Trans Musings & Rantings

[ChillaKilla]

Seeing so much trans & NB erasure in "LGBT" spaces saddens me, but I've also grown used to it. That's the even sadder part.

[nerdperson777]

@Emery. My name is actually Calvin but it has been mistaken for Kelvin and Kevin already. It was even worse when there were a bunch of Kevins around. 

 

I think the math degree has its uses but I don't think I've truly utilized it in work yet. I find higher level math to be less about the actual material and more about the way of thinking. The proving concepts are useful for when one has no clue how to figure something out and should start at the very beginning. Like, I had to prove 0 + 0 = 0. It involved the zero property in that anything added to zero is itself. It sounds like it's weird to have to do that but that's starting from the beginning. When I tell people that, they can only say it's just zero. But how would they prove the answer other than it just is? As children, we're just spoon fed this answer that 0 + 0 = 0, but why? 

 

I personally like calculations more than proving things. Concrete things that I can solve, but that's probably from doing it for so long, being proficient at it, and liking that stability.

 

That is very true. Nothing I learned before college could've prepared me for engineering courses. My first class was programming and I only took a beginner summer class on it right before. I failed my engineering class but I found out even people who knew another language and were great at it, still struggled. I only took one chemistry and the four physics lower division courses so I may not know much about those core classes in general. Physics was definitely hard. When I was supposedly studying electrical engineering, the electricity and magnetism course of physics made many of us doubt our capabilities. How can we be EE's if we can't handle this class? A lot of pressure was lifted off when I switched majors because I didn't want to be there 6 years at the minimum. I was choosing between math and chemistry as my major. Math was what I liked and chemistry was what I was good at. Normally I would've taken the one I was good at, but with all the things I was going through at the time, I rather choose the one I'd enjoy. But if I had a chemistry degree, I would've seriously memorized the periodic table. My success in chemistry was based off a strong math background. 

[Guest]

"Heck, you're going to be one friggin tall woman"

 

 

[ChillaKilla]

2 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

"Heck, you're going to be one friggin tall woman"

 

 

give me ur leg bones

[nerdperson777]

6 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said:

give me ur leg bones

Hey! You're plenty tall enough! I'm short! Mezzo should get them, he's shortest. 

 

Also twice today the stall was occupied. I had to go up to the second floor. Maybe I need an STP more than I think. 

[ChillaKilla]

43 minutes ago, nerdperson777 said:

Maybe I need an STP more than I think. 

Hey, doesn’t have to be anatomically correct. They’ve got funnels and similar devices that are very minimalistic and easy to store, as opposed to buying an expensive packer you have to worry about falling out all day

[Lirpaderp]

4 hours ago, Phoenix the II said:

"Heck, you're going to be one friggin tall woman"

 

 

I've got the opposite problem.... 5' and forever treated like a child

[LeChat]

24 minutes ago, Lirpaderp said:

I've got the opposite problem.... 5' and forever treated like a child

I'm around 5'5'' and still mistaken for a teenager. Whenever I was with my younger, taller brother, others would sometimes assume he was the older sibling.  

[Starbogen]

Yeah I'm 5'7 which actually seems pretty average or at least very close to it where I'm from, especially when I look around at guys in my uni. But my little brothers are like 6'3 and the other one is maybe 6 feet maybe shorter but point is he's taller than me too so I look like the youngest brother. 

 

 

Also this conversation happened earlier today... Kinda paraphrased

Little Bro#1 (I'll call him P): Jeez why does it take you so long to get ready? Guys should only need to put on a shirt and pants and be done.

Me: Well I had to put on shoes and do my hair too.

P: Guys don't need to do their hair.

Me: Then why are there hair products for men?

P: Because those men are gay.

Me (jokingly): Well I'm not straight...

P: But you're not gay either. 

 

So apparently according to his view of maleness I am only allowed to do my hair if I'm gay lol... He's... weird, to say the least. 

 

[Mezzo Forte]

6 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

Hey! You're plenty tall enough! I'm short! Mezzo should get them, he's shortest.

 

3 hours ago, Lirpaderp said:

I've got the opposite problem.... 5' and forever treated like a child

 

Looks like I'm not the shortest person in the thread anymore. Honestly, I made peace with my height ~10 years ago when I learned that I wasn't getting any taller. (I'm 5'3") As a kid, I was convinced that I was going to be tall like my brother, but now that I'm the size I am, it just doesn't bother me, especially now that I pass so consistently. You'd think I'd have a worse attitude about it with all my "trapped in childhood" hangups, but my height is in some ways even an aspect of my identity at this point.

