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Bazinga

Is it difficult being an asexual adult?

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Bazinga

Hello everyone. I am currently 16 and have recently realized that I was asexual. At first, I was elated that I finally found a label for myself. However, it dawned on me that I would never be able to get married or have children (I'm aromantic as well). I never wanted marriage or children, but I thought I did because of societal norms. However, I now feel deeply saddened because I know that Ill never be able to live a "normal" life like that of my friends. It's probably just the teenager in me speaking, but, I truly want to be able to fit in or at least relate to everyone around me. I have always felt isolated for my entire life, and I just need some guidance from adults who have been through it all.

 

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)? Do you miss out on a lot? Do you ever wish you were heterosexual? How do you deal with being alone? Do you have pets? Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma) Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own?

 

I don't mean for this to be a pity thread; I am merely looking for guidance and honest answers. All the best.

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daveb

You can still have friends.

 

I'm very introverted, so I don't need a lot of socializing, but I have found a few friends (some locally, for things like board game meetups; and some right here on AVEN, some of whom I have met in "real life" and even traveled with). 

 

Some people also develop platonic relationships/partnerships that are similar to romantic ones, but without the romantic component.

 

There are lots of ways to be a person and lots of ways to have relationships. 

 

Good luck!

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G0D

Being an asexual adult is just fine... I can use the internet unsupervised and actually get work done..

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Scase

 You don't have to stay single. Many aces form relationships with other aces or they compromise. My girlfriend is very accepting of my asexuality and we've come up with a system based around our religion that works quite well. As far as a romanticism goes, it also doesn't have to be lonely... You can form platonic relationships that fulfill the human need for companionship, with other Aros or even romantics/sexual if you found the right ones. Friends also help a lot. If you can make sort of a familial group of friends, that might be your best bet actually. Just depends on your stance on everything. In summary: no, you don't necessarily have to be lonely.

~Scase~

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ohdearIzzy
24 minutes ago, Bazinga said:

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)? Do you miss out on a lot? Do you ever wish you were heterosexual? How do you deal with being alone? Do you have pets? Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma) Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own?

Answering your questions in order:

No, I have friends and family.

No, I have perfectly normal work and social lives, I just don't date, but I don't feel like I'm 'missing out' on that because I don't want a romantic relationship.

No.

I'm not alone, I have friends. But if you mean 'alone' as in not having a partner, I'm 100% fine with it, since I'm aromantic.

At the moment I travel too much for work to do so, so I have to settle for occasionally babysitting my sister's cats. When I move on to a job that requires less travelling, I will get my own cats.

My life is easy, relationship drama free, completely independent and I don't have to deal with wanting something that isn't readily available. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself or share my space, it's great.

I don't want children but if I ever change my mind I will have them via a sperm donor, I'm not going to let being single stop me from doing whatever I want in life.

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FranciumSenpai

I mean, I don't know fully yet as I'm only 19, but the only "issue" I've ever faced is the issue that ever ace has probably ever faced, which is just the usual ignorant person. Being asexual and an adult is not really all that... "difficult". You don't really find yourself alone. Like, I have friends. In terms of romantic partners (like that kind of alone) I haven't made one in a while, but that's mostly because I haven't been trying to yet (I'm in college). Trust me, it's nothing to fear.

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Talespin

I have friends and family, both human and non-human (dogs are the best) so I'm not lonely. I don't feel I'm "missing out" on anything because I've never had any desire for a romantic or sexual relationship. Platonic friendships can be just as meaningful and I wish society would stop making marriage/sex seem like the "ultimate goal" in life. When I was younger I used to have nightmares about getting married because I thought one day I would have to, that if I didn't I would be a "failure" and a "disappointment" to everyone. I know better now and I'm thankful to be surrounded by open-minded and accepting friends. I would be fine having a (non-sexual/non-romantic) partner/close friend to live with one day but at this point in my life I'm content with things the way they are. 

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Techie

I am 55 and heteroromantic but never acted upon those "annoying" feelings. For me, I have friends, pet cat and my sisters and their kids including a niece who I did the day-care thing for for her first five years and still do things with at age 11. 

 

Personally I envy your aromanticism. I find being asexual AND heteromantic to be a frustrating combination. I can feel attraction for women but I have never had any real compunction to act upon those feelings which just adds to the frustration. There was a list posted here a while back of all the romantic things asexuals would enjoy other than sex. Many things I would find enjoyable BUT take a back seat to sex with most humans. Just an off the cuff estimate that 90% of enjoyable romantic things are non sexual but only garner perhaps 10% interest from a sexual person versus 90% for sex. 

