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5 hours ago, butterflydreams said:

From what I understand, most AMAB people just use pills. There are estradiol injectables, but I don’t know how common they are. I believe testosterone has to be either injected or absorbed topically. There are no pills for it that don’t cause other problems.

Okay... That's a relief!

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On 1/11/2018 at 4:01 AM, Tortuga said:

*sigh* yes... It goes a lot faster for them. 

 

Also, on a side note, I have a fear of needles. Great. Just great. (Hopefully there is other ways)

And I'm envious how slow the changes are for trans women :P Knowing my luck and given my already not so feminine body, if I took T, I'd never pass for a female again after a month or two. I wish there was something in between. Maybe I am already at the in between? I dunno. I get the occasional sir, but only occasional. Most of the time, it's madam. Er... no, sorry, mostly, it's hey you. I'm at least lucky I look like an adult. As a man too. Or maybe people notice what kind of thing is up with me and are unsure how to go about that? Who knows?

 

i used to be afraid of needles. It went away with age. 

 

hmmm. I'm not having gender thoughts lately. 

 

Hey. Question for trans girls. An odd one. I have some hormone swings. I have visible peach fuzz which in my personal opinion looks disgusting, therefore I shave it. Over the last couple of months all of my body hair fell out or weakened. Acne  vanished too. My skin is dry. And hair on scalp grew back. I would say my testosterone must have gone down. However. The peach fuzz is fine and dandy. The same as it was. Is that normal? Does facial hair stay even when the rest falls out? I know. Wierd question. 

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nerdperson777
16 hours ago, Tortuga said:

Okay... That's a relief!

I just know that if the female gendered hormones are taken by injection, the results would be a lot faster, like T injections, because of the high absorption rate.  I heard of one girl who was on pills for a while, but once she switched to injections, her boobs continued to grow even bigger.

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I dunno... I'd prefer pills still, because I am very terrified of needles

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Do you know this moment when you really want and need to write something meaningful, but you have no idea what?

 

I've been struggling with my gender so much for such a long time. Now this struggle disappeared and I feel... empty? This is this strange phenomenon when  you feel down because something negative diaappears. I find myself looking at the forums less and less. I feel somewhat empty.

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Oh my. One of my fave feminist writers changed their name from Judith to Jack. I was looking for their book and was confused that I can remember they were AFAB and their name was Judith or I was confused? Anyway... they changed their name. I couldn't exactly tell in their photo whether they are AFAB or not, and if I was wrong. Then I found that old editions of their books are signed Judith. 

 

Edit: oh my. He's a trans man! He uses he pronouns! He doesn't take testosterone or anything like this. Wow. Mind blow! There is someone like me out there! I'm actually happy. Haha, I always enjoyed his writing because it corresponded with my own perspective so much.

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The-world-is-quiet-here

@Emery. I don’t know if this is the person you’re referring to, but the person i thought of was Jack Halberstam? I started reading Female Masculinity over a year ago, but I got upset at the section about trans guys, so i stopped reading it haha <_<

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2 hours ago, The-world-is-quiet-here said:

@Emery. I don’t know if this is the person you’re referring to, but the person i thought of was Jack Halberstam? I started reading Female Masculinity over a year ago, but I got upset at the section about trans guys, so i stopped reading it haha <_<

Yes. I couldn't find the whole book online, so... what was this section about trans men about?

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Facebook's ads have gotten so wonky ever since I came out. I just got back-to-back ads, one for a Gay Men's Survey, and the other for a back shaver. I'm starting to think Facebook suspects that I'm a bear/otter :lol:

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butterflydreams
10 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

Facebook's ads have gotten so wonky ever since I came out. I just got back-to-back ads, one for a Gay Men's Survey, and the other for a back shaver. I'm starting to think Facebook suspects that I'm a bear/otter :lol:

Thanks for that Mezzo, now I know what an otter is. Omg lol

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I've got years of repressed thoughts that previously I thought to be "IM WEIRD I KNOW IT" & "Everyone must think like this right?" to process still...

Still, thing keep clicking together after 7 months of coming out.

F*ck, there's so much that screwed my life up thanks to repressing. 

 

I'm broken D:

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I keep on thinking how my gender stuff affects my relationships... Whenever I get with someone, I'm worried how they will react to my gender issues. I don't want anything in particular from other people, and the whole news would be "so I identify more as masculine than female,  i feel like a guy" so I guess it should be alright? But some people are so biased against any sort of non cis identities... I guess having reached a gender expression you feel good with makes it a lot easier, though.

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999papercranes

My brain genuinely can’t comprehend why I have a these fat lumps on my chest. I’ve been taking a break from binding because I’m not feeling so well, and seeing them just makes me confused and distressed. They’re not supposed to be there?? I don’t understand why I wasn’t born with a flat chest. My brain knows I was supposed to have been born male.