 

My good friend is on the taller side, and I've slowly seen how there's trade-offs that come with height. When we moved into our place, we would load larger objects together, and I'm small enough that I was able to just step into the car while loading the stuff in ways he told me he never could. I've also found myself effortlessly fitting through small passageways in ways that he (and my taller friends) simply couldn't. Plus, I can honestly say that I've never hit my head on a shower head, and several of my taller friends have mentioned doing that.

 

I still get mistaken for much younger than I actually am, but I honestly blame my face more than my height. I had one person tell me that I looked 18-19, which is definitely an improvement considering that people thought that I was at most 15 last year. (Omitting the recent "I thought you were 11" outlier anyways.) When I start teaching in January, I plan on joking with my students that I learned to swim in the Fountain of Youth as a child and that I'm actually ancient if they ask me about my age.

[butterflydreams]

On 10/19/2017 at 9:28 AM, ChillaKilla said:

Seeing so much trans & NB erasure in "LGBT" spaces saddens me, but I've also grown used to it. That's the even sadder part.

Wanna trade? Every space I find is just overflowing with NB people. I get that we have to “stick together” but I don’t often feel like I have a lot in common with NB people. I feel bad about it, but for some reason I dont understand, I often feel antagonistic towards them  It’s almost definitely the specific people I meet, and not NB people in general, but still.

[nerdperson777]

A 14 year old asked if I was 13.  Usually people think I'm 15.  (Oops, I remembered wrong then.  I thought Mezzo was 5' 1" or 2".)  I'm hoping to get my height to the next inch if I can.  Even right before I was taking T, I felt that I was slightly taller.  The driving overhead shade thing isn't at eye level anymore.  It's a little lower so I have to angle it.  Then my martial arts shoes are supposed to be tight but I tend to wear shoes a half size bigger than my foot for space.  I'm not sure if my feet are getting bigger, or the gel insoles are making my shoes tighter, or what.

[Mezzo Forte]

7 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

A 14 year old asked if I was 13.  Usually people think I'm 15.  (Oops, I remembered wrong then.  I thought Mezzo was 5' 1" or 2".)  I'm hoping to get my height to the next inch if I can.  Even right before I was taking T, I felt that I was slightly taller.  The driving overhead shade thing isn't at eye level anymore.  It's a little lower so I have to angle it.  Then my martial arts shoes are supposed to be tight but I tend to wear shoes a half size bigger than my foot for space.  I'm not sure if my feet are getting bigger, or the gel insoles are making my shoes tighter, or what.

If you remembered me as 5'2" then you're actually kind of justified in doing so, because I went from 5'2.5" to 5'2.75" because of HRT and simply started rounding up to 5'3" for simplicity's sake  

 

My feet didn't get bigger on HRT, but I think they got a little wider. One friend of mine went up 2 shoe sizes though, so I guess there's no predicting what will happen.

[Emery.]

@nerdperson777, sorry about the name, I was sure... *facepalm* Maybe it's the spelling I've seen the most. Maybe a physics skew... Kelvin degrees

 

On 19.10.2017 at 6:43 PM, nerdperson777 said:

0 + 0 = 0, but why? 

I took a course in the foundations of mathematics at the math department and I found that kind of thing very difficult to grasp at first. Very counter-intuitive. 

 

On 19.10.2017 at 6:43 PM, nerdperson777 said:

Physics was definitely hard

Oh yes. I was very good at physics in high school and I loved it. I took part in competitions. But in college? I stuggled. There was so much to memorise and so much heavy, technical reading to do, so much detail. Programming? Same. I took basic courses back in high school like you did. But in basic college courses the bar is significantly higher. Again, great amount of technical detail. 

 

I keep on changing courses as well. I decided to stick with computer science in the end, and with the friendly college I'm at currently. I'm positive I can make it, because, well, the college is friendly and if you struggle, you can go to the professors and ask. You pay for the college, of course... 

 

As far as I know, you can get the actuary qualification or work as a statistician for some larger company with a math degree. Or you can switch to programming... but all of that (I'm not sure about the statistics) requires adding something to the degree.

[nerdperson777]

11 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

My feet didn't get bigger on HRT, but I think they got a little wider. One friend of mine went up 2 shoe sizes though, so I guess there's no predicting what will happen.