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Karen smith
1 hour ago, ohdearIzzy said:

Answering your questions in order:

No, I have friends and family.

No, I have perfectly normal work and social lives, I just don't date, but I don't feel like I'm 'missing out' on that because I don't want a romantic relationship.

No.

I'm not alone, I have friends. But if you mean 'alone' as in not having a partner, I'm 100% fine with it, since I'm aromantic.

At the moment I travel too much for work to do so, so I have to settle for occasionally babysitting my sister's cats. When I move on to a job that requires less travelling, I will get my own cats.

My life is easy, relationship drama free, completely independent and I don't have to deal with wanting something that isn't readily available. I don't have to answer to anyone but myself or share my space, it's great.

I don't want children but if I ever change my mind I will have them via a sperm donor, I'm not going to let being single stop me from doing whatever I want in life.

 

19 minutes ago, Techie said:

I am 55 and heteroromantic but never acted upon those "annoying" feelings. For me, I have friends, pet cat and my sisters and their kids including a niece who I did the day-care thing for for her first five years and still do things with at age 11. 

 

Personally I envy your aromanticism. I find being asexual AND heteromantic to be a frustrating combination. I can feel attraction for women but I have never had any real compunction to act upon those feelings which just adds to the frustration. There was a list posted here a while back of all the romantic things asexuals would enjoy other than sex. Many things I would find enjoyable BUT take a back seat to sex with most humans. Just an off the cuff estimate that 90% of enjoyable romantic things are non sexual but only garner perhaps 10% interest from a sexual person versus 90% for sex. 

18 minutes ago, Techie said:

I am 55 and heteroromantic but never acted upon those "annoying" feelings. For me, I have friends, pet cat and my sisters and their kids including a niece who I did the day-care thing for for her first five years and still do things with at age 11. 

 

Personally I envy your aromanticism. I find being asexual AND heteromantic to be a frustrating combination. I can feel attraction for women but I have never had any real compunction to act upon those feelings which just adds to the frustration. There was a list posted here a while back of all the romantic things asexuals would enjoy other than sex. Many things I would find enjoyable BUT take a back seat to sex with most humans. Just an off the cuff estimate that 90% of enjoyable romantic things are non sexual but only garner perhaps 10% interest from a sexual person versus 90% for sex. 

 

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Kathleenah

I never wanted kids, so that side of things doesn't bother me. However I am disappointed that there's a verges real chance ill never get the chance to spend myself life with someone (a sexless life!).

Lots of asexual do get married and have kids though, everyone is different 👍

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Sleighcaptain

@Bazinga, I was somewhat older than you when I identified as asexual. Since then, no small thanks to meetup mart, I have more friends, acquaintances, and people to hang out with than I've ever had before. 

I personally am all in favour of pets, particularly when you've finished education and life is more settled. Seeing from your age that you are still in the education system maybe they should be left for a couple of years. 

Also remember that sexuality and romantic attraction are fluid. By all means rejoice in the fact that you've found an orientation and attraction which describe you now, but don't treat it like a millstone. Should, in the future, something happen, don't think "I'm aro-ace, I can't be attracted to them in any way shape or form" 

Speaking as a 45 year old aro-ace I still cling to the hope that I may be able to find someone to share my life with. Also I know aro-aces who have found a significant other they were never expecting to. 

As far as the children situation goes, remember that there are many heterosexual couples who cannot have children for one reason or another, so that should be the least of your worries. There's nothing to preclude adoption in the future anyway 

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chandrakirti

As another aro ace, I don't think I'm missing out, even though I have had the experience of marriage. I'd rather be alone with friends than married with misery. Of course it's different in every case, but just enjoy things you like and friends will appear, based on shared interests. 

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fuzzipueo
On 6/26/2017 at 9:45 AM, Bazinga said:

Hello everyone. I am currently 16 and have recently realized that I was asexual. At first, I was elated that I finally found a label for myself. However, it dawned on me that I would never be able to get married or have children (I'm aromantic as well). I never wanted marriage or children, but I thought I did because of societal norms. However, I now feel deeply saddened because I know that Ill never be able to live a "normal" life like that of my friends. It's probably just the teenager in me speaking, but, I truly want to be able to fit in or at least relate to everyone around me. I have always felt isolated for my entire life, and I just need some guidance from adults who have been through it all.

