Gldlynch Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Hey Aven, Long time no see. I'm stuck in a sticky mess and I need a lil help. Earlier this year I opened up to some people about being asexual, things ran pretty smoothly. I followed-up by explaining that I am hetero-romantic... but I kind of lied... I'm actually biromantic. I figured that I was asexual by noticing that I have romantic (non-sexual) feelings occasionally towards girls. Long story short, I had the intention of openly stating I'm bi ace but I chickened out, how should I fix this? I feel stupid that I couldn't say it the first go... Help me pls 😅 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Can you just tell them the truth now and maybe explain why you chickened out before? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BionicPi Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Alternatively, a lot of people go through several labels when figuring themselves out, and you could say you've just figured yourself out better. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 You don't need to do anything if you don't want to...and there's no need to feel stupid or bad about it. I understand "coming out" can be difficult/awkward, so it was pretty cool that you felt comfortable enough with these people to tell them you're asexual in the first place. If you feel happy telling these people you identify as biromantic (I notice you said everything went pretty well last time), go for it. If any awkward questions come up, you either be honest and tell them you felt nervous/awkward about fully opening up last time or just tell them you've been doing some more soul searching and feel happier identifying as biromantic. Or you can just not mention anything at all to them. It's your life and your business..they don't have to know anything you don't want them to know. I hope whatever you do goes great...I'm sure everything will be fine! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
apatrickwsu Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Hi, I think if you feel being incomplete with what you said is weighing you down or stressing you Daveb is right. Also remember that you don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDP Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Why use labels at all? i don't. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Elderflower Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 3 minutes ago, asexjoe said: Why use labels at all? i don't. I ID on this forum but nowhere else. Why do you have to tell anyone about your sexuality or lack thereof unless it becomes relevant? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDP Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 If someone wants to get to know me as a person, I'm an open book. I've lost a lot of sleep about asexuality but I am what I am. I could go crazy trying to identify myself beyond asexual, but I'd rather spend my energy making connections to others similar to me. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IntellectualAsexual Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 As long as you are asexual it probably doesn't actually matter. It's not like a pregnancy will occur or something. They are only concerned and it only matters if you impose yourself on another organism. Asexuals don't really need to do that. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Goddess Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 8 hours ago, Gldlynch said: Hey Aven, Long time no see. I'm stuck in a sticky mess and I need a lil help. Earlier this year I opened up to some people about being asexual, things ran pretty smoothly. I followed-up by explaining that I am hetero-romantic... but I kind of lied... I'm actually biromantic. I figured that I was asexual by noticing that I have romantic, but no sexual feelings, occasionally towards girls. Long story short, I had the intention of openly stating I'm bi ace but I chickened out, how should I fix this? I feel stupid that I couldn't say it the first go... Help me pls 😅 It's unnecessary to explain your sexuality to anyone, Relax & have a good time socializing with men & women. Friends come in many forms. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Goddess Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 13 hours ago, asexjoe said: If someone wants to get to know me as a person, I'm an open book. I've lost a lot of sleep about asexuality but I am what I am. I could go crazy trying to identify myself beyond asexual, but I'd rather spend my energy making connections to others similar to me. Hey...Asexjoe, I had no idea there are so many sub-categories for asexuals when I joined a month ago. It'makes my head spin, I am here to learn about this entire culture. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDP Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 7 hours ago, Ageless Goddess said: Hey...Asexjoe, I had no idea there are so many sub-categories for asexuals when I joined a month ago. It'makes my head spin, I am here to learn about this entire culture. I'm not sure it's a culture. No one seems to agree on anything here. Everyone is fixated on "identity," beyond simply being asexual. I'm just waiting to be kicked out. Until then I'm a friend to the friendless. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
deltaX Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 I think what other posters have said is true, if you do not want to explain yourself further, than you don't have to. Your sexuality and romantic orientation is your business, and you shouldn't feel obligated to tell anyone unless you want to. However, if you do want to tell everyone (and it sounds like you do), my advice would be to just state that you figured out you're more comfortable identifying as biromantic now. A lot of people spend change labels when they're first figuring themselves out, so my guess is that most people who are accepting of asexuality will understand a change of labels as well. I wouldn't make too big a deal out of it, because it's not a big deal. Good luck 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Goddess Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 16 hours ago, asexjoe said: I'm not sure it's a culture. No one seems to agree on anything here. Everyone is fixated on "identity," beyond simply being asexual. I'm just waiting to be kicked out. Until then I'm a friend to the friendless. Hi, In my mind, when there are groups I consider it a culture. An example might be when we were growing up, we were influenced by our biological family. The family had rules of how we are to be, what to think, perhaps who they would like for us to be. That is considered our tribe of origination which then is a culture. What do you mean by " I'm just waiting to be kicked out?" What might some of your interest be? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDP Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 7 hours ago, Ageless Goddess said: Hi, In my mind, when there are groups I consider it a culture. An example might be when we were growing up, we were influenced by our biological family. The family had rules of how we are to be, what to think, perhaps who they would like for us to be. That is considered our tribe of origination which then is a culture. What do you mean by " I'm just waiting to be kicked out?" What might some of your interest be? It's not about my interests. There are extremely few people here that can relate to me, and I'm sure I'll eventually run afoul of the moderators here, without even trying. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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