Member4445 Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 My family are very against me living with men, even male friends. But that's ok because living with people sends my anxiety levels sky high! I like to be able to walk to the kitchen and not have to unexpectedly meet anybody on the way. I had to move out of my parents house because I could hear noises and was worrying if they were normal or an intruder. I was literally a living anxious wreck for years. Yay Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I use my disability money to be able to afford a 1 bed flat because I mentally couldn't cope with living in a shared house. At university, having my own room/shower in a hotel turned halls of residence was bad enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 16 minutes ago, ThaHoward said: Better to run away than to... beat someone with a mace? Link to post Share on other sites
ThaHoward Posted June 26, 2017 Share Posted June 26, 2017 Serious? Like do you seriously believe it's not good to run away and get out of harms way than to try and hit someone with a mace? That's fucked up beyond much. Link to post Share on other sites
PhycBookGardenWorm Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 Depends how you think and feel GT. Everyone is raised different and that impacts us on various levels, it is not being raised right or wrong it is just how we are raised. It is just odd to most people to hear about how you were raised. As for your living situation it actually sounds pretty nice, you have solitude when you want it and if you want company (and you feel brave enough) you can easily get that too. The higher powers know that I am shy as hell when shoved in a situation with strangers but I can usually put on a front until I got a reading on the situation and the people and relax. I think that it will be a great experience for you and enjoy it as much as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 I guess you can say that I've only done mixed-gender living because I've only roomed with girls. My next housing situation will actually be the first time I've ever had a male roommate. (Found a dear friend who sees eye-to-eye with me on a lot of housing stuff.) Relevant story: for my final year of my Master's, I signed my lease as a "female" because I had no idea that I was going to start medical transition as soon as I did. I spent months worrying about how my random roommate was going to react when she saw someone who was starting to look rather male in her apartment. I actually talked the apartment staff into giving me the name of my roommate so I could contact her beforehand so she'd have some opportunity to flee if she was uncomfortable having a guy roommate. Turned out to be no problem at all, and she even told me that I was the best roommate she's ever had. On a similar note, my best friend is a straight/cis guy who lives with several women, and there's no problems. Personality plays a much bigger role in roommate compatibility than gender does if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted June 27, 2017 Share Posted June 27, 2017 14 hours ago, ThaHoward said: Serious? Like do you seriously believe it's not good to run away and get out of harms way than to try and hit someone with a mace? That's fucked up beyond much. Mace meaning pepper spray, not a mediaeval weapon Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 I am sharing this flat with two people and when one of them moved out (quit college, moved in with her new boyfriend, moved in a flat at the campus) we made a kind of casting to see who would fit into our group. I am very introvert, so I look for extroverts, we have one lawywer-to-be here and another one would result in the third person (=me) not getting into conversations, such stuff. One of my current flatmates is male. But, to be honest, I see a greater difference in our upbringing, the money our parents have, the monetary possibilities we have - he just went to Amsterdam for a week-end, once he and his family flew on flight miles to Washington for a week-end, and I am sitting here and throwing my last edibles together so I won't go hungry until I get my money tomorrow. One thing we had was that he only finds it natural to go with bare chests to the bathroom to take a shower, or when it's extremely hot, but at first he was baffled as he saw me without trousers. Or I had to tell him that dyeing my hair doesn't mean I hate my natural haircolour. I'd say that living with other people is a give and take, but with him, it's more a give, since I had to tell him who the Maoris are... But he'd tell you that I have a ban on talking about mummification when somebody, especially he, is eating. I can only tell you, that when you should happen to have a problem with a person, go and talk about it as soon as possible. Think of a tiny spark hitting dry material. Either you do something immediately or you'll have a forest fire on your hands. Some days will be good, some days will be bad, but you'll have that with people of all genders. Personally, I love playing games with my flatmates. You can let off steam over a round of cards, be really mean to each other, and after a few rounds everything is forgiven. I plan on getting my hands on a monopoly. >D Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 When I saw the title of this thread my first thought was that it was about people who mix genders in their own lives, how they live and express and identify. - whether it's being masculine one day and feminine another or mixing masculine and feminine together at the same time or whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
JayDee1212 Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 As someone who lived in a mixed- gender residence hall for 3 years in college, I think I have some insight! I lived right next door to a bunch of guys, it honestly wasn't too bad and eventually you do get used to it. At first I thought it would be super weird (random guys I barely know seeing me walk around in a towel in my way to the shower, in my sports bra on the way to the gym?!?) But it ended up being not a big deal at all. You actually quickly start to not even think about it, and I think living with roommates actually makes you very comfortable with that kind of thing (I can now change in front of pretty much anyone without thinking much of it) It might be a bit awkward at first, but soon you won't even think about it! I would Just find some nice people to live with who you feel comfortable with, and don't even consider rooming with someone if you don't feel comfortable or get a bad vibe from them. Link to post Share on other sites
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