 

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)? Do you miss out on a lot? Do you ever wish you were heterosexual? How do you deal with being alone? Do you have pets? Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma) Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own?

 

I don't mean for this to be a pity thread; I am merely looking for guidance and honest answers. All the best.

Actually, as an adult (at 47), I find I am far more happy and less lonely than I was ever as a kid or teen (not that I had a horrible childhood really, just lonely). I always had a hard time connecting with people to the point that I pretty much gave up on having any close friends until my early twenties and I found a group of people with whom I shared a common interest. Since then, though small, I've had a fairly steady, stable, friendship group. I'm still very shy and introverted, but I know that there are people I can talk to out there, and that's a great feeling. Also, I've got my dad, my sister and niece, cats, a dog, a creep of tortoises, and a chicken, plus the people with whom I work.

 

Do I miss out on a lot? Not sure what you mean here. If you mean relationships - no, I've got lots of different types of relationships in my life - family, friends, acquaintances ...

Do I wish I were heterosexual? At one point I thought that was my default - just that I did not have any real interest in having sex or being married/in a relationship of that nature.

How do I deal with being alone? I enjoy it actually.

Are there any benefits? I can watch TV as I like, I can read for however long I like, and I can come and go as I please without having to check in with someone else (other than dad, since we live in the same house).

Kids were a nonissue for me, to be honest. I never wanted them to begin with personally. My niece more than fills the bill any rate, and she's more than enough kid for me. :)

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Hermit Advocate

I don't feel like I need a partner or kids, I have cats. The only thing I can really miss out on by being a perpetually single ace is double dates, and I have absolutely no desire to go one one of those. 

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Snao Cone

I've been much happier since I entered my 30s. I also happened to start identifying as asexual in my 30s, and I think there's a light correlation there. I always knew I didn't want marriage or kids, and the people around me knew that (family, friends from way back) because I never pretended I did. I find it immensely easier to remain satisfied with my life now that I know I'm not intrinsically lacking anything by not being in relationships or having sex.

 

That's not to say there aren't problems - most people do pair up and can easily rely on their partner for everyday social interaction, which means I'm less likely to see them. But that's still fine for me as I'm moderately introverted. I do still need social interaction, and I could use more of it than I generally have, but I'm working on that. At least I know I'm not going to find anything in dating. That saves me a lot of time. :)

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SaturnOOO

I certainly don't find it difficult being asexual as an adult... I'm just myself. I found it much more difficult trying to be sexual! I don't feel lonely because I'm lucky to have wonderful friends and family, and yes, a dog who brings a lot of life and happiness to my house :) 

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Mal334
On 6/26/2017 at 10:45 AM, Bazinga said:

Hello everyone. I am currently 16 and have recently realized that I was asexual. At first, I was elated that I finally found a label for myself. However, it dawned on me that I would never be able to get married or have children (I'm aromantic as well). I never wanted marriage or children, but I thought I did because of societal norms. However, I now feel deeply saddened because I know that Ill never be able to live a "normal" life like that of my friends. It's probably just the teenager in me speaking, but, I truly want to be able to fit in or at least relate to everyone around me. I have always felt isolated for my entire life, and I just need some guidance from adults who have been through it all.

 

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)? Do you miss out on a lot? Do you ever wish you were heterosexual? How do you deal with being alone? Do you have pets? Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma) Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own?

 

I don't mean for this to be a pity thread; I am merely looking for guidance and honest answers. All the best.

I am not sure if you would count a 19 year-old as an adult or if you were looking for an adult-y-er adult, but I am going to give you some advice from someone who is always thinking, looking, and worrying about the future. Don't! Focuse on your academic future and your future job, but after that who cares what people think about your love life or lack there of? I have family and friends. Do I go on double dates? No. Do I want to hang out with a ton of couples and watch them try not to make out in front of me? No! I would like to have someone to spend my life with but I am holding out for either another ace or a partner who doesn't mind not having sex. A benefit I guess would be that I know I will never date one of my regrettable exs again. I don't want to HAVE my own children in the first place. Brith looks like it sucks so I don't want to do it and that is my chose. Personal I see my life ending in one of two ways. One, my dog and I live in a tiny house, and travel the world when I am not at work. Two, I adopt a large set of siblings, and be a great mom to them. 