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I :) love :) having :) so :) many :) pimples :) thanks :) puberty :) 2 :) 

 

(/sarcasm)

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13 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

I :) love :) having :) so :) many :) pimples :) thanks :) puberty :) 2 :) 

 

(/sarcasm)

I don't think I got my acne in control until like last September, so maybe 16 months on T, and that was after starting a pretty intense acne routine.


That said, when you have your top surgery, the antibiotics may actually temporarily clear up your acne. It definitely did for me right up until I had that allergic reaction and my prescribed steroid gave me the most horrendous body acne I ever had in my life. :P I've also noticed that acne flare-ups often coincide with stress, so managing your mental health will have an added benefit of helping your acne btw.

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19 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

I :) love :) having :) so :) many :) pimples :) thanks :) puberty :) 2 :) 

 

(/sarcasm)

Yeah I love pimples too! The scars are awesome!

 

my friend legit thought I had freckles. 😒 I had to use medical stuff for them so I have not have any cool remedies. 

Sorry...

 

Hoefully they will disappear.

 

But later, we would have wrinkles to complain about!

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On 1/12/2018 at 12:13 PM, Tortuga said:

I dunno... I'd prefer pills still, because I am very terrified of needles

The way I cope whenever I get a shot is to take a deep breath and relax. Look away and remind myself that I'm not going to die from this. :'D Next week, I'm going to have to inject myself and that's going to be quite the adventure... But it's the cheapest I can afford.

 

Speaking of so, @Mezzo Forte when you mentioned listening to music helps you? I thought of this song and perhaps use this and inject myself when I hear "PAIN". :'D

 

 

On 1/14/2018 at 7:47 PM, Mezzo Forte said:

Facebook's ads have gotten so wonky ever since I came out. I just got back-to-back ads, one for a Gay Men's Survey, and the other for a back shaver. I'm starting to think Facebook suspects that I'm a bear/otter :lol:

Heh, I think FB knows I have depression due to LGBT+ stuff because I always always always see ads about counseling and therapy. Thanks FB. :lol: 

 

57 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

I :) love :) having :) so :) many :) pimples :) thanks :) puberty :) 2 :) 

 

(/sarcasm)

I've always had acne problems since I have PCOS, but I've been trying super hard to combat it and I just hope it doesn't get worse and what I do helps. If not, I guess I'm going to have to figure out how to use makeup to cover up, and that would also be an adventure.

 

Edit: How quaint, AVEN is giving me spoiler box issues again that I can't figure out how to fix

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1 hour ago, :)(: said:

Yeah I love pimples too! The scars are awesome!

 

my friend legit thought I had freckles. 😒 I had to use medical stuff for them so I have not have any cool remedies. 

Sorry...

 

Hoefully they will disappear.

 

But later, we would have wrinkles to complain about!

I've heard that oily skin wrinkles slower, so perhaps you'll have a window where there's no acne and no wrinkles either. :P My acne from puberty 1.0 cleared up in my early 20's, and puberty 2.0 threw all that progress out the window. This time, I had doctors anticipating that I would need acne medicine though, so it could have been far worse without that.

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10 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

I've heard that oily skin wrinkles slower,

Oh yay with my oily skin I’ll never wrinkle 

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@SkyWorld Yep! I like to call them my shot songs. :P I preemptively decide on "entrances" in a piece of music, and I let my instincts take over. Being a percussionist means that the very motions I make to do the shot are similar to the motion I make to enter on with my instruments like snare drum or xylophone. The song you linked actually meets a lot of my criteria for what makes a good shot song, as it has a clear/rigid beat with a predictable entrance point early enough in the song to not get nervous, but not so soon that you don't have time to react. I've certainly injected a little bit of humor into some of my past song choices as well, with songs like "My Shot" from Hamilton, or Tom Lehrer's "Hunting Song," which has the lyrics "you just stand there looking cute/and when something moves, you shoot." :lol: Perhaps I'll add that song you linked to the que.

 

Facebook ads can be so funky. They're so convinced that I'm gay that they basically think rainbows fly out my mouth whenever I try to speak. I have a very amusing collection of screenshots from that though. :P 

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2 hours ago, ChillaKilla said:

I :) love :) having :) so :) many :) pimples :) thanks :) puberty :) 2 :) 

 

(/sarcasm)

Yay pimples! <_< I’d ask for a refund :D *Huugs* man! 

 

3 minutes ago, SkyWorld said:

@Mezzo ForteOhhh, I’m definitely going to consider “My Shot” from Hamilton. I am not throwing away my shot.

I can so imagine you taking your shot and grin while singing that song XD

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5 minutes ago, SkyWorld said:

@Mezzo ForteOhhh, I’m definitely going to consider “My Shot” from Hamilton. I am not throwing away my shot.

