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Lovelykat

So....About the "Hair down there"

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Lovelykat

Hi guys, so I had been in sexual relationships for the past 4 years or so with different guys, but have recently found an asexual romantic partner (even though I think I might be on the aromantic spectrum... we're pretty happy now even that he knows, but it's complicated!) 

Anyway, so for the past 8 months or so of being together I have not been sexually active...and that's new territory for me. 

 

Now here comes the TMI part...

I always used to shave the area down there or at least keep it trim because most of my partners preferred it that way, and honestly I'm really hairy and it embarrasses me. 

Now that I'm not sexually active, I've been letting it grow out a little...but I'm honestly nervous about it. 

...What about my upcoming trip to the gynecologist? Is she going to think I'm gross? 

-My friends recently made a joke about a really hairy woman at the beach wearing too short bikini bottoms, and it honestly gave me such anxiety 

 

So I guess my question is.. asexual women...do you shave or trim down there?? Or just let it grow out?? Is it okay to just let it grow??  

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Flower Boy

I'm a man, but I have a V so I'll comment.

 

It's your body, and the hair grows naturally there. You do not have to feel ashamed of that. A gynecologist likely won't even mention it, and the comment from your friend was just flat-out rude.

I trim, mostly because it helps prevent cysts for me but it is completely okay to just leave it.

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.Lia

1. Hair is natural in the pubic region. Your doctor actually WANTS hair there. It's there for a reason - it's like eyelashes. It keeps dirt and bits out of your labia and away from your urethra that should not be there and could cause infection. So no, your doctor will not think you're "gross". At all. Ever. Unless you don't wash, then that's gross ;)

2. Fuck anyone else who makes you feel uncomfortable about your body. It's your body. Be comfortable in it. If that means shaving, shave. If it means leaving it, leave it. If it means trimming, trim. But no one else gets to dictate how you feel.

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swirl_of_blue

I have never had a gynecologist comment on my downstairs hair. I trim occasionally to make it easier to keep things clean but am nowhere close to clean-shaven. Just clean yourself properly and you're good to go.

 

I once had a friend who was studying to become a midwife complain of how gross it is when women aren't clean-shaved, but she was, frankly, an idiot and never finished those studies, changing to a profession that has less to do with people in general. No one should have business telling you to shave or trim.

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Graceful

Sexually active or not, it's just a matter of personal preference. The gynecologist will have seen all sorts. Natural isn't gross. Just go with what you're comfortable with.

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Wish Bear 🌠

All adults grow hair there, so it shouldn't be strange and unusual to anyone. If anything, I think it is weird for anyone to insist that another person shave there since pre-pubescent children are the only ones who naturally don't have it there.. Society's messed up.

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Mink_Seragaki
36 minutes ago, Moon Spirit ☽ said:

All adults grow hair there, so it shouldn't be strange and unusual to anyone. If anything, I think it is weird for anyone to insist that another person shave there since pre-pubescent children are the only ones who naturally don't have it there.. Society's messed up.

My thoughts exactly!

 

I don't shave down there though I have trimmed on occasion just to make sure nothing peeks out of a swimsuit bottom, but it's only a light trim where the hair rests against the bikini line on the front. [I'm a hairy beast down there.]

 

Gynecologists don't care if you have there and if your friends care about hair, they're pretty shallow.  Just let it grow!  The hair's there for a reason.

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podsnap

I'm well into my forties and other than a bikini line for bathing suits, I'd never even heard of shaving *down there* until about a dozen years ago. This has really only recently become an in thing probably because social media is allowing us to see each other's stuff more than ever before so women have become more conscious of it. Trust me, I promise, your gyno has seen plenty of pubic hair.

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warrigan

nope, i've never shaved "down there."  i don't shave at all anymore, and i like it much better that way.  ^_^

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Philip027

Pubic hair is natural, despite what porn would have you believe.

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butterflydreams
11 hours ago, .Lia said:

1. Hair is natural in the pubic region.

What's weird though is that humans are kind of the inverse of most mammals. Most mammals have lots of body hair/fur, but their genital region is free of hair/fur. Most mammals also have a penis bone. Humans don't. Lol...oh humans :P

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SaturnOOO

To each his/her own... I don't get the completely shaven trend, myself, but *shrug.* TMI: I was once in a sexual relationship with a guy who actually commented how much he liked that I had pubic hair. It just happened to be something he was into. But honestly, people have different styles and preferences. If you like growing your hair out, do it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

What I can say with certainty as a medical professional, though, is that your gynecologist is not going to give two craps about whether or not you shave. She will probably barely notice, to be perfectly honest. I think I've said this once before somewhere here, but my previous roommate and I were having a *ahem* likely inappropriate conversation, lol, and I said something like "Jeez I don't know, it's not like I make it a habit to look at a lot of men's penises..." To which she replied, "but don't you though?" And yeah, I do. I look at genitals every day at work, but that hadn't even crossed my mind. When you're thinking in a professional capacity, your brain is on another channel. Whether there's hair or no hair or whether the carpet matches the drapes really doesn't register in any meaningful way because that's not what you're looking for. As a poster above said, yeah, if you don't wash for several weeks beforehand and have a raging yeast infection, it's probably not going to be the most pleasant thing she's ever done, but she'll probably just give you a script for the yeast infection and not think much about it afterwards. So I definitely wouldn't worry about judgment on that front. You just do you. 

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Shieldmaiden WinterDragon

I'm female but not really feminine, however I never shave or cut down there. I've never been sexually active and I'm in my late 20s. I see no issue with letting the hair continuing to grow.

