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'Transitioning' naturally? + Voice Change + Reading + General Trans Tips?


Just Me!

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I don't want to do hormones or surgery: they're expensive, potentially regrettable, and I don't have any physical dysphoria- I just want to present differently, not necessarily be different. But I would like to transition naturally, if it's possible. Has anyone got any experience or guidance regarding this?

 

I'd like to present as androgynous. I don't think it would take too much more- I was born F but have a great range of masculine clothing, and my face isn't overwhelmingly feminine. My hair's long and I'd like to keep it that way. My appearance doesn't need too much work, I suppose. But my mannerisms do. It seems that if I can just get my voice to sound masculine, I'll have a pretty good balance. (Unfortunately, I don't have much of an idea on how to change my voice).

 

Please, if anyone has any FtM (or FtA) tips to pass on, that'd be great. I feel like I'm almost there in terms of presentation now- but I've never been read as male.

 

Which leads into my last question- how does one work out what they're being read as? I don't meet many new people, and I can't exactly ask randoms on the street. People I'm out to will be biased. I got a decent Pictriev score (70% masc) but that's hardly accurate, and can't reflect mannerisms, general appearance, et cetera.

 

Any help much appreciated.

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Hi, I'm not exactly transitioning naturally since I do want hormones and surgery but I don't have any of that yet and I present fully as male so I guess I might be able to at least tell you about my experience. 

Though I don't know how much I'd be able to help because it's not like I've done much either... Even before figuring out I wasn't cis and starting to actually purposely present in a more masculine way I had been read as male a few times, but people always seemed to go back on it after a second look at me, even if I didn't "correct" them. So let's see what I started doing differently so I'd be consistently read as male...

 

I stopped wearing any clothes made for girls, so you have that down if you have a lot men's clothes. I cut my androgynous shaggy hair to a shorter traditionally male style, and this really helped for me and seemed to tip the balance from getting seen as male some or most of the time to getting seen as male practically all the time as far as I could tell. If you want to keep your hair long then I guess you could look at some guys who have long hair and see how they might style it differently than women with long hair? 

 

When it comes to mannerisms I don't think I changed much consciously... I still talk with my hands and walk the same way but those weren't feminine ways to begin with so I don't know what to say there. Other than maybe your mannerisms might adjust on their own to a less feminine level without you even trying to do anything once your appearance is more like what you want. I say this because I've noticed that if I'm wearing something kinda feminine on my hands like a ring or nail polish they'll move differently than if I just have a watch and unpainted short nails. So who knows? When you walk I think it's more importantly to walk in a way that feels comfortable to you than to try to masc it up, but just don't sway your hips and it should be fine. And even then I've seen some guys who sway their hips when they walk. There's also the usual stuff like crossing your legs at ankle to knee instead of knee to knee, not closing your legs when you sit, not hunching your shoulders or making yourself smaller too much.

 

But yeah, just do what you want and what feels okay to you. 

 

About the voice... My voice is "deep"/ not high pitched enough to pass but the only thing close to voice training I've done is trying to sing songs in a deeper voice if the singer is female and trying to match the pitch and tone as much as I can if the singer is male. There's some videos for voice training excersices on youtube but I think that something that helped me more, when it comes to how I think about my voice and how to masculinize it, than watching those videos was learning that what makes a voice masculine or feminine goes way beyond the pitch. I read some article (can't remember the name or link or anything sorry) where a trans person listed all the aspects of voice and speech that she had changed to make her voice more feminine and it included even word choices. So yeah, there's a lot of stuff going on with voices... I guess something you could do is listen your voice and try to identify the things you dislike or the things that make it sound more feminine than you're okay with, and then try to change that. Listen to how other people talk. Try to identify what makes their voice come across as feminine or masculine and hen try to avoid what you don't want and imitate what you do want. 

 

Now finally, how to know if you're being read as male... Well it might be slightly different for me since I live in a Spanish speaking country and often if you go and buy something or get some service done or whatever the cashier will say something like "chico" (equivalent of guy) or "chica" (equivalent of girl) depending on where you are. Or they'll say the words for ma'am or sir. Anyway I don't know how often that happens in other places but I guess just go out and do something where you have to be in front of someone who's going to be looking at you and telling you something, the food options, how much something costs, whatever, and eventually someone will probably use a gendered word like that. Though I guess if you look so androgynous that they can't read you as either male or female then they probably wouldn't say anything.

One time a food lady did tell me that she couldn't tell though haha. But yeah just hang out with people and you'll notice what they see you as sooner or later.

 

Other ways are if you meet new people and introduce yourself by a masculine name, if they're reading you as female they might react to that in some way. And this might be another cultural thing but watch how people greet each other and say goodbye. From what I've noticed at my uni at least, when people part ways a girl and a girl will air kiss, a guy and a girl will air kiss, but a guy and a guy will do a casual handshake gesture. Also if you're hanging out in a semi large group of people someone might talk about you in third person at some point and then you can see what pronouns they use for you. But overall just observe how the poeple around you treat men and women and then see how they treat you and that might give you an idea.

 

Sorry this is so long but I hope at least some of it can help and be of use to you. Good luck.

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1 hour ago, Liebelit said:

About the voice... My voice is "deep"/ not high pitched enough to pass but the only thing close to voice training I've done is trying to sing songs in a deeper voice if the singer is female and trying to match the pitch and tone as much as I can if the singer is male. There's some videos for voice training excersices on youtube but I think that something that helped me more, when it comes to how I think about my voice and how to masculinize it, than watching those videos was learning that what makes a voice masculine or feminine goes way beyond the pitch.

I've had success lowering my speaking voice by using singing as a sort of voice therapy.

 

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Calligraphette_Coe
19 hours ago, Just Me, Myself and...Zie? said:

I don't want to do hormones or surgery: they're expensive, potentially regrettable, and I don't have any physical dysphoria- I just want to present differently, not necessarily be different. But I would like to transition naturally, if it's possible. Has anyone got any experience or guidance regarding this?

You did say 'anyone', so even though I'm kinda AMAB, nature must have been running a little of her own experiments when she turned me loose. I'm not going to be doing HRT or surgery in this lifetime because of medical problems, so Androgynous is where I live. (And it's not always the best gig to be in when you live in a world that runs on gender difference to fascillitate procreation, and forays afield of that can produce some unexpected and sometimes dangerous reactions. Not to mention that you might find yourself permanently alone.)

 

One of the best ways to get started is to study drawing. Knowing exactly how males and females differ head on and in profile when rendered on a 2D surface, i.e. with paper and pencil, helps you to progress towards the middle in your experiments in that best-of-all laboratories, 3D life. Those experiments are run with YOU as the lab rat in that scary lab, and while some of the reactions are scary, some are amazing and downright wonderful. Get to know what causes negatives and positives. Or more importantly, cosmic shrugs. (Sometimes you won't register on peoples' gender mapping radar at all, and that's when you know you're doing it the best.)

 

Here's a little trick you could experiment with-- knowing that guys tend to have bigger hands than ladies, if you live someplace where it get *really* cold, try wearing *2* pairs of glove on those frosty days, adding to whatever else you've been doing. See if there is a discernible subliminal reaction from cisgendered people.

 

And on and on..... like I said, you're your own lab rat and scientist all rolled into one. Be careful out there.

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