Member116379 Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Apologies for the vague title; I had no idea what to put!! I was wondering if this experience was normal..weird...or if it even has a name. Basically, my feelings generally tend to go like this: I may think about sex and think oooo yes that might be good; I may even imagine speific scenarios and play them out in my head. But only when a sexual scenario is not possible i.e I'm not with my boyfriend, it's a fictional character or celebrity so it won't ever happen or it's just some random made up person my subconscious made me dream about. If this is an actual thing that other people have experienced, are you aware of a name for it? And also, how did you cope with it? It's not exactly something I can tell my boyfriend as it makes it sound utterly awful Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kani Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 So you think of sex as a sort of a fantasy that you don't want to put into reality? There're plenty of fantasies that people don't want to actually happen, many involving violence or illegal things, so it's not out of the ordinary. There is also a subset of asexuality called autochorissexual or aegosexual, defined as "a disconnection between oneself and a sexual target/object of arousal; may involve sexual fantasies or arousal in response to erotica or pornography, but lacking any desire to be a participant in the sexual activities therein". Aegosexuals can: Spoiler Get aroused by sexual content but not actually want to engage in any sexual activities Masturbate, but are neutral or repulsed by the idea of having sex with another person. Fantasize about sex, but envision people other than themselves, and/or view it in third person, as though they're watching it on TV, rather than imagining it in first person, through their own eyes. Predominantly or entirely fantasize about fictional characters or celebrities, rather than people in real life they know. Identify as asexual and feel no sexual attraction to people, but enjoy masturbating, are aroused by sexually explicit content, and/or have sexual fantasies. Hopefully this helped. In the end, while it might all seem so complicated and frustrating, there's not really much we can do to change these things. It can be hard for your boyfriend to understand how you feel, but you can always try and explain. At least you shouldn't feel guilty about something that you can't change. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iridian Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Hi! The only term i can come up with right now is fictosexual..anyway it's okay to have fantasies if you like them, dont put much stress or bad thought about it..they're something very intimate and private you can take for yourself if the thought to share and be judged distresses you:-) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Yeah, that sounds a lot like autochorissexuality. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member116379 Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 "So you think of sex as a sort of a fantasy that you don't want to put into reality?" I'd say that's it in a nut shell. I'm currently on holiday without my boyfriend and have imagined us being intimate a couple of times now. I've also felt a wee bit like I actually wanted to have sex with him; which is something I don't think I've felt when I've been at home and could see him without a 3 hour drive like now! All in all I'm quite confused, but it is what it is and I guess it's just part of who I am 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member116379 Posted June 28, 2017 Author Share Posted June 28, 2017 The main source of confusion for me was that I can become aroused watching certain things on tv and films (NOT PORN!!), reading things and thinking about them. But the distinction with me is that I don't feel the urge to act in them; I'm just neutral with the reality of it, even if I can become aroused. It's just biology, right? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iridian Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Didnt remember aegosexuality was that vast so yeah guess it fits better in that case than the more specific fictosexual. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
iridian Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 12 minutes ago, k_pixel said: The main source of confusion for me was that I can become aroused watching certain things on tv and films (NOT PORN!!), reading things and thinking about them. But the distinction with me is that I don't feel the urge to act in them; I'm just neutral with the reality of it, even if I can become aroused. It's just biology, right? Arousal is a body thing, a physiological response (to say poorly), so yes xd also, im precisely like you in this sometimes 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 On 6/28/2017 at 9:03 AM, k_pixel said: "So you think of sex as a sort of a fantasy that you don't want to put into reality?" I'd say that's it in a nut shell. I'm currently on holiday without my boyfriend and have imagined us being intimate a couple of times now. I've also felt a wee bit like I actually wanted to have sex with him; which is something I don't think I've felt when I've been at home and could see him without a 3 hour drive like now! All in all I'm quite confused, but it is what it is and I guess it's just part of who I am My mind and "heart" seems to think that some level of physical intimacy would be cool, with the right person. But my body is, at best, completely bored by it; and I think that is a surprise to the part of my mind that likes it. Talk about confusing... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Rynn Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 Hi, I'm here from a different thread you started, but what I have to say has more to do with this topic, so I'm replying here. In that thread you said: If I think about sex/sexual scenarios, it's usually with celebrities. So that's aegosexual. and I don't know if I'm misunderstanding, but did you mean that you imagine having sex with these individuals? Autochorissexuality (now often called anegosexuality) is a term coined by Anthony Bogaert. It was put together like this: auto=self, choris= without. He wanted it to describe a specific type of asexual that fantasizes about sex in a third person perspective, rather than the first person perspective most sexual people have. These types of asexuals do not fantasize about having sex with anyone. They fantasize about other people doing it. It's like they're watching a movie inside their head. It's a type of vicarious arousal. I may be misunderstanding what you said, but it sounded like that wasn't what you were talking about? Maybe it's a different thing? (Disclaimers: 1. I'm not trying to tell you what to identify as, just thought maybe I could clear up some misunderstandings, but then again, maybe I'm the one who misunderstood. 2. It's possible to be asexual without being autochorissexual. 3. No matter what labels fit you and don't fit you, you're not weird.) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Yatogami Posted July 17, 2017 Share Posted July 17, 2017 On 6/28/2017 at 11:31 AM, k_pixel said: Apologies for the vague title; I had no idea what to put!! I was wondering if this experience was normal..weird...or if it even has a name. Basically, my feelings generally tend to go like this: I may think about sex and think oooo yes that might be good; I may even imagine speific scenarios and play them out in my head. But only when a sexual scenario is not possible i.e I'm not with my boyfriend, it's a fictional character or celebrity so it won't ever happen or it's just some random made up person my subconscious made me dream about. If this is an actual thing that other people have experienced, are you aware of a name for it? And also, how did you cope with it? It's not exactly something I can tell my boyfriend as it makes it sound utterly awful I have similar fantasies, but instead of sex its with other things that involve my non-sexual fetish. So I think its normal. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member116379 Posted July 17, 2017 Author Share Posted July 17, 2017 18 minutes ago, Laurann said: Autochorissexuality (now often called anegosexuality) is a term coined by Anthony Bogaert. It was put together like this: auto=self, choris= without. He wanted it to describe a specific type of asexual that fantasizes about sex in a third person perspective, rather than the first person perspective most sexual people have. These types of asexuals do not fantasize about having sex with anyone. They fantasize about other people doing it. It's like they're watching a movie inside their head. It's a type of vicarious arousal. Yes it is pretty much always like I'm an onlooker or watching a film. I can't (or don't want to) necessarily put myself into the scenario. Now that I think about it, it's almost as if my default setting when thinking about stuff is to see it like a film rather than be being involved 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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