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kevinnzcd
2 hours ago, Philip027 said:

Pubic hair is natural, despite what porn would have you believe.

You are so right.  Its mainly due to porn that people now shave down there.  The hair was  'getting 'in the way of the action' so to speak.  Not that I am a great fan of totally naked bodies, mine or anyone else's, but if I do see a girl naked and she's shaved there I sure do NOT like the look.

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roland.o
3 hours ago, Philip027 said:

Pubic hair is natural, despite what porn would have you believe.

If porn is misleading you in this regard, search for some porn of the 80s. The shaved nether regions are just a fashion trend. But unlike kevinnzcd, I don't think it's porn that caused this trend. Look at the comments that female celebrities get if they dare not to shave their armpits. I think it's the visual media in general where this trend started, and porn is merely reflecting the mainstream.

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Philip027

I will never go searching for porn on purpose.  Not my thing.  But as an avid internet goer, you kinda inevitably run into some.

 

And based on what I have run into, let's just say I wouldn't fault people (both male and female, incidentally) for thinking they're "supposed" to shave.

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roland.o
1 hour ago, Philip027 said:

for thinking they're "supposed" to

Yep. Same problem as with the overabundance of skinny supermodels that give many women the impression that they're supposed to be skinny, isn't it?

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Deus Ex Infinity

I do shave myself regularly but it's all just a personal decison or kind of aesthetic taste. If you don't feel or want to do it, then just leave it.

9 hours ago, Shieldmaiden WinterDragon said:

I'm female but not really feminine, however I never shave or cut down there. I see no issue with letting the hair continuing to grow.

Exactly :D

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Lovelykat

Thank you guys for your answers!! And I agree with @Philip027 , I honestly think porn probably has a lot to do with our expectations, plus just a general societal idea that body hair is masculine. 

Now I'm thinking I'll probably trim, just to make myselffeel more comfortable, but no shaving for me! I looked up what you wrote about @.Lia and wow, that is so crazy but good to know! I had no clue it was actually better health-wise not to shave. All the more reason not to I guess! 

 

Anyway, thank you all so much for your answers! I know this probably seems like a stupid question, but these answers have made me feel a lot better!  

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Yato

Hell I just let it be free. More cushin for the pushing as they say. 

 

The only time I see reason to shave, is when I am being examined. I would assume its easier to see. 

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Telperion

To be perfectly honest: I trim only the day or so before my period because otherwise it-TMI-gets stuck and clumps in the hairs, which pulls and hurts. So I trim just before my period starts to avoid said problem. I did shave 'down there' once. ONCE. It was horrible and I'm never ever doing it again. The itching was terrible!! DX

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Rhaenys

I do a mix of shaving and trimming cause thanks to my genes my hair is thick and will not be completely gone if I do one. 

Gyno's won't care tbh. They've seen a lot.

 

 

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Bisexuace

I like to shave my area down there because it makes me feel comfortable. Not for anybody else, just me. Just do what makes you comfortable, if you think your anxiety will go away by shaving, shave it (if you like to).

 

And about your gynecologist, no, they won't think you're gross. In fact, I think they recommend not shaving because it helps preventing STIs and infections. Don't feel bad about your doctor knowing you don't shave, they know that hair is natural!

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shinyinternetalpaca

I shaved once. It was a terrible idea. I trim now, because it is a little excessive ;)

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the v is free

TMI

TMI

TMI

I trim like twice a year because it gets long and gross clumpy when I have my period 

That's all, fuck what a guy wants I'm not shaving I bleed enough. 

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TheAP

I've never shaved down there.

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Evren

I used to get really long pubic hair so I would clip it, because it would get stuck in pads and stuff. Which is really painful. I thought about shaving it at one point but then I looked it up and figured out its vital to a healthy bacterial balance so i never messed with it. Now after spending almost a year fixing my poor underarms bacterial balance I will never shave down there.

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vmdraco

I've only been to the gyno a handful of times (honestly thank god), and they really don't care about what you do down there so long as it's clean for them to "check".  They've seen everything, I'm sure.  Poor souls.

 

Spoiler

I do tend to shave, but only around the pantie line area because I detest how it feels, and when the front ends get too long I trim it off to keep it compact affectionately called "deforestation".  It does tend to get really long and it's thick and curly, so when it reaches a certain length it becomes a big chunk of hair that has it's own colic, no joke.  It's incredibly irritating.  I've considered growing it out since I only wear men's undies anyway, but it's a matter of comfort for myself and what feels okay.  That and 15 years of being drilled to shave as a teenager tends to make me a bit phobic about where it grows "down there".

 

 

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NerotheReaper

My opinion is it is your body if you want to shave or not, that is one's choice. It is nice to consider your partners preference, but your partner should also respect what you do with your own body. Shaving down there does take some work, a benefit of shaving down there I can see is if you wear pads you don't have to worry about pulling the hair down there on accident. 

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ChillaKilla

My own experience:

I really only do a bit off the top, towards my abdomen because it just looks neater IMO. Nobody's seeing it or anything, it's my own preference. Occasionally if I wear a bikini bottom when swimming I'll just make sure nothing sticks out.

 

If you want to shave, just keep this in mind:
-Use conditioner instead of shaving cream because it makes the hair softer

-Afterwards, use coconut oil or another moisturizer to prevent irritation

-You'll probably be really sweaty in the next few days because the lack of hair makes you sweat a LOT worse

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