I guess it depends on how young we start.  I think, if I recall correctly, this one guy on YouTube said that he went from women's size 7 to men's size 7, or something where the number was the same.  He started at around 16, he said.  That's right when puberty hits so I guess more puberty.

 

10 hours ago, Emery. said:

@nerdperson777, sorry about the name, I was sure... *facepalm* Maybe it's the spelling I've seen the most. Maybe a physics skew... Kelvin degrees

 

I took a course in the foundations of mathematics at the math department and I found that kind of thing very difficult to grasp at first. Very counter-intuitive. 

 

Oh yes. I was very good at physics in high school and I loved it. I took part in competitions. But in college? I stuggled. There was so much to memorise and so much heavy, technical reading to do, so much detail. Programming? Same. I took basic courses back in high school like you did. But in basic college courses the bar is significantly higher. Again, great amount of technical detail. 

 

I keep on changing courses as well. I decided to stick with computer science in the end, and with the friendly college I'm at currently. I'm positive I can make it, because, well, the college is friendly and if you struggle, you can go to the professors and ask. You pay for the college, of course... 

 

As far as I know, you can get the actuary qualification or work as a statistician for some larger company with a math degree. Or you can switch to programming... but all of that (I'm not sure about the statistics) requires adding something to the degree.

There's this one kid who likes to make jokes and puns so he tried to make the Kelvin pun with my name and I said that I wasn't a temperature system.  I already had my name confused a lot before I changed it.  Still don't know how people thought my name was Christine then, it's not even that similar!

 

I take it that to prove higher level stuff, we have to start with proving the very basics first.  I had issues with it though, because I'm not sure which theorem, postulate, or lemma I'm allowed to use.  Then for exams, people ask if we can use this one.  If not, we have to prove it first.  Then I have to figure out how to prove that before I prove the main thing and then the cycle can continue, or I just BS it and use something that wasn't proven yet.  I guess the idea of "why prove something that has already been proven" messes with me.

 

I only took AP Physics without taking regular physics.  I guess in retrospect, unless you really were into physics, people at my school could've only taken one.  Physics was kind of a junior/senior class.  I think as part of an experiment, the school decided to put freshmen in there.  Meanwhile, I was put in a dumb down class.  I'm not sure if my mom had a say in what class I was taking, but she said she intended me to be in the grade level class.  But that was not very grade level to me.  So I ended up wasting a year in there, but at least I got A's in it.  I took it has my class was the lowest, then Biology, Chemistry, and Physics.  My class wasn't even required for graduation.  I think it was just some place to put the not so smart students for a year.  I think I heard that it may have to do with popularity too.  I had a popular friend who got in Biology while taking everything else at the same level as me.  It was hinted somewhere.  But anyway back on physics.  I found AP hard since I don't think I took any actual physics course before.  Also the teacher was tricky.  He would assign homework but he MAY check that you did it.  Somehow people just scribble some stuff on the paper and get the points for it since they aren't actually read in detail.  Meanwhile in AP Biology, it was he MAY NOT check your work.  It made it sound more likely that that teacher would check.  I think Physics was the first class where I saw a lower grading scale.  Above 80 was an A.  50 was a C.  Then there was that one kid who got 90s on every test.  He was trying to get a "regular" A,  I'm just happy that I got a 67% on one test.

 

I have a friend who just graduated in CS.  I think she was pretty good at it, since her standard was that she wanted to beat her father's GPA, which I take was pretty high.  I only know she got A's the first year and then I wasn't really talking for the next few years because of mental illness and gender stuff.  Then I came out earlier in the year and we seem to be better now.  I think just about always you can ask the professor.  I'm just too anxious to do anything about it.  I started going to office hours but I wouldn't do anything in office hours.  It was just me hoping to get a little more secret info that I may not find in the textbook, which was not very time-productive.  I had a TA who honestly told me that I shouldn't be in engineering if I came to office hours just to sleep, as I did several times.  Well, my reason was that I'm too hesitant and anxious to ask first.  Then I wait too long and get tired.  After that, office hours are over so I couldn't even ask my question.  I didn't have the answers for my behavior back then, but I do now.  Earlier I said "just about always" ask the professor because I had this one professor who surprisingly didn't.  He lectured really seriously and seemed really strict so not sure how much people actually wanted to go up and talk to him.  Also, he did not offer any office hours until the day before the final.  I emailed a TA asking where the professor's office was.  She replied back that it should be on the syllabus.  It wasn't, because he didn't have any office hours.  The TA excused the professor for being a busy guy doing research.  But I did go to office hours that day and there were very few people there.  The prof also made it scary to ask questions because it was one person in his office at a time, instead of doing problems out in the lobby for everyone to see.  Some of us were just hesitant to go in.

