whoonearthknows Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 if you dont hate the gender you are perceived to be (female) but at the same time dont feel like you are 100% that gender and disslike some of the words used such as woman and girl but are ok with her and she, but also 100% dont want to be the oposite (male) where dose that really leave you? especially if you dont have any type of body dysphoria/ hatred etc over how you look. xxx I wrote a big long more detailed post but didn't quite have the balls to share it yet as i know i wont be able to delete it and dont know if im quite ready for that Link to post Share on other sites
999papercranes Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 You don't have to have dysphoria to be trans/nonbinary Some stupid gatekeepers in the trans community may say otherwise, but that just fits into concept of the Oppression Olympics which is no-no. Saying your validity has to be determined by the amount of hatred you have for your body is pretty dumb. Comfort with certain pronouns doesn't dictate your gender, either! Nonbinary people can use typically "binary" pronouns. If you don't feel like a girl or a guy, congrats- you're nonbinary. I hope this helped, and I wish you the best of luck in your journey! Link to post Share on other sites
BionicPi Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 28 minutes ago, whoonearthknows said: if you dont hate the gender you are perceived to be (female) but at the same time dont feel like you are 100% that gender and disslike some of the words used such as woman and girl but are ok with her and she, but also 100% dont want to be the oposite (male) where dose that really leave you? especially if you dont have any type of body dysphoria/ hatred etc over how you look. You don't really need dysphoria to identify as NB! I can't stand the idea of being a 'man' or a 'woman', but I've never really cared about pronouns. You do you. Link to post Share on other sites
whoonearthknows Posted July 19, 2017 Author Share Posted July 19, 2017 4 minutes ago, 999papercranes said: You don't have to have dysphoria to be trans/nonbinary Some stupid gatekeepers in the trans community may say otherwise, but that just fits into concept of the Oppression Olympics which is no-no. Saying your validity has to be determined by the amount of hatred you have for your body is pretty dumb. Comfort with certain pronouns doesn't dictate your gender, either! Nonbinary people can use typically "binary" pronouns. If you don't feel like a girl or a guy, congrats- you're nonbinary. I hope this helped, and I wish you the best of luck in your journey! Thank you for your reply. I have just bin looking down a big long list of genders and there meanings and a lot seem to be fairly similar and where reading the meanings i feel myself in a bit of all of the below Agender androgonyous bigender nonbinary other But the one that really stuck out to me was Gender Nonconforming, because I feel like i am just that, I dont conform to other peoples stereotypes or views of who how and what i should be as a "feamle", Actually got a little excited reading the description on it because it felt like such a click, Like yes that is exactly me for me i wish there was no such thing as labels for he, she, man, woman, gay, straight etc etc I wish it could just be like hey im steve, alex, sam etc etc and you just be you without labels. I feel like labels are just there to make every one else around you more comfortable with who you are . like why should it matter if i have a penis or a vagina, if i wear dresses or trousers, if i like men or women, if i enjoy male things or female things (the fact that male vs female things is even a thing is so bloody wrong) none of these things affect the fact that i am actually a really nice person, they dont affect who i am o how i act as a human being, one dose not make me more careing than the other or something to that effect lord am i having a midlife crisis or something lol Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 12 minutes ago, whoonearthknows said: lord am i having a midlife crisis or something lol Probably more like an identity crisis Honestly, gender can get so nebulous and abstract at times that it's totally normally for the questioning to get confusing and intense pretty quick. Especially with nonbinary identity. I actually said "fuck it" in regards to figuring out internal sense of gender and really based my identity on my relationship with my physical body. (Still took me several years to admit that I needed transition.) That's just me though, and I know that doesn't work for everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
luuny Posted July 19, 2017 Share Posted July 19, 2017 Lol yeah gender at this point is like that for me too. I like being non-binary because it feels like I have more freedom physically, socially, as well as emotionally. After experiencing that, it's like ppl are unintentionally trapping themselves by really buying into that "because I'm this gender I must do that" mentality. Not everyone is like that, but it's something that ppl can really fall into. Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 18 hours ago, 999papercranes said: You don't have to have dysphoria to be trans/nonbinary Some stupid gatekeepers in the trans community may say otherwise, but that just fits into concept of the Oppression Olympics which is no-no. Saying your validity has to be determined by the amount of hatred you have for your body is pretty dumb. Mmm, I have to take issue with this. Maybe it's just the phrasing and not the content itself. Sure you don't have to have dysphoria, but I think most trans people do, whether they realize it or not. Those "stupid gatekeepers" are there to make sure people who might just be experimenting around don't do any serious permanent damage to themselves. Dysphoria isn't about hating your body, or parts of it at all. That's way oversimplified. Dysphoria is the feeling of unease and discomfort (sometimes severe) with the fact that your body doesn't match up to what your brain expects and needs. It's pretty serious when you think about it. Nobody would say that there is some arbitrary and universal level of dysphoria you need to be trans. If it's enough to prompt you to do something about it, it's enough. Finally, even if people don't need dysphoria to be trans, they need to realize that by identifying as trans, they are entering into a realm where people do have dysphoria, and it does seriously impact their lives. So they should enter that space with respect. 