mori child Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 If you are like me, you sometimes worry that as an asexual person you will end up sad and alone while all your friends drift away and get married. In order to counteract these worries, I try and imagine an idealized adult life in which I am still asexual, but also completely fabulous and fulfilled in my life. For example: I live in a beautiful city with plenty of things to do I teach language classes and love my students, feel confident in my abilities I live five minutes away from two very close friends with whom I sometimes cuddle or have deep conversations I have gotten to know a lovely family in the neighborhood. They invite me over to have dinner and play board games once a week. I look after their small children sometimes I volunteer with immigrants or a mental health center two evenings a week I often travel on the weekends and meet up with a more distant friend. We go to cafes and go window shopping together I am involved in the arts scene, know a lot of people in the community I write music in my spare time and release it online to my small but adoring fan base I host a philosophy and religion discussion group at my house once a month I have one or two roommates who share my tastes in film and anime. We spend much time procrastinating while watching movies together Etc, etc. What are your idealized asexual futures? Link to post Share on other sites
Éadweard Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 One bedroom apartment in the city with lots and lots of friends. Link to post Share on other sites
that._.irish._.guy Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 I live in the mountains, with a beautiful view of a valley, in a wood lodge. I live with about 20 rescued dogs and a few horses Fighter pilot with 3 tours under my belt, and now is a flight instructor I own a few old cars and work on them most of the day Still, competes in rally races and hosts some of the roads around my home And every weekend I just fly my plane to where ever I want to go Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 I haven't given it much thought, but here's my list so far: - I own a tiny, cozy home (one that I possibly either designed or remodeled myself) - I own a couple of pets - I have a fish pond, a small garden, and rose bushes in my backyard - I have a small group of friends to get together with - I am working as a speech therapist at a really nice facility, and I feel competent at what I do and fulfilled - I may be married, to someone who I share a lot in common with, and we have a very peaceful marriage Link to post Share on other sites
Naali Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 - Live up in the north west US, maybe my family's home of Washington or to Oregon. Suburbs with a backyard fruit and vegetable garden and a giant apple tree. Near the woods would be nice. With a river or lake near too. -Have some fur babies; two dogs, two cats, maybe a bird. Or more. -Couple close friends nearby -Find a QPR I'd be comfortable cuddling for days. -Concerts galore. -Big library nearby so I can satiate my desire to read more - fiction and nonfiction/history. -I have no career interests, so maybe somehow run an animal sanctuary. -Be able to travel around the world - Europe mostly. *drifts off* Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 - Own a fairly decent house with comfy, yet minimalistic furnishings (don't really have a desire for lavish decorations) - Maybe have a nice computer to play games on - Live in a safe community - Be able to see my parents and bro fairly often - Earn enough money to live fairly comfortably - Live a quiet and average life free from the drama of romance and such Link to post Share on other sites
Elftober Country Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Hmm... this is difficult but here goes... - Preferably not living in England. - Working freelance doing something more creative that I enjoy and doesn't "feel" like work. Perhaps a writer, photographer or artist. - I'd love to live in a wooded area by the sea in a nice quiet house. - I guess I would like a few more pets, perhaps a dog, a goat and a ferret. - I would like to be in a committed relationship with someone that shares my ideals and that I have a lot in common with. - It would be nice to be surrounded by a small group of friends and family. - A drama free life. - A HIGH SPEED INTERNET CONNECTION! Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 8 minutes ago, October Country said: - Preferably not living in England. - Working freelance doing something more creative that I enjoy and doesn't "feel" like work. Perhaps a writer, photographer or artist. - I'd love to live in a wooded area by the sea in a nice quiet house. - I guess I would like a few more pets, perhaps a dog, a goat and a ferret. - I would like to be in a committed relationship with someone that shares my ideals and that I have a lot in common with. It would be nice to be surrounded by a small group of friends and family. - A drama free life. - A HIGH SPEED INTERNET CONNECTION I really feel these - I Live in New Zealand or somewhere else progressive and beautiful - I have several close friends, maybe even live with some of them - I have a cat and a dog and feed lots of wild birdies outside - I have a job I enjoy that's low-stress - I have very few needs and the money I earn goes on rent, food and travel Link to post Share on other sites