 

A lightbulb just went off in my head now.  High school and lower just teaches the theory of things, for the most part, that feeding of information.  I wasn't prepared for engineering because there was a lot of application, which I was not trained in.  My usual method of studying was just absorbing information and not physically working out problems.  Then that info gets put in short term memory, which I don't remember on the test, and then it screws that up.

 

I tried taking an actuarial math class.  It didn't really work.  The prerequisite was college statistics that I somehow passed by doing practically nothing, meaning I didn't learn the material.  Then the professor was an old guy who constantly lost his train of thought.  So no matter how much I looked at the textbook, it didn't make any sense.  I ended up dropping that class and forgetting to return the textbook so I have a useless practically new book under my bed.  I think if I were to go for another degree, it would be a statistics master's at the local university, because they don't allow people to get a second bachelor's due to too many students.  I liked statistics in high school, but it's so long ago that I would have to relearn it all over again.  Plus I think it's all about the bell curve and the z-score, pdf and cdf.  I think there's more to statistics than that.

 

Yeah, I hate programming, especially after failing my first actual class in it.

[binary suns]

warning, this rant can be controversial or triggering. the things I say I only say to speak for myself.

 

 

once someone said that, to claim being trans was lesser to being cis was a transphobic statement. but, I don't understand how? I'd give anything to just start over as a cis woman. to undo being born male. this sucks. even if socially being trans was unshamed and not rejected, it still wouldn't change the fact that most humans who look like me before I transition, are male. it wouldn't change the body parts I have. it wouldn't change my height. it wouldn't give me periods or pregnancy. it wouldn't stop transition from making me infertile. it wouldn't give me back the youth that I lost. it wouldn't undo the mistakes I've made that hurt me, for not knowing the reality of what I could be. it wouldn't give me the knowledge to have prevented that, only the acceptance once I come out. maybe it could've let me known I was trans earlier, but that isn't necessarily enough to prevent damaging gender-related mistakes. it wouldn't remove the jealousy I have.

 

transition gives me so much hope to reduce the damage from many of these, but enough of them don't change even with transition.

 

perhaps there is fair argument to claiming that stating it is necessarily worse to be a trans person, might be pushing it too far to be OK. but, I just don't see it that way. things which are true, even if only contextually true, cannot be a phobic thing to say. one could argue that being forced to grow in a certain way gives us strength many other people just don't even know they could develop, and in that way there is good which offsets the bad. but, there is still that price to being trans, that I do not want to have been forced into a life with.

[nerdperson777]

I feel like my STP wants are strong right now.  I've been trying to pee standing up since yesterday.  I don't think it's very effective so far.  Spoilers for possible TMI

 

So I kind of straddle the middle of the toilet bowl because my pee just seems to go straight down most of the time.  At that height it just splashes everywhere, on the bowl, my thighs.

It seems so anti-ace that I'm so eager to take off my pants (to pee like this).

 

I'm waiting to get one because a friend possibly wanted one too and if we order together, we can split the shipping cost.  But that was before I started wanting to stand pee so much.

 

Also idk if this should be its own thread, but what's people's ideas on cut/uncut?  Since I don't own one and have only seen two real ones (both by accident) briefly.

[Starbogen]

I feel so alone.

I wish I could talk to trans people/had friends who were also trans. Honestly have friends in general but that's not trans related so.. But yeah I wish I had someone who understood.

[Iota Tau]

@Liebelit Do you have a LGBTQ centre near you? If you do, and they have a trans group, that would help.

[Starbogen]

15 minutes ago, Iota Tau said:

@Liebelit Do you have a LGBTQ centre near you? If you do, and they have a trans group, that would help.

I have absolutely no idea.

[999papercranes]

49 minutes ago, Liebelit said:

I feel so alone.

I wish I could talk to trans people/had friends who were also trans. Honestly have friends in general but that's not trans related so.. But yeah I wish I had someone who understood.

