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How can people realize if they are Asexual or not?


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Hi, this is something I've been wondering recently, how can people know if they are Asexual or not. how did they find they were?

 

I can't really explain myself, it's very complicated to explain for me. Maybe because the facts that I am not sexually attracted to anything, that I dislike sex and porn and that I don't desire any sexual relations.

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It's kind of a logical conclusion you come to, similar to how you might realize you have an allergy to something or you might realize you like a type of ice cream. You're given a scenario (it does not matter if it is hypothetical or real, it just matters that a scenario is present). You react to it. And based on your reaction and all the fine details of it, you yourself can come with more or less a conclusion. Like, let's say you eat a banana. You begin to start itching and breaking into hives. A logical conclusion would be "I am allergic to bananas." So it's like that, except it's more or a prolonged thing. You live life and meet people, talk to them, etc. And as you live your life, you may find that you are not attracted to anyone sexually. And thus, that would probably drive you to a logical conclusion that you might be somewhere on the asexual spectrum -- of course, provided that you even know what the term means. Does that make sense?

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Friends told me. And then it just seemed like it might explain some things.

 

I had another friend tell me recently that she could tell in 3rd grade.

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If you don't experience either sexual attraction or sexual desire, and you're not interested in sex in general, then I would say those are pretty strong indications that you may be asexual.

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sweetbitter

Observing oneself, observing other people, comparing and coming to a conclusion that you are the minority, not that guy addicted to porn or the girl who is sleeping with someone new every week. 

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1 hour ago, Soldier455 said:

Hi, this is something I've been wondering recently, how can people know if they are Asexual or not. how did they find they were?

 

I can't really explain myself, it's very complicated to explain for me. Maybe because the facts that I am not sexually attracted to anything, that I dislike sex and porn and that I don't desire any sexual relations.

A person is asexual if he or she says so. It's like being hungry or being happy. Nobody can tell someone else 'you're not hungry' or 'you're not happy' right?

 

I've known as long as I can remember that I like girls. Children don't know about sexualisation but they do know who they like to be with, hold hands with and they can have little crushes. Mine were always girls. Little girls talk very early about when they grow up and get married and have children, I didn't say "I don't want a  husband, I want a  wife" because I always knew I wanted to be single and childless. As I became a teen, my friends talked about boys and boyfriends and it went on to be sexualised and I never felt any of that. I still wanted to just hold hands and be with my girl-crushes.

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As I've stated before. For me I remember once in the sixth form library we were talking as a room about sex and porn and masturbation (girls and boys... it was a deep conversation thinking back) and realised that I couldn't relate to any of their stories. I'd never watched porn or masturbated or wanted to have sex where as it was normal and frequent for the others. So I looked around for a while. Quora, Google and found out about asexuality and found this place where I learned more and found out that a lot of people feel this way. That's when I started to identify as asexual. The more I learned about the spectrum the more I adapted that title. Now I like to identify as a demisexual heteromantic. Research and knowledge were what lead me to this.

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It's pretty easy to do so when you're stuck in a highly sexualized environment and you find you simply can't relate to everyone else in that manner.

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I never had much difficulty with it. Maybe for girls it's different, but as a guy you're constantly inundated with messages telling you your ultimate life goal in life is supposed to be sex, sex is the best thing ever, if you're not having sex you must be miserable. And if your reaction to all of that is "I don't see how that's at all interesting or appealing", you know you're pretty different. When every guy you're around points out girls and says "man isn't she hot?" and "wouldn't you love to bang her?" and you're just sitting there thinking "I don't care", you know you're different.

 

I knew I was asexual once I got to be too old to keep up the hope that I was just a late bloomer and one day I'd wake up attracted to someone.

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I honestly still do not know if I am or not, so I came here for more self-discovery I suppose. I'd say for me, the earliest signs were realizing I didn't care about crushes or kissing and all that even in late elementary/early middle school. 

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Shit, I'm still not 100% sure lol! It can definitely be confusing, but for me, I haven't ever experienced sexual attraction to anyone, even when I've found people jaw droppingly stunning and the fact that I can't really relate to a lot of guys around me when they start talking about sex led me to the conclusion that I'm ace :)

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Most people eventually realize they are left out on some kind of global conspiracy that sex is suppose to be the best thing ever, and everyone does it etc. That feeling of being left out forces you to come to conclusions "maybe Im not doing it right. Maybe I'm gay etc". Eventually resulting in Googling "Why don't I like sex" either on their own volition, or by suggestion.

 

The journey of self discovery is a long one.

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