SelRivers Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 - Get a full time job I can enjoy to become financially independent. - Find another asexual to have either a romantic relationship or qpr with (Don't know what i'd prefer tbh). - Live in a share house with friends. - For Australia to hurry up and get decent internet. - Find another hobby to be passionate about that isn't computer games and sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
rtlloyd98 Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 In 15 years I'd like... 1. To be lecturing Maths at a British University. 2. To live in a small flat in the middle of the city. 3. To live around the corner from a pub which trials new ales and bitters 4. Adopt a child who I teach and play sport and science with. 5. Campaign with the Labour party in my local constituency 6. Still in touch with close friends and family. Link to post Share on other sites
Whovianelf Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 1) To be a biomedical engineer so I can help others w/o cutting into them 2) Live in a house of my own design, probaly painted an eccentric color, has a spiral staircase, and other fun stuff like that 3) Live in Canada somewhere close to a city but far enough to have land to do what I please 4) Involved in different activities maybe a tennis league, and a board game club, go to some video game tournaments 5) Have plenty of close friends and maybe adopt a child 6) Try to find another asexual to be with 7) At least 1 dog and probably a ton of other pets Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Me, my backpack and a shitload of travelling. That would probably be the same regardless of orientation. Link to post Share on other sites
Pam just wants pancakes Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I haven't really given much thought to it because I've never pictured myself in the future. Tbh I think (hope) I'll die young as I've never dream of myself being old. But if I live past going to university I'd like to live in Germany in a big house so I can have many adopted dogs and a ferret. Also I would like to be a book illustrator and find other asexuals in real life so I can have friends like me. Besides that I guees I would like to travel and get tattoos. Link to post Share on other sites
Euna Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Just thinking about it makes me scared...not because of asexuality, but simply because I dislike transitions and changes and planning. Ideal future as I can imagine it now: Would like to have a really great friend, and/or be married to a guy (also asexual) who fills that role. Feel more comfortable in my job and able to take on more responsibilities Be able to take care of my parents if they need help Take changes in stride without anguish (lol) Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I'd love to live life on my own, making money off my art regularly plus in a career, maybe have a romantic or platonic partner with me but it's not a concern right now, no kids ever, some pets. I want to be an online famous artist like many I've seen Link to post Share on other sites
Kathleenah Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Hmmm... I want to have company. A man who is ideally asexual, and accepts me for me...complete with my insecurity issues and anxiety. Still living in Scotland but I want my own business, a small hotel most likely. More dogs. I have 3, but would like another 1 or 2, rescues obviously. And a hamster. I want a hamster! 😮 I want friends to go walking with, exploring nature and just generally relaxing If money was no object, I would also like a helicopter and a license to fly it oh, and I want to also take driving lessons and pass my test. And have a car. Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 -work as a tenured music professor -be surrounded by friends, family, students, and peers who are deeply involved in their passions -be physically/psychologically healthy -be financially stable -own a home that I can fill with musical instruments -never stop making music I think I'm open to the possibility of finding a life partner so long as my aro ace tendencies aren't an issue, but my emotional needs can be met quite well through friendship, so it isn't a huge goal for me. I'm feeling more and more open to the possibility of adopting a child someday too, but that's something I'm going to think more about after I have my doctorate and am financially stable. Link to post Share on other sites
QuirkyGeek Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 • Have a partner (unsure of whether that will be romantic or a qpp). • Adopt a kid or two or a few. • Get a good paying job and pursue my career successfully. • Keep in touch with family and friends. • Keeping good finances. • Not too stressed. • Get through University without too much trouble. • Have a nice home. • Get together with my friends often just to have fun. • I want time and motivation to do all the things I want to do. • I want a cat or two or a few. Link to post Share on other sites
