-Lex- Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 This is really TMI and sort of hilarious but I'm really confused. Like this is totally bizarre but I'm just wondering if anyone else experiences this. So I'm really confused about sexual attraction, sexual desire, and sexual arousal. Like I don't really know what they are or what the differences are. And I've read a couple topics about it, but I just never feel anything mentally or physically mostly. Like I never mentally want to have sex with my husband, but like sometimes I get a feeling like...? I don't know, kinda like I have to pee, I guess? And usually I do have to pee, BUT I also have this thing where when I get nervous, I feel like I have to pee. But like, wouldn't sexual attraction or whatever feel good or make me want to have sex like in a good way? Becuase this just feels bothersome. And I don't know whether this is like... A) I have to pee because I'm nervous about sex B) I have to pee because I'm nervous because I don't want to have sex C) I really do have to pee D) I have to pee because I have three anxiety disorders and I'm always nervous and I have to pee when I get nervous which is a lot E) I'm experiencing actual sexual feelings and don't know it So what I'm wondering is, is this feeling the mysterious sexual desire or attraction or arousal that everyone talks about but I've never understood? Or like do I just have to freaking pee? Because it feels like I have to pee. Does this happen to anyone else or am I totally crazy? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 The feeling of needing to pee is completely different. For you, it's probably a safe assumption that nervousness/anxiety is playing into it. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yatogami Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 Sometimes arousal feels like the need to pee, but that doesn't necessarily mean you are attracted to anything. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 As you stated, sexual attraction, sexual desire, and sexual arousal are all different things. What you described is not sexual attraction but may be sexual arousal. Sexual attraction is when a quality about someone triggers the impulse to do sexual things to/with that person. Sexual desire is just the desire to have sex in general. Sexual arousal is a tingling and/or pulsating sensation in your nether regions. You know the releaving sensation once you've peed? It's like that. But since you've never masturbated there is the possibility that once you do you'll become a sexual person because things just aren't linked up yet. If you can't get aroused then it may be a red flag for a health problem like hypothyroid or a tumor. Orgasm can vary in intensity; anywhere from just one or two digits above arousal or all the way to 10 and even felt throughout the body. Learning how to work things down there can be a learning process, especially for the more complicated female body. You don't even have to go inside; most women require clitoris stimulation. Your hands aren't required either; as simple pressure against something can stimulate it. Note, having a full bladder can make it easier to become sexually aroused and even increase the intensity of that arousal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Snao Cone Posted July 9, 2017 Share Posted July 9, 2017 42 minutes ago, AceAlexa said: So what I'm wondering is, is this feeling the mysterious sexual desire or attraction or arousal that everyone talks about but I've never understood? Or like do I just have to freaking pee? I think it's mostly general nervousness intertwined with the need to freaking pee. If you don't have any underlying inclination towards sexual intimacy or feel like needs are being unmet by not having sex with your partner, I don't think there's anything sexual about this. I'm sure many armchair psychoanalysts would love to theorize on this for you, but I wouldn't listen to them. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pramana Posted July 10, 2017 Share Posted July 10, 2017 On 7/8/2017 at 10:28 PM, Star Bit said: But since you've never masturbated there is the possibility that once you do you'll become a sexual person because things just aren't linked up yet. If you can't get aroused then it may be a red flag for a health problem like hypothyroid or a tumor. Where does the OP say that they've never masturbated? I believe the OP has already discussed being sexually active, both in this thread and elsewhere. It is generally accepted that one's masturbation habits are not relevant to one's asexuality. In fact, questions about masturbation are one of the Asexual Bingo responses that asexuals commonly hear when explaining their orientation. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
-Lex- Posted July 11, 2017 Author Share Posted July 11, 2017 On 7/8/2017 at 9:28 PM, Star Bit said: As you stated, sexual attraction, sexual desire, and sexual arousal are all different things. What you described is not sexual attraction but may be sexual arousal. Sexual attraction is when a quality about someone triggers the impulse to do sexual things to/with that person. Sexual desire is just the desire to have sex in general. Sexual arousal is a tingling and/or pulsating sensation in your nether regions. You know the releaving sensation once you've peed? It's like that. But since you've never masturbated there is the possibility that once you do you'll become a sexual person because things just aren't linked up yet. If you can't get aroused then it may be a red flag for a health problem like hypothyroid or a tumor. Orgasm can vary in intensity; anywhere from just one or two digits above arousal or all the way to 10 and even felt throughout the body. Learning how to work things down there can be a learning process, especially for the more complicated female body. You don't even have to go inside; most women require clitoris stimulation. Your hands aren't required either; as simple pressure against something can stimulate it. Note, having a full bladder can make it easier to become sexually aroused and even increase the intensity of that arousal. @Star Bit Are you stalking me or something? I said multiple times in another thread about not having an interest in masturbation or sex but that I am married and sexually active. I've already told you that I disagree with your "you may me sexual if you've never masturbated" argument and that it doesn't apply to me. I'm not stupid, I know how sex works and I know how my body works, I just don't know how the feelings part lines up with it all. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Star Bit Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 I don't put every single thread and its user to memory. I'm sorry if this made you reiterate things. No I'm not stalking you. But there are factual findings behind people not masturbating, finally doing so, and becoming sexual. It's NOT an opinion. If you've had vaginal sex then there's no "linking up"/masturbation needed though. But as I said, not being able to be aroused is factually a red flag for health problems such as hypothyroid or a tumor. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Pramana Posted July 11, 2017 Share Posted July 11, 2017 24 minutes ago, Star Bit said: I don't put every single thread and its user to memory. I'm sorry if this made you reiterate things. No I'm not stalking you. But there are factual finding behind people not masturbating, finally doing so, and becoming sexual. It's NOT an opinion. With respect, I'm not aware of any, and during past discussions of this topic you haven't been able to provide any reputable source to support what is a highly improbable claim about sexual orientations. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted July 21, 2017 Share Posted July 21, 2017 On 09/07/2017 at 2:52 AM, Philip027 said: The feeling of needing to pee is completely different. For you, it's probably a safe assumption that nervousness/anxiety is playing into it. Anxiety can play quite a big part in urination urges, anxiety to go, anxiety to find a toilet without needing to go or forcing to go due to the panic of possibly not going or being away from a toilet. Panic and also mood, being overexcited or having a mood that's too high or being agitated could have changes in toilet habits. Opposite way with mood the polar opposite as like a depression severe enough a person could ignore or not feel the urge to go for longer stretches of time, even with no changes to food or hydration levels. Such treatments for the anxiety and depression could reduce the urge or increase it, some such treatments do have a side affect as urinary retention as a side note. Slight off topic, but learnt quite a bit from current experiences with anxiety, depression and treatments for such. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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