19 hours ago, whoonearthknows said: if you dont hate the gender you are perceived to be (female) but at the same time dont feel like you are 100% that gender and disslike some of the words used such as woman and girl but are ok with her and she, but also 100% dont want to be the oposite (male) where dose that really leave you? especially if you dont have any type of body dysphoria/ hatred etc over how you look. In my personal non-binding opinion? It makes you cis. Very few people are 100% any gender. I'm not 100% female. I'm not 100% comfortable with every single piece of it. Nobody is. It's what gives humans such variety. Heck, I know guys who are more feminine than me...they're still cis. You're still totally cool to have people use a different name for you, or different pronouns, or dress differently, or present differently, and none of those things make you trans necessarily. This is why many people still try to say you need dysphoria to be trans. It's not some party they're trying to keep you out of, "no dysphoria, nah, you're not getting in here." It sucks. It sucks like hell. If you don't have dysphoria, feel grateful for that. If you do, well, I hope you're able to get help for it somehow. I hope this all makes sense and doesn't come off wrong. As someone for whom dysphoria has a pretty severe impact, I get nervous when it's hand-waved away as, "eh, just this thing that doesn't really matter". It does matter. For a lot of trans people, it's all that matters. Also, consider the following...I don't want to identify as trans. I'm just a woman. I'm female. Trans is a label placed on me, not one I've chosen myself. Link to post Share on other sites
999papercranes Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 8 hours ago, Hadley167 said: Mmm, I have to take issue with this. Maybe it's just the phrasing and not the content itself. Sure you don't have to have dysphoria, but I think most trans people do, whether they realize it or not. Those "stupid gatekeepers" are there to make sure people who might just be experimenting around don't do any serious permanent damage to themselves. Dysphoria isn't about hating your body, or parts of it at all. That's way oversimplified. Dysphoria is the feeling of unease and discomfort (sometimes severe) with the fact that your body doesn't match up to what your brain expects and needs. It's pretty serious when you think about it. Nobody would say that there is some arbitrary and universal level of dysphoria you need to be trans. If it's enough to prompt you to do something about it, it's enough. Finally, even if people don't need dysphoria to be trans, they need to realize that by identifying as trans, they are entering into a realm where people do have dysphoria, and it does seriously impact their lives. So they should enter that space with respect. I'm sorry if I came off as disrespectful to people who experience dysphoria, especially to a severe extent. Myself, I do experience dysphoria. I'm uncomfortable with my body and I don't think I'll ever be happy because I don't want to go on T and the idea of top surgery is very scary even if it is appealing. The idea of being seen as a girl makes me grimace. I just think that there are some people who can feel themselves as genderless, or that they are female or male without experiencing serious dysphoria. I've met quite a few agender folks who don't experience dysphoria, and people invalidate their identities because of that. I do realize that identifying as trans isn't a trivial thing, and I'm sorry if I came off in that way Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted July 20, 2017 Share Posted July 20, 2017 11 minutes ago, 999papercranes said: I'm sorry if I came off as disrespectful to people who experience dysphoria, especially to a severe extent. Myself, I do experience dysphoria. I'm uncomfortable with my body and I don't think I'll ever be happy because I don't want to go on T and the idea of top surgery is very scary even if it is appealing. The idea of being seen as a girl makes me grimace. I just think that there are some people who can feel themselves as genderless, or that they are female or male without experiencing serious dysphoria. I've met quite a few agender folks who don't experience dysphoria, and people invalidate their identities because of that. I do realize that identifying as trans isn't a trivial thing, and I'm sorry if I came off in that way No, not at all. That's why I said maybe it was just the phrasing. I wish there was a better understanding of dysphoria both in and out of the trans discussions. From my perspective, if you're not experiencing dysphoria, how do you even know you're trans? That's just me and how I see it though. Because dysphoria is so present for me. Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 On 07/19/2017 at 11:44 AM, whoonearthknows said: if you dont hate the gender you are perceived to be (female) but at the same time dont feel like you are 100% that gender and disslike some of the words used such as woman and girl but are ok with her and she, but also 100% dont want to be the oposite (male) where dose that really leave you? especially if you dont have any type of body dysphoria/ hatred etc over how you look. xxx I wrote a big long more detailed post but didn't quite have the balls to share it yet as i know i wont be able to delete it and dont know if im quite ready for that You have 2 options : Be a gender non conforming man or woman Accept you're nb Link to post Share on other sites
howtobegeek Posted October 25, 2017 Share Posted October 25, 2017 Hello whooneartknows, I was reading your post and damn that's exactly how I feel! Atm I'm figuring out a lot of stuff and you just showed me that there are other people like me who don't hate being called she but still don't really identify as a girl. I myself was considering the labels androgyne demigirl bigender gender non-conforming non-binary and genderqueer. I think I really like genderqueer and non-binary, but I'm not really ready to chose one. But anyway, it's nice seeing someone like me is nice. 😘🍰 Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 Have the recent influx of necroposts been due to Halloween? Raising the dead and all? Link to post Share on other sites
999papercranes Posted October 26, 2017 Share Posted October 26, 2017 13 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said: Have the recent influx of necroposts been due to Halloween? Raising the dead and all? I don't know but I feel like they're mocking me My opinions- and how I've identified- have changed a lot since these things I've written in July and such. Link to post Share on other sites
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