Jump to content

Difference between sensual and sexual attraction ? (SEEKING EXPLICIT ANSWERS !)


Skyl

Recommended Posts

I'm demi-romantic and most likely asexual, and have urges to do sensual things with the person I have romantic feelings for (though I won't have an opportunity to act on them )

Does anyone experience sexual urges appearing only in sexually arousing situations ? For example only appearing after heavily-sensual activities like kissing, or after seeing the person naked etc ?

Link to post
Share on other sites

sexual attraction is separate from libido. you can still be asexual and have a sex drive that causes you to want to be with someone sexually because it is human nature. humans can naturally be sexually aroused without having an attraction to whoever/whatever it is. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
27 minutes ago, Starbucks Covfefe said:

sexual attraction is separate from libido. you can still be asexual and have a sex drive that causes you to want to be with someone sexually because it is human nature. humans can naturally be sexually aroused without having an attraction to whoever/whatever it is. 

my primary question is about the difference between sensual and sexual attraction.

I'm also pondering whether I could possibly experience sexual attraction or am already experiencing traces of it that I mistake for sensual attraction, so I was additionally asking if anyone experiences sexual attraction in that specific situation I described. 

Link to post
Share on other sites
Salted Karamel
1 hour ago, Skyl said:

I'm demi-romantic and most likely asexual, and have urges to do sensual things with the person I have romantic feelings for (though I won't have an opportunity to act on them )

Does anyone experience sexual urges appearing only in sexually arousing situations ? For example only appearing after heavily-sensual activities like kissing, or after seeing the person naked etc ?

Only in those situations? Idk about that, but my understanding is that experiencing sexual urges after being touched (consensually) in a sexual way or seeing sexually arousing things is pretty standard.

Link to post
Share on other sites

All I have to offer is my own experience:

 

I would consider myself to experience a good degree of sensual attraction; I enjoy touching, hugging, cuddling, and kissing without tongue. However, making out / kissing with tongue is what I consider to be a sexual activity for me and therefore has no positive impact on my mood. Similarly, seeing someone naked has no effect on me besides perhaps making me want to touch them more if they have smooth skin or making me nervous if I believe they may feel offended if I don't show interest. However, note that I don't experience sexual urges/desire towards any partnered activity, so maybe a more sex-favorable asexual may relate more to what you describe.

Link to post
Share on other sites
kaseythefairy

All the quotes are from this topic if you want to check it out.  Although I have some quotes here so you don't have to go get lost in the thread if you don't want to, I highly recommend it. These are just few quotes I found relevant. I hope this gives you more answers than questions.

 

(--NOTE: These quotes have quotes within them that aren't transferring over. So I'm inserting the text myself.)

 

On 4/17/2016 at 7:05 PM, FaerieFate said:

What is Sexual Attraction? Sexual Desire?

Sexual Attraction is a concept that is not well understood by asexuals, making it hard for asexuals to realize that they don't experience it, but many AVENites attempt to discuss it and gain an understanding of it here and here.


-QUOTE-
Sexual Attraction - Attraction based on sexual desire or quality arousing such.

Sexual Desire - An interest or drive to seek out sexual activities with a person.
------------

 

It a confusing concept to those that don't experience it, but here's a few analogies that will help you understand what it may seem like to someone that doesn't experience sexual attraction:

  1. Colorblindness
  2. Coffee
  3. Invisible Elephants
  4. Tacos and Hotdogs: (The guy on a juice cleanse represents Asexuality and the one that likes the toppings is demisexuality)

 

On 4/17/2016 at 7:07 PM, FaerieFate said:

What is Romantic/Aesthetic/Sensual/Platonic Attraction? Could that affect my (A)sexuality?

Romantic, Sensual, Platonic, and Aesthetic Attraction in no way affects or determines your sexuality. It is not uncommon for asexuals to have differing romantic and sexual identities.Most asexuals don't even bother labelling their platonic and sensual identities. Aesthetic attraction only affects who you find nice to look at. For more different types of attraction or for more about sexual and romantic attraction, these videos might help. The previously mentioned link also has more resources and descriptions of other asexual terms linked in the videos.

 

-QUOTE-

Romantic Attraction - The attraction and desire for a romantic relationship with a person.

Aesthetic Attraction - When your only attracted to the way a person looks and desire nothing more.

Sensual Attraction - When you're attracted so someone through your senses (other than looks). This may mean that you're attracted to the smell of a person or you want to be touched or hugged by a person.