 

You do whatever you want to do with your life. It is yours! Don't let anyone tell you other wise!!

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Blue Phoenix Ace

Is it difficult being asexual as an adult? Heck no! If anything, it's a relief not to have to worry about:

  • Finding someone to bang
  • Pissing off the people you bang
  • Drama with the people you bang
  • STDs
  • Accidental pregnancies

I realize asexuality can make it difficult to find a romantic partner. But, once you find one you are compatible with, you should be good to go after that.

 

No, the difficulty is in being aromantic. You'll hit a certain age where all your friends start getting boyfriends and girlfriends. Then they start getting married. You'll still see them after they get married, but not as much. Then, they have kids. That's when you tend to stop seeing them. You might get lucky and have some friends that include you in their family, and that can be a wonderful thing. But, the majority of your friends will just not have time for you anymore.

 

Most people fill this void with their own romantic partner, but if you don't want one, then it's easy to get lonely. There is hope though. You can make new friends, possibly ones that are also single at heart. Or, find hobbies to fulfill you. Or, join clubs with shared interests.

 

You'll also face some scrutiny about your lifestyle. Single people are still looked down upon by most people. You will occasionally have to defend your position, like you are on trial. But, then you'll also see the true colors of the people around you. Some will staunchly defend you, and others will have an open mind. I highly recommend reading a book called Singled Out by Bella DePaulo. That will give you good arguments to support being single.

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drjohnhwatson

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)?

 

I'm not SUPER old, but technically considered an adult at 27 (even if I don't feel like I'm an adult), so I'll give this a go.  I'm super duper lonely.  It's so difficult to find people to be with.  I have to find someone who is OK with dating an asexual, which the options are pretty slim.  Basically just other asexuals.  And then it's difficult to throw out a lure and get a bite there, as well.  Actually basically impossible.  On my end, anyway.  Not saying for everyone, haha.

 

Do you miss out on a lot?

 

I feel like I do.  I get jealous seeing everyone out and about all happy.  I'm introverted too, though, so that doesn't help.

 

Do you ever wish you were heterosexual?

 

Yes, I do.  How sad is that?  Everything would just be so much more simple.  I wouldn't have to trawl around online--for years now, three years going on--just looking and hoping.  I could just go out to a bar, or something like that.  It just seems...easier.  It'd be easier on dating sites, anyway.

 

How do you deal with being alone?

 

I collect cats.  I'm up to 17 now; fingers crossed for 18 next week.

 

:D.  A joke.  Ah...I don't know.  I trawl around online and spew about how bitter I am?  Haha.  Feels like that, anyway.  Surf the internet, write, watch things.  Just engage more with my hobbies, you know.

 

Do you have pets?

 

I have a thoroughly unruly calico cat named Raffles, yes.

 

Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma)

 

Well, the odds of pregnancy are probably significantly lower, especially if you're single.  Less worry of STDs.  If you prefer being on your own, it's easier, especially if you're an aromantic.  If you've been raped or something, there's probably less of a chance for you to trigger yourself with memories when having sex and so forth.  As...you might not be having sex, being asexual.

 

Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own?

 

Never say never.  You can always get someone to carry your child for you if you're someone with those bits; I mean, if you've got the cash for it.  Or you can bite the bullet and just go for it until you're pregnant if you're sex repulsed but have the parts to carry a baby.  don't really like children, even though they seem to adore me and flock to me on-sight, and the thought of carrying a baby conjures up the image of the chest-busters from the Alien franchise.

 

:P.

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cijay
On ‎26‎/‎06‎/‎2017 at 9:45 AM, Bazinga said:

Hello everyone. I am currently 16 and have recently realized that I was asexual. At first, I was elated that I finally found a label for myself. However, it dawned on me that I would never be able to get married or have children (I'm aromantic as well). I never wanted marriage or children, but I thought I did because of societal norms. However, I now feel deeply saddened because I know that Ill never be able to live a "normal" life like that of my friends. It's probably just the teenager in me speaking, but, I truly want to be able to fit in or at least relate to everyone around me. I have always felt isolated for my entire life, and I just need some guidance from adults who have been through it all.

 

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)? Do you miss out on a lot? Do you ever wish you were heterosexual? How do you deal with being alone? Do you have pets? Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma) Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own?