 

1 minute ago, Jayce said:

I can so imagine you taking your shot and grin while singing that song XD

I also enjoy saying "I am not throwing away my shot" as I dispose of my used needles. Guess like Hamilton, I have to throw away my shots eventually. :P 

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In retrospect, one of my shot songs might have also had some self-referential humor that I didn't notice: "The Receiving End of it All," as I certainly was on the receiving end of that injection :lol: 

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1 minute ago, Mezzo Forte said:

 

I also enjoy saying "I am not throwing away my shot" as I dispose of my used needles. Guess like Hamilton, I have to throw away my shots eventually. :P 

 

4 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said:

In retrospect, one of my shot songs might have also had some self-referential humor that I didn't notice: "The Receiving End of it All," as I certainly was on the receiving end of that injection :lol: 

I promise i wasn’t laughing when i read your last post :D That’s definetly something i’d do too XD 

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On pimples- “Dear pimples, if you’re gonna live on my face, I’d like to see some rent.” Why does evolution dictate that we get these blemishes on our faces and these scars thereafter? Please fix this. Sincerely, a teenager

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Just now, Tortuga said:

On pimples- “Dear pimples, if you’re gonna live on my face, I’d like to see some rent.” Why does evolution dictate that we get these blemishes on our faces and these scars thereafter? Please fix this. Sincerely, a teenager

And going through it twice? I just need the appropriate throw my hands up in disgust gif.

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nerdperson777

My acne seems to be mostly on my chest, right in the middle.  My face does seem more oily and fortunately there isn't acne all over my face, just some here and there.  I am sometimes in the shower trying to let pus out but then I get blood coming out instead.  I've had chest acne before, but I don't think it was ever this bad.  My face definitely was clearer before.

 

My aunt has been coming over for dinner a lot the past couple days since my mom is on a trip and they're not really compatible people.  I'm not out and dad is continuing to "reaffirm" that he has a daughter.  Of the relatives here, I seem to be her only "niece" so she's been calling me "girl girl" (translation) and it makes me feel bad.  I don't even know what to have her call me that wouldn't make me feel dysphoric.  The only other thing she could call me is my birthname, which I don't want to hear either.  She's been violating my personal space all day and she thinks it's okay because "family".

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@nerdperson777 Sorry about your father and aunt. Family can be very difficult for some people when it comes to trans stuff.

 

Something I’ve been wanting to talk about, but spoiler for TMI.

 

I’ve been looking up a bunch of different FTM’s experience on their first week on T. A few of them have mentioned that their libido have increased.

And... a week on T and my non-existent libido is still~~ NON-EXISTENT!!! Maybe that might change in time? I don’t know... I’m kind of relieved, but also kind of sad.

If I suddenly had a libido, I honestly wouldn’t know what to do because of how foriegn that is for me. I’m kind of happy this part of me hasn’t changed. But I’m also kind of sad because even though before T, I already had above average levels of androgens and still lacked a libido. I used to be happy and accepted myself in regards to this, but lately I’ve just felt like my body truly is broken... That there really is something wrong with me...

I’ve never been aroused and I’m starting to think that my body is just not capable of such. This isn’t exactly what makes me sad, what actually makes me sad is that I’m just not capable to please a partner that I kind of hope to someday have. It’d be nice to find a fellow person with the same/similar lack of sexuality through and through, but that’s incredibly rare and the odds aren’t looking good in my favor. Let alone taking in account of actually clicking with each other.

I wouldn’t want to change this part of myself (lack of libido and arousal) because I feel fine and always felt fine. And yet, I only “low-key” want to change this part of myself so that I could increase my odds for someone to actually want to be with me? Which honestly sounds kind of fucked up to me, but it’s true... How is it any different than someone (Person A) changing themselves specifically not for the reason to make themselves feel better about themselves (and themselves only), but strictly for someone else (“Person B”) to only feel loved by someone? And yet doing so, if Person A succeeds, Person B wouldn’t love the “true” them, but someone else that Person A pretends to be to only feel some kind of love.

I’ve been trying to find a better way to cope with this. That I should love myself and not worry about others lovIng me. I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to that as I would finally feel better in my own skin soon as I would start to look more masculine, which is so amazing to me that I could stop hating myself so much... Though, somehow I feel that even if I did love myself... still nobody would want to be with me. :lol: But yeah, that would still bring me back to just simply love and taking care of myself and not worry about others. Having better self-esteem and confidence is what I truly need, not for some person to love me. I know what I need to do, but easier said than done.

 

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6 hours ago, Tortuga said:

And going through it twice? I just need the appropriate throw my hands up in disgust gif.

On the plus side, if you start an estrogen-based puberty, you'll actually have the opposite happen: your acne will likely clear up. A lot of cis women actually use birth control in part to manage acne.

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