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When did you realise you are asexual?


MagentaColouredTurtle

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The Drafting Ninja

My sister told me.  I started to look information up recently and found this site.  Reading through everyone's experiences it sort of clicked for me.  I had similar ones.  So thank you guys.  This site has cleared things up for me.

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@The Drafting NinjaIt helped me a lot too. I'm very happy with my situation and nothing could change it. By the way, are you a draftsperson (going by your nickname)?

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The Drafting Ninja

Yes.  I sometimes doodle too when I get a chance.  Created a little cartoon of a dancing ninja once on a break.  It wasn't anything spectacular.  So I figured it would make a good username here.  It says a lot about me without needing to post too many specifics.

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  • 2 weeks later...
nothinbuttrouble

Underneath my denial, I started to become aware of it around twelve. Also, the first time I heard

the word "asexual" in this context, I knew it applied to me right away. I just couldn't accept it. I

don't know why I couldn't, I just COULDN'T.

 

I always have to test everything to its absolute limit. Well, the test results are back... twenty years later.

Congratulations, it's an asexual!

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I figured it out when I was 16 (I think). I do remember how--a google search for, "am I the only guy that doesn't want sex??" In high school there was  a lot of innuendo and relationship dynamics that I just couldn't understand. The first group of friends I found was particularly horny (I go so sick of it I found another group of friends later), and one gay student kept hitting on me. Many of those in relationships would have PDAs that were obviously sexual in nature. I rode the bus home and there were often so many sexual conversations I was disgusted. Even my dad had hinted at sex being a vital part of a relationship when I talked to him about how infrequently I'd care for it in one. While still experiencing strong crushes, I couldn't understand any of this sexual stuff, so I searched and found my answer.

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About 2 years ago my friend was watching a LGBT+ pride YouTube video interviewing people with all sorts of sexualities. She was pointing out all the different peoples sexualities and I recognised most of the names except two, pansexual and asexual. I looked them both up and realised asexual described me.

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TheSilentScientist
On 8/30/2017 at 2:03 PM, The Drafting Ninja said:

My sister told me. 

That's how I found out too. Almost 6 years ago now. Though I had known for quite sometime that I wasn't sexually attracted to other people. I just never had the words to describe it. When I finally researched what it meant to be asexual, I was ecstatic! I grew up pretty sheltered until I went off to university, so I was unaware that people like me existed. 

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Apersonontheinternet

Before summer in school conversation

girl 1, who ships everyone together(literally talk to a person and you will be shipped): Oh, I ship you and *insert worse enemy's name* together you would be so great together

me: nope I hate him, I have absolutely no interest in dating guys at all throughout school in fact.

girl 2: wait are you...?

me: nope, I have no interest in dating anyone throughout high school

sometime in summer

somehow ended up talking about dating, sexuality, and other stuff

me: so what would someone who just doesn't like people be called?

friend, who is really deep into the LGBT+ community (thanks if you somehow see this): Ummm.... You mean Aromantic or Asexual?

me: oh, thanks

later

After much googling and reading through aven posts. IS THIS WHAT I AM? HAVE I FOUND MY PEOPLE?

 

 

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Perilous Poozer

I just have never been interested, despite being super social and it never occurred to me that it was anything other but a personal deficiency until this  year at age 41. It's always been too intrinsic to be a realisation. I'm so happy there's a whole community of people out there! Thanks internets 😊

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Was talking to a friend about gender and sexual identities, all the terminology. This of course involved talking about ourselves. For me, it was how I like to look at people but don't want them to touch me. Then it was like a light bulb went on. And I started doing research. This was just three months ago! 

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20 hours ago, Perilous Poozer said:

I just have never been interested, despite being super social and it never occurred to me that it was anything other but a personal deficiency until this  year at age 41. It's always been too intrinsic to be a realisation. I'm so happy there's a whole community of people out there! Thanks internets 😊

Kind of sucks that in some cases it takes so long. If I hadn't read an article that mentioned AVEN back in '05, I don't know if I would've figured it out on my own. I know I wasn't doing any research about my lack of sexual interest.

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On 8/31/2017 at 8:11 AM, The Drafting Ninja said:

Yes.  I sometimes doodle too when I get a chance.  Created a little cartoon of a dancing ninja once on a break.  It wasn't anything spectacular.  So I figured it would make a good username here.  It says a lot about me without needing to post too many specifics.

I took drafting in high school (before CAD/CAM) ended up being a tool & die maker in my working days

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Perilous Poozer

Yes! @will123 I guess I was a little flippant, but I did really struggle to understand my lack of attraction to other people and it totally did my head in when I met my partner - I thought that I must not really love him if I did not sexually desire him. I do wish I had known a LOT earlier!

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