Talking to boyfriend about asexuality?

[mimi3g]

Hello there, here is my story, I'll try to keep it short. Also, I am still very new to asexuality and still determining where exactly I fall on the spectrum.

 

I started developing feelings for my best guy friend at the very end of the school year (college). After we both went home for the summer we continued talking and both confessed that we liked each other. Unfortunately we live over 5 hours away, but we decided to give dating a try anyways. We've been dating for almost two months, but only one week of that has actually been in person, the rest is a long distance relationship.

 

He knows I'm religious and waiting until marriage, so he started asking about where the boundaries were to make sure he didn't do something that crossed the line or made me uncomfortable. This resulted in many discussions, that eventually led to me realizing that I view things regarding sex differently than most people do, which I was not aware of. My boyfriend was convinced that I was sexually repressed due to religion and I will eventually become more comfortable with this stuff over time, but I wasn't so convinced. I have been doing a lot of research lately which is what led me here to this community (and it's been SUPER helpful!)

 

So in conclusion, I am almost certain that I fall on the asexuality spectrum, many things I've read here click with how I've been feeling. But I'm really anxious about talking to my boyfriend about it. It doesn't feel right to talk about it over texting. I am going to see him this Saturday and then spend a few days with him, so I will have an opportunity to talk in person soon, but it is still constantly in the back of my mind. I don't know how to talk to him about it while making sure he doesn't get upset or stressed, because I am still figuring things out myself too. I still love him and want him in my life, and I don't want this to ruin that. Any advice would be super helpful! Thank you!!

[Lord Jade Cross]

Its not what many would like to hear but you cant really control how your partner will react to certain news, especially if they have already convinced themselves that they have everyhing figured out and its just a matter of time and things falling into place as accepting a different reality will be that much more difficult.

 

All you can do is hope and prepare for the best but expect the worse.