I'm not quite sure where I belong in the romantic spectrum

[Maurren]

Hi, I quite confused. I'm not really sure if I'm an aromantic because I used to have crushes but I usually just like them because of how they look or because they are nice to me. I mean I sometimes imagine kissing them before but I never really thought I wanted to date them. And once, I actually thought I fell in love with a girl who I was once close with, but when I was rereading some of our messages it seemed to me like I was pissed because she gives her attention to someone else now, but before that I rarely even notice her. And then I thought I liked someone but I'm afraid I only liked them sexually because I get really pissed off when they get so clingy. I started to think I'm an aromantic because I'm not really interested to be in a romantic relationship or get married but I like reading romantic novels. So I guess I need help? 

[Member5732]

I think it's pretty normal, not a problem. You may be an aromantic and you can still have aesthetical attraction or crushes on someone and other thoughts you mentioned. If you're not interested in being in a romantic relationship and feel like you don't want to be in one, you are aromantic. Instead of being confused, I suggest you to go through the forums and find the answers that might help you and then again you can ask whatever pops up in your mind.  

 

And welcome to AVEN! Have a cake! 

[Éadweard]

Why do you feel you are required to attach an extra "romantic" label to yourself?

[LemonTheDestroyer]

On 6/25/2017 at 7:08 AM, Just like Jughead said:

Why do you feel you are required to attach an extra "romantic" label to yourself?

I of course can't speak on behalf of anyone else, but I can take a guess based on my own thoughts: having that extra label helps me define myself. It helps me understand who I am and brings a sense of peace to me. Trying to figure it out is tough, and not knowing is worse! But having the labels and being able to say, with confidence, "I know who I am!" Can make all the difference

Once again, this is purely based off of me and how I feel and is only a guess on to how others might feel. But it does give an answer to your question!

[Maurren]

On 6/25/2017 at 7:08 PM, Just like Jughead said:

Why do you feel you are required to attach an extra "romantic" label to yourself?

Because if I only say, I'm pansexual, someone might mistake me as being a panromantic as well, which I'm not. I fully identify myself as an aromantic now, and people not knowing I am an aromantic while knowing me as a pansexual, might mislead them. And like LemonTheDestroyer said, it makes me feel that I know myself well.