 

I don't mean for this to be a pity thread; I am merely looking for guidance and honest answers. All the best.

As others have pointed out  being asexual does not mean that you can't get married and have kids but if you don't want to (I never did either) we'll fast forward 20 more years for you and say that's what you did. As for "normal", what is normal? Through rose coloured glasses, 'normal' is one dad, one mom, they have kids, one or both parents work. There are many people and families that aren't in those boundaries and they're not 'abnormal'. I'm really glad that you acknowledged that it's the teenager in you speaking because so many of your friends here are well passed/survived our teens, please take comfort in our wisdom. Our stories are all different but we're here to show you that it's survivable :) 

 

You will relate to people around you, just find your crowd. Any isolation comes from you. What do you like to do? (Ex: for me - volunteering, reading, sign language, chatting on line and off, writing, traveling and I love musicals.) For the next few years, it'll be hard because all your friends are going to be in your business. (I had very few friends and actually, many years later my BFF and I found out we're both asexual!) If your friends start taking you to task, distance yourself from them and take them in smaller doses. Now - to answer your questions:

 

I have never wished I were heterosexual.

 

The question of loneliness is a tough one. It has nothing to do with my asexuality (I just don't think I was meant to be half of a couple because I'm so comfortable in my own company) but there was a big change when my mum was killed by a drunk driver. Being a party of one and my family all had someone else to talk to - forgetting about me. I pursued the civil suit on my own, I was on my own for the court case/sentencing, victim groups and taking mum's ash back home to Scotland. So while I can't say that I'm not lonely at times and part of that is not having a partner/children, it's mostly just because they have left me to my own and that has nothing to do with asexuality. Even if you do have a partner, there's nothing saying they'll last for as long as you need them.

 

Do I miss out on a lot? Others might see it but I actually see that I get to experience more. Here's where we get to the benefits. If I'd had a more 'normal' life, I wouldn't have been able to travel everywhere I've been, seen the things I have seen and have the things I have. If you're tied to someone, you can't just decide one day that you want to go to Disneyworld and book the flights for the following week. I couldn't just get up in the morning on my day off and not have to check with someone else what they're doing or tell them where I'm going. Many attached people would argue that they don't have to check in either but any time I'm with them, they have to phone home at least once to basically tell them where they are and when they'll be home. YES, the drama is minimal. A bit there when your parents are older. My parents were married for 52 years but dad died alone.  But if you've got someone else giving you drama, negative energy and grief, you can cut them off.

 

I'm not sad I never had kids. I have a BEAUTIFUL niece who will be a bride next month and I've been asked to stand in place of her mother who passed away last year. My friends all have kids and I've been their aunt for years and years. I taught kindergarten overseas for a few years (something I could never have done had I been tied down) and there are tons of kids in my life.

 

I have had various cats since I was 10. Monstah is 13 and he'll be my last cat 'til I can't travel anymore because it's hard to find someone to take care of my cat/place now that my mother is gone. I have my own place...decorated how I want and nobody to move things around to where I don't want them. I always laugh that my stove is right around the corner from the door so when I come in, I put my sunglasses on the stove. This way I always know where to look for them and they will always be there. If I didn't live alone I couldn't do that because someone would move them to cook something or they'd melt my specs.

 

It's not going to be easy for the next few years - best thing is to find passions in other areas to immerse in. You will make friends who don't just have school/other friends in common.

 

 

 

 

 

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Mink_Seragaki

For me, it can sometimes be lonely as I watch everyone around me find someone to date or get married.  I don't necessarily wish I was heterosexual; I just wish I was some sort of --sexual because it would make it easier to potentially find a partner to live with for the rest of my life.   I deal with being alone by working on my own life and playing with my pets...which answers the pet question.  I have three dogs and a rabbit. :)

 

On the subject of children:  Hell-to-the-no.  I have never desired children in my own life.  I kind of want to be an aunt/uncle, but never a mother/father.  I like children and I can't wait to teach, but I like giving the kids back at the end of the day even better.

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darkgreen

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)? No. Not really. I am introverted and so I have few to begin with that are really close. 

 

Do you miss out on a lot? Not at all. I get to work, live, do what I want when I want. No leash. :)

 

Do you ever wish you were heterosexual? Eh. Heteroromantic. I do not really care.

 

How do you deal with being alone? Surround yourself with people who care about you for who you are. Live your life. Be happy.