God, I totally feel this. I only know of one trans guy in real life, and only because he was outed to me by this girl on my cross-country team. (She's not nice to say in the least.) He doesn't even go to my school and I've never spoken to him before. 

Plus I'm in Nowheresville, Iowa, so I don't have any LGBT centers near me. 

[vmdraco]

I mentioned before that in my teens I've had random stray dark hairs growing on my chin or cheek, but since coming into my late teens and early adulthood I noticed them coming around much more often, especially before menstruation times.  I especially notice them cropping up on my chin again but this time there are more.  I think this might have to do with including dairy back in my diet (from vegan to vegetarian), which is nuts to me because this hasn't happened before until now.  I have about 5-10 dark hairs now, some of them barely half an inch long but they're mine.  I'm pre-t and I'm growing baby facial hairs, and all in the same location!  

 

*chugs artificial growth hormones for that sweet, sweet gender validation*

[nerdperson777]

2 hours ago, vmdraco said:

I mentioned before that in my teens I've had random stray dark hairs growing on my chin or cheek, but since coming into my late teens and early adulthood I noticed them coming around much more often, especially before menstruation times.  I especially notice them cropping up on my chin again but this time there are more.  I think this might have to do with including dairy back in my diet (from vegan to vegetarian), which is nuts to me because this hasn't happened before until now.  I have about 5-10 dark hairs now, some of them barely half an inch long but they're mine.  I'm pre-t and I'm growing baby facial hairs, and all in the same location!  

 

*chugs artificial growth hormones for that sweet, sweet gender validation*

I have this random single long nipple hair.  I've had it pre-T.  It randomly disappears and reappears.  It doesn't fall off.  I really mean one day magically it wasn't there and then some random day it came back.  I've accidentally pulled it out twice afterwards.  It looks like it's growing back now.  Another weird thing about it is that it grows back in the exact same spot.  Hair is weird.

[butterflydreams]

9 hours ago, Liebelit said:

I feel so alone.

I wish I could talk to trans people/had friends who were also trans. Honestly have friends in general but that's not trans related so.. But yeah I wish I had someone who understood.

*hugs* I know this feel too well. A local LGBT center might have groups that would be helpful. I’ve been going to one near me and it’s ok. The last one was a bit of a train wreck, but there are some cool people there. 

[Mezzo Forte]

On October 21, 2017 at 2:10 PM, nerdperson777 said:

I guess it depends on how young we start.  I think, if I recall correctly, this one guy on YouTube said that he went from women's size 7 to men's size 7, or something where the number was the same.  He started at around 16, he said.  That's right when puberty hits so I guess more puberty.

As someone who wore a women's 7 and wears somewhere between a boy's 4-5 now, I would have liked that kind of jump.  I had a friend go up two shoe sizes too, but I think he started HRT around 17-ish, so perhaps he had a similar situation.

 

On the plus side, children's formal shoes tend to be cheaper anyways. Harder to find the right ones, but cheaper when you do  

[Was here]

Lately I've been imagining having a rainbow bracelet and being really open about being transgender and gay online and it makes me feel pathetic, like I would be shoving it in people's faces when really it just means,"I'm this and I'm not afraid to be this. If you don't like it, leave." I wouldn't want to be friends with someone only for them to find out something like that and then leave me. maybe I'm being too ambitious. I'm too afraid of what other people think of whatever I do. I have friends who are really open about their sexualities and have fun expressing it, so why am i so afraid? I'm afraid of being that annoying "in your face" person when heterosexuality is "shoved in our faces" every single second of every god damn day. I wouldn't' be that "HI I'M GAY I'M GAY I'M GAY I'M SO INCREDIBLY GAY" (or replace all of that with "trans")  person at all. whether I expressed it a little or a lot, I wouldn't want to be that kind of person. I just wish I wasn't so afraid all the time to be myself [in general].

 

I feel like i'm gonna get shit for this because it looks controversial and I can never seem to word my posts correctly. everyone's gonna read this and think I'm narcissistic (which I honestly feel like I am, because gender euphoria has been driving me crazy, wanting to be male so, so much). 

[Was here]

I hate my body so much right now I want to fucking scream. I can't take it. why the fuck was I made a girl? who the fuck wants to be a girl? why would any cis girl want to be a girl?