orangecat Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 - A asexual partner ideally, but honest, "clean and tidy, a little bit of OCD" friends also fine, to live together until the day we die - A healthy body - Hopefully allowed to stay in the UK permanently (if this doesnt happen the rest below won't happen either) - Get a small detached house in the middle of really small village - Cat, lots of cats - One huge,huge,huge dog or two - Get a job that I like to do no matter about the pay near my retirement age - Able to drive, and just own a normal car Link to post Share on other sites
OliV Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 -I live with between one and three of my closest friends and am potentially married to one of them. - I am a professor of math or physics at a small school where I can do music in groups with students and other faculty - I have a house filled with music that I can do as much or little as I want since it is essential stress release for me - potentially adopt a child, if not have pets - live in the country, doesn't matter which country, just not densely populated. - have access to more densely populated places - get to do research I enjoy with students I enjoy, but do more teaching than anything else Link to post Share on other sites
Rhaenys Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 - No partners unless asexual / low sex drive. - Definitely no kids - I want to explore Venice for some reason. - Live in Asia for a year. - Gain weight - Maybe become an aid worker Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I have no ideal on any sexuality basis, just being an doing what I do in the moment and enjoy that moment whatever happens, happens, being content and stable in health i all that's important. It is often unrealistic to set extravagant goals which are never achievable and be depressed about what you've haven't done. Link to post Share on other sites
MagentaColouredTurtle Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I live in a beutiful metropoly I have a cool apartment I am in a platonic/romantic relationship with an amazing human being, who probably uses services of prostitutes I work in some field of science I have enough free time to read, travel and change the world Link to post Share on other sites
StrangeStory Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Asexuality means one less thing to worry about in life. So my list would be the usual stuff - money, health, warm climate - but it would exclude "married", "partner" etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Sea Lemon Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 - My mental health is stable - Still living where I am, but with a platonic partner (of any gender) - Still working in the same field, but doing more interesting stuff, and being paid enough to comfortably go part-time so I've got more time to myself - Adopt pets - I want cats, Staffies, Labradors and rats at some point (over the course of my whole life, definitely not all at once!). - Have lots of friends nearby - Get back into learning how to lead church services (I started last year but had to drop it because of health stuff) - Be an 'auntie' to any children my friends have Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 I think that at the moment I'm not doing well enough at anything to make any hopeful ideals for my future Link to post Share on other sites
Amaretti Posted June 28, 2017 Share Posted June 28, 2017 Living somewhere warm either on the West Coast or overseas Making a living with my art A couple cats A close group of friends that all live nearby A romantic partner that loves to travel and go on spontaneous adventures No kidlets My mental health greatly improved Link to post Share on other sites
JayDee1212 Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Hmm...good question! Ideally.... -live in or near the city in a nice apartment -Be in a committed relationship with a romantic partner -Have a job in writing, business, administration.. just something comfortable I guess with a decent salary I can live off of -Do a lot of fun things like go to concerts, to the park, to the beach, skating, shows, plays, etc... -keep up with my writing and reading -Live close to my two best friends, my brother and my mom. Hang out with my best friend at least once a week, even when we're both married. -Have at least one pet, preferably something cuddly! Link to post Share on other sites
margot-rain Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 I wanna live in the countryside in a little cottage-style house with my Mum (so I can look after her when she's old). We would run a cat sanctuary together with fields at the back for donkeys and alpacas, and basically just a menagerie of animals lol! I also plan to adopt and/or foster children, probably special needs kids. I feel that would be really rewarding and give my life purpose. Link to post Share on other sites
drjohnhwatson Posted June 29, 2017 Share Posted June 29, 2017 Living in Scotland. Weather is nice there, close to other countries. Travelling every now and again and visiting sights and museums. Have written a few novels that people enjoy and it makes me enough money that I don't have to struggle to pay bills or worry. Be married to someone who loves me and I, in turn, love them. Have a bunch of animals and live in a cosy place that feels like home. Have more friends. Just be happy, honestly. Link to post Share on other sites
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