Platonic Attraction - The desire to be really good friends with someone and nothing more

------------

 

On 4/17/2016 at 7:10 PM, FaerieFate said:

What is Libido?

I considered writing my own bit for libido, but I think that this link explains it better, which I'll quote below.

 

-QUOTE-

libido (sex drive) is a desire to feel sexual pleasure. Libido is separate from sexual attraction. It is not exclusive to sexuals, just as non-libido is not exclusive to asexuals.

In the context of asexuality, sex drive is an important concept because some asexuals have a libido but lack sexual attraction - an undirected sex drive - while others have little or no sex drive. This is the main reason some asexuals masturbate and some do not, and can confuse people who either do not fully understand the definition of asexuality, or do not see sex drive and sexual attraction as different things.

------------

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I'd say I have quite a strong sensual attraction - I can imagine touching or gently kissing someone's neck and shoulders after they've been in the sun and the skin is hot... and many other things but it does not arouse me - ever - to the point where I'd be desperate for them to have sex with me. Sex kind of ruins it for me, I never really want it.

It's like a different kind of 'arousal', more like a closeness-skin-to-skin comfort thing, there's nothing urgent, pressurizing about it, no build-up. Imagine someone giving you a wonderful back massage, with essential oils, in a room full of steam and you'd be just melting away and surrendering to the sensations. If the person massaging me suggested "well... maybe I could give you a bit more... you know *wink wink*" - I'd just get off the bed/chair and walk away :D      

Link to post
Share on other sites
22 hours ago, Skyl said:

I'm demi-romantic and most likely asexual, and have urges to do sensual things with the person I have romantic feelings for (though I won't have an opportunity to act on them )

Does anyone experience sexual urges appearing only in sexually arousing situations ? For example only appearing after heavily-sensual activities like kissing, or after seeing the person naked etc ?

As a someone who has experience sexual attraction 2 times. I will tell you the difference between arousal vs sexual attraction vs libido. 

By my understanding asexuals and sexuals can get aroused by touch and erotica (I asked many people here on AVEN, so I take it for a fact).

Now, according to my experience, sexual attraction leads to sexual desire (because attraction means evokes your desires), this desire is not like I want to brush my teeth, but I want to eat (desire is not simply wanting like I want to do my homework or chores, but you really want it like eating when you are hungry).

Actually there is a good metaphor in my opinion which would easily represent this (arousal vs attraction). When you see/smell food saliva might be produced, but the act of saliva being in your mouth does not make you hungry. It is the same with arousal, arousal by itself does not make you experience sexual attraction even if the arousal is caused by senses. When you are hungry, saliva will be produced automatically (however, at some case it does not, and it is normal because some people only produce saliva via senses). it is the same with sexual attraction, sexual attraction to a person by itself will produce an arousal (however, at some case it does not, and it is normal because some people get aroused via senses only even though they experience sexual desire).

You might give an argument that libido is the cause for sexual attraction, but it is not from my experience (I have fluid libido). So even if high libido like me at this moment, I still do not experience sexual attraction around people, but I want to jerk off. (it is like asking why homosexual doesn't want to have sex with opposite sex since he has a libido).

Ironically, I have experienced my second sexual attraction when I had low libido.

 

Now coming back to "difference between sensual attraction and sexual"

so since sexual attraction is explained then we have just replace sexual with sensual. So sensual attraction would be a desire to hug.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Sensual attraction/desire could be the desire to hug, touch, or kiss someone, as some examples, but it's separate from sexual attraction/desire when it doesn't extend into sexual activity. I could want to make out with someone, but if they took their clothes off I would probably feel no desire to touch their genitals.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a hard time differentiating this stuff myself. Especially when it goes into the murky waters where sex does occur. But I'm finding that I would cave for the sake of my partner at the time, who would get very upset if I wanted to touch or kiss with nothing following it. He'd call me a tease.even tho my intents are not sexual.

Link to post
Share on other sites
11 hours ago, kaseythefairy said:

All the quotes are from this topic if you want to check it out.  Although I have some quotes here so you don't have to go get lost in the thread if you don't want to, I highly recommend it. These are just few quotes I found relevant. I hope this gives you more answers than questions.

 

(--NOTE: These quotes have quotes within them that aren't transferring over. So I'm inserting the text myself.)

 

 

 

 

Thanks for the promo! Sorry about the quotes being hard to deal with, but it really makes the thread easier to read :P

Link to post
Share on other sites
Someone Else

Sensual seems to be visual, and perhaps various elements of foreplay or making out.  But the foreplay wouldn't be the foreplay, it'd be the main attractions.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...