[Light02]

While we're on the topic of LGBT+ centers I guess I should ask this. In my country we don't have any centers offline, just a couple of online ones (that don't even have forums, so it's not like there's any sort of Bulgarian queer community online either). We also don't have any LGBT+ clubs in our schools or universities. We only have one LGBT+ club in the whole country in what is called The American University in Bulgaria which is where the rich kids study. (Seriously, it's incredibly expensive, most Bulgarians don't have that kind of money. A lot of foreigners go there as well.) I study in the Plovdiv University and Plovdiv is the second biggest city in the country. We don't have an LGBT+ club but I did find a thread from 2012 in the University's forum where a group of students were asking whether they could make one and a professor responded by saying that this is a University, a place to study, not a place to make a sex cult. The argument in the thread goes on for some time and it is unclear what the resolution was. I'm 99% sure the students didn't win, though and I think there still is no LGBT+ club in the University. One other student in the thread suggested that "the non-heterosexuals" just want attention and why would they need a club for queer related issues? It has nothing to do with being a student, therefore there's no need for a club. 

 

Anyways, I want to make one and a friend of my mine who is bisexual and goes to the same University as me agreed to help me. I don't really know if we'll be allowed to set up the club and I don't know if enough people would risk outing themselves to join but I think it's worth trying. Except I have no idea, if we are actually allowed to set it up and if there are enough people willing to join, what would we do? I have no idea what happens at these clubs or centers, I've never been to one because we don't have any in the whole country. Are we supposed to have discussions on queer related topics? Should we showcase art from the underground Bulgarian queer scene (if we can find any, it might be pretty hard to do so)? Just, what do we do and how do we organize this? Those of you in more developed countries, could you tell me what typically happens at these meetings in LGBT+ centers and clubs? (Obviously, this is all very hypothetical, considering there's a high chance they won't allow us to do this in the first place.)

[Starbogen]

11 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

*hugs* I know this feel too well. A local LGBT center might have groups that would be helpful. I’ve been going to one near me and it’s ok. The last one was a bit of a train wreck, but there are some cool people there. 

Thank you. I hope things go well for you there.

 

14 hours ago, nerdperson777 said:

I have this random single long nipple hair.  I've had it pre-T.  It randomly disappears and reappears.  It doesn't fall off.  I really mean one day magically it wasn't there and then some random day it came back.  I've accidentally pulled it out twice afterwards.  It looks like it's growing back now.  Another weird thing about it is that it grows back in the exact same spot.  Hair is weird.

Man I have so many weird nipple hairs... like my chest is gonna be super hairy on T.

 

10 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

As someone who wore a women's 7 and wears somewhere between a boy's 4-5 now, I would have liked that kind of jump.  I had a friend go up two shoe sizes too, but I think he started HRT around 17-ish, so perhaps he had a similar situation.

 

On the plus side, children's formal shoes tend to be cheaper anyways. Harder to find the right ones, but cheaper when you do  

Well I guess my feet won't get any bigger but apparently they were pretty big for being afab to begin with.. I was a women's 10 and now I'm a men's 8. It's weird though because to me my feet look small when I compare them to guys' feet, but my gf (who is the same height as me) thinks they're "huge" because they're a size or two bigger than hers. I wish I could go up a couple sizes so I could be a 10 again.

[nerdperson777]

9 hours ago, Mezzo Forte said:

As someone who wore a women's 7 and wears somewhere between a boy's 4-5 now, I would have liked that kind of jump.  I had a friend go up two shoe sizes too, but I think he started HRT around 17-ish, so perhaps he had a similar situation.

 

On the plus side, children's formal shoes tend to be cheaper anyways. Harder to find the right ones, but cheaper when you do  

I wore size 7 even though my feet were 6.5 for extra room.  I wonder if the sizing is off because now I wear 5.5M.  4-5 seems kind of small for women size 7.  I don't get how people's feet get so big.  The larger sizes look unnatural to me.  It's like it bends more than I expect out of a shoe.

 

I'm watching this one 14 year old grow.  We probably both still have feminine faces and large legs/butt from martial arts.  I haven't seen him lately because of busy high school I guess so I can't really tell him that I started T.  I'm starting to hear his voice change though.  My voice is breaking so much.  We can be the two weirdly sounding guys with our cracking voices.  Another plausible reason for me not seeing him lately could be top surgery.  I know he had gotten consultation and stuff but don't know when he was going to get that done.  I kind of feel sorry for him for having a bigger chest.  His slouching makes him look like he has massive pecs.

 

Yes, I got some dress shoes from Goodwill for like $5.