 

Do you have pets? Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma) No relationship drama! :)

 

Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own? Not really. 

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TON

It's not difficult for me, since I don't really have people asking me questions regarding my sexual orientation, or whether I'm in a relationship. It might take time, but you'll learn to accept yourself. ^^

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Steve M

I often find it difficult being an asexual adult, as I long for a relationship, just without the sex.  I am very introverted, and find it hard to talk to people, and I have only met a few asexuals in real life, and I won't date or have a relationship with a sexual person now, as I have been cheated on by three partners (probably because I wouldn't have sex).  I am also the butt of many jokes from two of my brothers because of my sexuality, or lack thereof, and it gets tiresome.  I am glad that I have found AVEN, and other asexual groups and sites, as I feel a little less abnormal.

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Polygon
On 6/26/2017 at 11:45 AM, Bazinga said:

Is it lonely being an asexual later on in life (if you are aromantic or single)? Do you miss out on a lot? Do you ever wish you were heterosexual? How do you deal with being alone? Do you have pets? Are there any benefits? (Not having to deal with relationship trauma) Do you feel sad that you wont have children of your own?

 

I don't mean for this to be a pity thread; I am merely looking for guidance and honest answers. All the best.

Not lonely because I've got good friends, family, and occasional relationships (but I stress that last part is not more important or meaningful than the first two). Being asexual shouldn't really hold you back much in that respect. I don't feel like I miss out on much, and I don't wish I was heterosexual. Loneliness sucks, but I'm thankful it's not something I have to deal with too often. Children are massive emotional and financial investments that I don't think I'm capable of dealing with anyway, so no loss there. 

 

Not having to deal with relationship trauma? HA, if only that were the case. Get a group of people and there's gonna be mayhem! :lol:

 

And you can totally live a "normal" life if you want to. Kids and marriage and such are not the end all be all of living--there's so much awesome stuff out there that can enrich lives. I hope you don't feel too discouraged about all this; just know that being ace does not automatically mean being lonely.

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Yato

It is only a struggle if you are with a non-asexual. Compromising and such can be a drag sometimes. 

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Alanxo

No. It's a blessing. Like a heaven. Peaceful. 

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daisylove

OP I'm in my mid-fifties and I look at what you have as a gift. I didn't realize till later in life that I was Ace so I was subjected to societal expectations that I be in romantic, sexual relationships with men, and spent a good part of my adult life trying to do that and when it didn't work wondering what was wrong with me. I wasted so much of my life doing this, and its time that I cant get back. 

 

Even if it means a little more alone time for you, look at this as the freedom to do as you wish. I don't know where you stand on such things as volunteerism, but what about spending your time volunteering or helping others as a healthy way to connect? Even if you aren't particularly outgoing, short term volunteer commitments (they are everywhere) might be the ticket. 

 

I'm super grateful that I no longer feel compelled to fit in with the norm. There really needs to be much more awareness-raising with asexuality though (ah ha! another thing  to do!) because there are so many people out there that are painfully ignorant still. 

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Yebanth

I only realised I was Ace a few years ago, and I admit that prior to that I kind of felt lonely, broken, sad - why was I the only single one all the time.. those kind of thought processes.  But after finding out that I am Asexual, and having gained an understanding that 'nope my brain don't work that way and I have probably given people the cold shoulder without realising it' I have also come to terms with the fact that there is nothing wrong with my life and in actual fact I can mould it to suit me!!  

 

I am a very social person  - but I have such a lovely group of close friends that I don't miss out on the things like cinema, visiting places, holidays, meals out, time in a cafe/pub etc etc  because all my friends and family are lovely.  I realise that possibly sounds very selfish to just join in with them, but I know the limits and do not impose on any of my friends as they all are in relationships and i understand they don't want me tagging along all the time - but that's ok - because I am just as happy having some quiet time with my cat, and a good book!!! - but -  i also know that if I needed to talk to someone, to not be on my own  i could get in touch with my family and friends and they would be there in a shot.. They are all lovely people and often invite me to join them anyway, which I really appreciate!!  So, i guess in a way I have the best of both worlds and can live my life in a way that works for me....!!

 

 

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Gloomy

It hasn't been difficult for me. Personally I like being alone. I've recently moved into an apartment by myself and got a cat, and I'm having the time of my life. Though like others have said you can still have friends if you don't like being alone.

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