most with the following kind of love: Philia. I tend to be pretty affectionate. 

7. I would say that the majority of the affection I feel goes to: my romantic partner, of course. :3 but then also to my friends and pets.

8. This is how sure I feel about my sexual and romantic orientations: totally sure of one, unsure of the other. I'm sure about my romantic orientation (demi-homoromantic), but not entirely sure about sexual (probably grey ace, since I seem to experience sexual attraction, but very rarely and only to specific people), and I'm not interested in actually having sex at all. I seem to be slightly conflicted, too. 

[Elden]

1. I've often felt a strong attraction when looking at men in expensive suits. It confused me at first, because I wasn't sure whether the attraction was aesthetic, romantic, or something else. Turns out it was just suit envy, and seeing them in other clothes did nothing for me at all. I have a powerful aesthetic attraction to suits I can't afford to wear myself.

2. As far as I know, 2-3. Those are the ones who've told me, anyway.

3. I am all about the fictional characters. Real people are far too real.

4. I don't like thinking about sex, and identifying as ace has stopped me feeling like I ought to.

5. I find revealing outfits and nudity uncomfortable, both for myself and to look at.

6. Philia.

7. My family, including the pets. Quite a lot goes to my best friend, too.

8. I'm finally pretty sure of my sexual and romantic orientations.

 

[binary suns]

1. I put "other" - I feel that all the things described, technically speaking, are attraction, as attraction can define "an attraction" being something which draw attention, or "attractive" being a description of such a thing; and further "attraction" in the use we'd use it as an experience one has is defined as "the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something." --- But also I should note that, personally, I define some of the attraction experiences I feel, as one as "romantic" one as "sexual" and one as "aesthetic" and these go beyond what is listed in this question, and I am over 80% accurate in predicting which one I'm feeling within seconds of feeling it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ it just feels different idk what to say. I can attest that my affection for someone is different if I'm romantically to them, sexually attracted, or if it is platonic affection. but this is when I feel affection, not attraction, and I'd say they are linked but different things.
2. I've had 4-5 crushes.
3. used to be different, but now I actually rarely feel arousal, ever since HRT. This might change later in my life tho. If I'm romantically attracted to someone I'm sexually attracted to, the romantic interest boosts the sexual interest and it's very easy to feel aroused around them under various circumstances. I assume that'll continue to be true if it happens again. Also, I can often find kissing someone I'm sexually attracted to arousing. again I assume this pattern will continue to be true, but can't attest to it at current times xD
4. thinking about my identity often for the past 3 years increased how often I'd think of sex. in specifically referring to sexual fantasies, except for the fact that thinking about sex subtly increased my libido, identifying as ace (or what I now identify as, grey) had very little effect on my sexual fantasies. As I said before tho, I no longer at current have sexual fantasies or arousal very much at all.
5. I actually prefer being less dressed, and always have. During times of body dysphoria I was not so pleased about it, but my emotional health has stablized more lately..
6. Agape. I've always known that I only understand love to be something which I feel universally - or well, I know it is something that I could feel universally - but if I am irritated or similar by a person, that negativity... dwarfs it? it doesn't go away but i "feel it" less strongly. like if a stronger sound comes to dwarf another sound - you know it's there and you can try to focus on it, but it's a lot harder to. similarly, if I am paying attention to something I'll notice the feeling of love more readily. But - I never understand why people care so much about love- it doesn't change for me at all - only whether or not I notice it. To me, telling someone I love them is predominantly a signal of trust, and secondly of affection - trust for trusting them to be comfortable with them in this way, and affectionate in that I often enjoy noticing how I love them. but, the intensity of the feeling itself does not change for anyone.
7. my interests. but this is only a pattern of habit tbh. I could be affectionate towards anything really. Somethings I wouldn't tho 'cause it's kinda weird to be affection towards strongly negative things
8. I was very unsure of it all for the first year of being here, was more sure but still not quite confident (and not quite accurate) for the second, but this third (and now fourth I believe??) year I'm very confident in identying my orientation. there's a chance new information can come lateron in life, as currently I'm not involved in romantic or sexual interests at all.

[carbomb]

1. Other. I've only ever maybe had a crush on this one girl. Like I've known her for almost five years and I still can't freaking figure out if I like her and it makes me want to scream.

2. 1

3. I only get aroused by actually masturbating.

4. Way more frequently.

5. I don't enjoy being nude / wearing revealing clothing myself, but I couldn't give less of a shit about what anyone else wears (unless they're my friend and I want to make fun of their clothes).

6. Philia

7. Friends

8. Totally sure of my sexual orientation, not sure of my romantic orientation.

[Antihero.]

1. Sometimes I can’t tell if I find someone attractive or if:
I can easily tell when I find someone aesthetically attractive.
And I could definitely tell the few times in which I felt physically attracted towards someone, not that I wanted to act on it or anything.
But it gets tricky for me to tell with anything more personal that involves emotions because a) I have the emotional capacity of a pebble stone and b) I often can’t even tell what those few  things I feel are except from anger, I know that one quite well.
2. The number of people I am fairly sure have had crushes on / been in love with me:
How am I supposed to know what others feel or think about me when they don’t tell me? It’s impossible; I am not a mind reader. So I’ll only count those who made it clear to me in one way or the other and that would be four dudes and one chick then. I am not sure whether acquaintances who expressed (in face to face situations) that they would have liked to have sex with me count or not but if they did that would be + three more dudes, hilariously blunt ones xD
3. The following are true for me:
I can get aroused by visualising certain scenarios. I can get aroused "better" by visual materials that show similar scenarios. However both always only feature fictional characters.
4. I think about sex:
Same amount of time and it is relatively frequently. I have to confess having a dirty/sexual mind but everyone loves the guy with the dirty jokes and sexual innuendos am I right ;P
5. My feelings about nudity and revealing clothing:
Everyone knows that revealing clothes and showing skin is the absolute evil, we should force everyone into wearing a bin liner äähm I mean a burka/niqab.* sarcasm*
Nah, in all seriousness now, I couldn’t give any less of a shit about people wearing revealing clothes.
As for nudity, I personally don’t like to be in the nudes, it makes me feel so... naked but if other people like running around naked in the privacy of their own homes or at places where it is allowed to go completely naked good for them, I don’t care.
6. Right now, I identify the most with the following kind of love (as defined by the ancient Greeks https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love)
Philautia comes the closest to my current state. I trust in myself, I stand for myself and I fight for myself! I have no alliances at the moment. 
Philia would be the kind of love that I personally would deem worth achieving someday in the future though, maybe I even will or I won’t, who knows.
7. I would say that the majority of the affection I feel goes to:
Parents, grandpa, friends, dogs, interests. I don’t have a clue who or what gets the majority of it, how do you even measure that? Plus, I also am not good in expressing and transporting affection but I think people I care about know that I care about them.
8. This is how sure I feel about my sexual and romantic orientations:
I’m 100% certain of being gay.
I’m quite sure that I am grey ace with demisexual/demiromantic tendencies as well but I wouldn’t call it a solid 100%.

[Ulty]

My opinion on nudity is more so from an artistic standpoint. We use nude models to draw for anatomy reasons and it's more to appreciate the form and being able to analyze the body better without clothes on.

 

However,

If it is not in an art studio setting. Then no. No likey. Awkward. Just no.

[ThatHuman]

3... I'm not sure what counts as arousal and what counts as paranoia...

 

Most of my experiences are in fact my anxiety and fears -

I honestly don't know the difference...

[iff]

@mori child

 

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