nerdperson777 Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 2 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said: I find that very entertaining, especially since it saves me any need of trying packers. (Plus, packing kind of makes me dysphoric, because it forces me to be acutely aware of what should be there. I prefer to let the clothes make it look like something's there rather than actually sticking a sock or prosthesis down my pants.) I'm only getting one because I want to pee. (I'm being impatient right now since it was out for delivery in the morning and hasn't arrived yet.) My pants, at least jeans, seem to make ripples in my pants so it already looks like I have a bulge. But when I do actually get it, I'm really wondering whether I'd really like to have something extra in my pants. Since I don't actually desire such a body part, it just feels like more effort to me. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 8, 2017 Share Posted November 8, 2017 Just now, nerdperson777 said: I'm only getting one because I want to pee. (I'm being impatient right now since it was out for delivery in the morning and hasn't arrived yet.) My pants, at least jeans, seem to make ripples in my pants so it already looks like I have a bulge. But when I do actually get it, I'm really wondering whether I'd really like to have something extra in my pants. Since I don't actually desire such a body part, it just feels like more effort to me. That's the only reason I would ever wear a prosthesis personally. I kind of want to pack for the sake of knowing what to expect after getting bottom surgery, but I see no point in getting a packer that isn't also an STP, and STPs are a touch too expensive for me to justify at the moment. Bottom surgery's been really on the mind as of late, so I'm uncertain about if I should invest in an STP. On one hand, I may want to use one to mentally prep for surgery; on the other hand, if there's a chance I'll be having bottom surgery within the next year, spending that much on an STP feels like a waste. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 This thing is stretching out my underwear. I guess it's too big. It fell out of place when I only went downstairs. I guess that's what a harness is for. I haven't tried peeing with it yet because I was in the bathroom when I checked my phone whether it arrived it. So got to wait. Also I'm not sure how high/low this should be. I have a feeling it might be too low. (Also I keep touching it while trying to write an essay? I'm totally doing it right. /sarcasm) 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 53 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said: Also I keep touching it while trying to write an essay? I'm totally doing it right. /sarcasm I may or may not (emphasis on may) poke at and grab my boobs from time to time It's like I'm making sure they're still there. Oh, and I typically laugh when I'm doing it. I <3 my boobs. They don't even hurt anymore, which...is...amazing! 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 1 minute ago, butterflydreams said: I may or may not (emphasis on may) poke at and grab my boobs from time to time It's like I'm making sure they're still there. Oh, and I typically laugh when I'm doing it. I <3 my boobs. They don't even hurt anymore, which...is...amazing! I've written 63 words. I need 1000. I started 3 hours ago. This is a topic I like too. Now I'm imagining, "knock knock, are you still there?" Hadley's boobs reply back in a high pitched voice, "Yes I am." 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 Thinking about switching to weekly instead of bi-weekly. Doing 1mL at a time always leaves me with those annoying bumps that indicate you’re doing too much at once, and it hurts more when there’s more liquid. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 24 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said: Thinking about switching to weekly instead of bi-weekly. Doing 1mL at a time always leaves me with those annoying bumps that indicate you’re doing too much at once, and it hurts more when there’s more liquid. I've never heard of bumps happening after a shot. Is this a SubQ thing or can it happen IM as well? (I'm honestly quite content with the bi-weekly shots at the moment. My shot songs really made them manageable, and I like that it isn't terribly frequent either.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 3 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said: I've never heard of bumps happening after a shot. Is this a SubQ thing or can it happen IM as well? (I'm honestly quite content with the bi-weekly shots at the moment. My shot songs really made them manageable, and I like that it isn't terribly frequent either.) I haven't heard about those either from the guys i watch on youtube being on T. I think it could be your skin responding to the shots? I'm just guessing 13 hours ago, butterflydreams said: I may or may not (emphasis on may) poke at and grab my boobs from time to time It's like I'm making sure they're still there. Oh, and I typically laugh when I'm doing it. I <3 my boobs. They don't even hurt anymore, which...is...amazing! Awww! so cute! It's kinda like *Checks boobs* Oh hello Girls! Glad to hear they don't hurt anymore! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted November 9, 2017 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 12 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said: I've never heard of bumps happening after a shot. Is this a SubQ thing or can it happen IM as well? (I'm honestly quite content with the bi-weekly shots at the moment. My shot songs really made them manageable, and I like that it isn't terribly frequent either.) It can be a SubQ thing- it's like a pocket of liquid. Since muscle is much more rigid it doesn't really allow for that sort of bubbling. Not embolism-bubbling, mind you; THAT would be concerning. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I rant that I stopped thinking about gender and I feel strange about it. I should be happy. Right? Now non-trans ranting. I'm so bored at school. The same things over and over and over. I want new subjects. Databases. Operating systems. Networks. AI. Statistics. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 5 hours ago, Jayce said: Glad to hear they don't hurt anymore! Mhmm! Though that means their aggressive growth phase is probably over. On the plus side, I can hug indiscriminately again! I’m pretty happy with the size, especially considering my age and the small-chested genetics I have. I don’t think I’d ever waste my time with implants. It’s very important to me that they feel like my own and not something that was put there. I’ve heard implants can feel weird. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I'm so gay. I fancy girls so much. How on the freaking Earth did it escape my attention before. I'm quite heavily gay. I mean, as a girl. I don't understand the proportion between my attraction to men and women, but it's not like I like a girl only sometimes. I like girls on a regular basis. Men - I don't know where those fall for me. Sometimes? Often? I don't know. How could I have missed such a thing? How? It looks like I prefer women. How the heck did I think I'm straight? On which basis? I was a lesbian all along. And I had no idea. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted November 9, 2017 Share Posted November 9, 2017 I'm just ranting but, when someone is trying to hurt you, why must they always have to go for the birth name? You do all you can to respect their chosen name (trans/nonbinary or not) even when you are no longer on good terms, but for them they directly call you by your birth name to try to spite you simply because they know it's not a name you want to go by. I personally am no longer affected by being called my birth name, but it still baffles me that some people like to go to extreme measures to get something out of you. It's just so... low... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 I wish I could wear tight shirts and rings and paint my nails without worrying about it affecting my passability... Though tight shirts would make me dysphoric af at this point, but I want to be able to wear them one day when my body is better. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 It's not particularly trans inclusive(to say the least), but I'm still enjoying judo. I'm a newbie, and also completely seen as my assigned gender by them, but at least I can shake off stress including that from their misgendering me into some throws-in fact it pretty much refocused me and improved things. I don't think I can say it doesn't get to me anymore though. Just can't get used to not caring about being misgendered one moment, then getting frustrated about it the day later, grrrrrr(I don't know if anyone else gets this, all dysphoria comes and goes for me so I'm just really weird ). 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 Yeah, it seems I got into a positive feedback loop. Gender wise. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 At my work, it's in an office building with many floors and each floor has one bathroom with a toilet and a urinal. Most of the time when I pass the urinal, it isn't flushed. Is that really a thing or just here? Don't flush after you use it? It's gross. Also had a little too much fun with my STP. Only managed to not leak out the very first time. All other times I wet myself. It feels pretty uncomfortable to have something pushed right in my crotch. I can see why AMAB trans people would find something there to be annoying. Then I keep getting hair stuck on it too, my body hair and dog fur. I feel like I'm not really going to get my convenience pee because of how uncomfortable it is for me to have that pushed against myself. Definitely doesn't stay on in boxer briefs. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 So... dysphoria is back. However. As I'm getting to know it... as I'm being with it and getting to know it, I started to understand that all my male friends feel exactly the same way, and that this is not dysphoria, this is my unfulfiled needs that I'm not supposed to fulfil as a woman. Like, my male friends play shooters. That sort of stuff. I'm not used to doing all the stuff like that. I don't even completely know what I'm supposed to be doing, 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Pocky Posted November 10, 2017 Share Posted November 10, 2017 That feeling when you get called by your birth name. *war flashbacks* the feeling when ya wanna use the men's restroom, but you're a shy, chubby potato with obvious curves and the boys bathroom is naturally pretty dirty so you're like "Nah, I'll just go outside and pee in nature!" 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Iota Tau Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 4 hours ago, Cup-of-cake said: the feeling when ya wanna use the men's restroom, but you're a shy, chubby potato with obvious curves and the boys bathroom is naturally pretty dirty so you're like "Nah, I'll just go outside and pee in nature!" Or when you go in and the stall is occupied, and you don't know the ettiquette of where to wait (inside or outside), and you think "I can still pass for female" and wind up ducking into the woman's restroom... Not that this happened a few weeks ago or anything... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 Ah yes, totally not writing an essay with my new dick out. My mom better not walk in on me with this sticking out of all the clothes... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Pocky Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 5 hours ago, nerdperson777 said: Ah yes, totally not writing an essay with my new dick out. My mom better not walk in on me with this sticking out of all the clothes... My fellow sir, what are you writing that needs you to have your dangle berrys out?! O-0 (hide the dangle berry, they mustn't be seen out by family! XD) 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted November 11, 2017 Author Share Posted November 11, 2017 I arrive at the computer Power: on Essay: written Dick: out I am forcibly removed from the computer 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The-world-is-quiet-here Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I wanted to post this in Annoying Things Cis People Say, but apparently that doesn’t exist anymore. I guess I’ve been gone for a while. anyways. NSFW/transmisogyny/discussion of sex and genitals: My dad: “how’s [friend’s name]?” Me: “good.” My dad: “how about [other friend’s name]?” Me, confused: “Good I think? She’s busy, we haven’t been talking much.” My dad, clearly thinking of the second friend: “soooo, if someone was born a boy and has a penis and looks like a guy and uses she pronouns and has sex like a guy, what makes them a girl?” Me: “well, being trans isn’t necessarily about hating your genitals. Some trans people do, but not every trans person does. Sometimes it’s more like, ‘it’s not that I hate my body, it’s that I would feel more comfortable if you addressed me this other way.’ “ My dad: “oh, so it’s more than just your body?” Me: “Yeah. I mean, some trans people do need or want surgery, but not every trans person does. For example, I’m not getting top surgery.” My dad: “that’s good.” I was ranting about this to my mom, and she said, “I don’t understand it either. Your dad and I have talked about this, and it’s not something that was a part of our generation. You understand it, but we don’t.” She then went into a discussion of my sexuality that I need not post here. [/end spoiler] I’m so frustrated. I’m not getting mad at them for this. I’m trying to explain it in simple terms, and explain that how I’ve experienced it isn’t necessarily how other trans/nb people have experienced life. I know that both of my parents are cisgender and straight. I’m not asking them to understand my being genderfluid. But the way my mom said it made it sound like I was saying all that. Also, can someone please help me do the spoiler if it didn’t work right? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The-world-is-quiet-here Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 You know that saying, “do no harm but take no shit”? I’ve decided I’m going to start correcting people- out loud!- when they misgender me. And I finally changed my pronouns on facebook, so I’m proud about that. 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 20 minutes ago, The-world-is-quiet-here said: I wanted to post this in Annoying Things Cis People Say, but apparently that doesn’t exist anymore. I guess I’ve been gone for a while. anyways. NSFW/transmisogyny/discussion of sex and genitals: Reveal hidden contents My dad: “how’s [friend’s name]?” Me: “good.” My dad: “how about [other friend’s name]?” Me, confused: “Good I think? She’s busy, we haven’t been talking much.” My dad, clearly thinking of the second friend: “soooo, if someone was born a boy and has a penis and looks like a guy and uses she pronouns and has sex like a guy, what makes them a girl?” Me: “well, being trans isn’t necessarily about hating your genitals. Some trans people do, but not every trans person does. Sometimes it’s more like, ‘it’s not that I hate my body, it’s that I would feel more comfortable if you addressed me this other way.’ “ My dad: “oh, so it’s more than just your body?” Me: “Yeah. I mean, some trans people do need or want surgery, but not every trans person does. For example, I’m not getting top surgery.” My dad: “that’s good.” I was ranting about this to my mom, and she said, “I don’t understand it either. Your dad and I have talked about this, and it’s not something that was a part of our generation. You understand it, but we don’t.” She then went into a discussion of my sexuality that I need not post here. [/end spoiler] I’m so frustrated. I’m not getting mad at them for this. I’m trying to explain it in simple terms, and explain that how I’ve experienced it isn’t necessarily how other trans/nb people have experienced life. I know that both of my parents are cisgender and straight. I’m not asking them to understand my being genderfluid. But the way my mom said it made it sound like I was saying all that. Also, can someone please help me do the spoiler if it didn’t work right? I believe it's been renamed to "Trans and non-binary problems". 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flagsforhippos Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 test Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flagsforhippos Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 39 minutes ago, The-world-is-quiet-here said: Also, can someone please help me do the spoiler if it didn’t work right? I've just tested the bbcode for hidden contents. Do what you did before but to end the spoiler leave out the word end and keep the / and the word spoiler together without a gap. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
999papercranes Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 I love my mom and she's very supportive but the way she conflates gender expression with gender identity is very disappointing, to say in the least. It's so strange, too. I mean, she's very supportive of any LGBTQ+, but she falls for gender roles over and over. Asking if feminine men are gay or actually trans women. That sort of thing. The first time I came out to her, I came out as agender. She kept asking me if I was really a trans guy instead because I dressed more masculine. It turned out I was, but that still had nothing to do with my presentation. Now I'm out to her as trans, and she tells me she thinks I'm more nonbinary. I asked her why, and she said "You just act like it." Like I don't act like a guy enough. I'm sorry I was socialized as a girl, Mom. I'm not like most cis guys, surprise. And she keeps calling me girl. How does she not understand when I've explained myself a thousand times? I cant be alone anywhere with her without her asking questions about my gender and my future. I feel like I can't call myself a guy in front of her without her thinking it's weird. She sees me as a girl who wants to be a guy, not just a guy. She thinks this about all trans people. I wish she could understand, but she can't. It sucks. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted November 11, 2017 Share Posted November 11, 2017 So my Swedish still leaves a lot to be desired, I'm still very much a beginner... but I've taken to saying "that's not my name" in Swedish everytime my parents call me my birthname. And also "I'm not your 'daughter'", "I'm not a woman", "I'm a boy", "I'm a man". So those are sentences I'm an expert at :/ I say it too quietly for anyone to hear but even if they caught it they wouldn't know what I was saying. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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