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What is it like to be demigender?


QuirkyGeek

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I'm sorry if this seems rude or anything. I'm curious to how people feel with being demigender. Like, is it feeling like you're kind of one gender and just going with it? I don't understand it completely when it's described on other websites, so I'm hoping you guys can explain what it actually feels like. I know this isn't easy to explain, so just give it a try. I'm wondering if maybe I'm demigender, since I'm okay with my gender assigned at birth, but don't quite feel the same as other girls. Is that what it is to be demigender? Please share below!

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AVEN #1 fan

demiboy is like being a boy,  but an "odd" boy,  bc you don't fit 100% in the standards of what society thinks a boy should look like.  so yeah, it's like being a androgynous,  feminine or unisexy guy.

 

 

Demigirl is basically the same, it's being a masculine,  androgynous or unisex girl that doesn't fit in the social norms.

 

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jehoshabeath

I consider myself a demigirl.  I'm sure that everyone's experience is unique; for me it feels like knowing that I'm a female, but when I try to think of myself as a woman, I feel stressed/awkward/icky inside.

 

I'm content when I can research information and explore nature.  At these times, I feel sort of like an invisible observer - someone you can't see, but who feels and thinks deeply inside.  I do a lot of writing and drawing from the perspective of both female and male characters.  I like to explore their experiences and feelings.  When it comes to myself, I envision myself as being a young lady.  But usually, I'm more interested in the coolness of the sky, the brightness of the stars, and the vastness of the ocean. 

 

Physically, I feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I know that it's common to feel that way when you're growing up, but I've continued to feel uneasy and I'm in my 30's now.  I don't feel that I'm a man, but I also don't feel like a woman. I still "feel" like I have the soul of a girl.  I wish I had a genderless body to match that.

 

A few years ago, I tried to accept being female. I made some close female friends who were kind and supportive.  I spent time with them and tried to do the things that they did. But I felt so...uncomfortable.  I wasn't interested in the things they liked.  I didn't struggle with the things they struggled with.  I didn't feel comfortable focusing on my outward appearance and felt unhappy when other people did.  I grew more and more stressed, but I couldn't explain it.  There were a lot of factors involved - being asexual, aromantic, introvert, anxiety issues, etc - but I think gender was part of it, too.  

 

More recently, I've tried not to force myself to do, like, or be certain things just because of people's expectations.  I want to be honest about the disconnect and pain that I experience regarding my gender.  As a Christian, I want to honor God as my Creator and be honest with Him about how I feel.  I know that I can trust Him with my tears and joys.  So being a demigirl, for me, means that I feel like I'm a girl even though something feels very "off" and being patient with myself in the midst of the confusion.  

 

I hope that helps :) 

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For me being a demiboy means that I'm almost a boy but not quite. To explain that more I suppose it's like looking at girls and going "nuh uh, not me", then looking at neutral people and thinking "well.....no not me either" and then finally looking at boys and thinking "I'm mostly like them but not quite". Say gender is a scale from boy to girl, well my bead is nearly at boy but it stopped before it reached it. 

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Demigender people have a milder form of dysphoria but they still feel somewhat connected to their biological sex. However if they're trans but only feel somewhat connected to that, then they have a greater degree of dysphoria. Dysphoria still affects both demigender people alike.

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AVEN #1 fan
3 hours ago, CapaldianEra said:

Demigender people have a milder form of dysphoria but they still feel somewhat connected to their biological sex. However if they're trans but only feel somewhat connected to that, then they have a greater degree of dysphoria. Dysphoria still affects both demigender people alike.

Demigirls can be AMAB too. What makes a demigirl is gender non conformity.

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Just now, AVEN #1 fan said:

Demigirls can be AMAB too. What makes a demigirl is gender non conformity.

I know, I already said that. :mellow:

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I consider myself a demigirl, although there are still a few gender-y things I'm trying to figure out. I guess it feels like I'm in between female and non-binary (or maybe agender) if that makes any sense? Like, I definitely could say that I'm a girl, but also when I think of myself in terms of "woman" or "female" it doesn't feel right, but on the other hand this also happens when I think of myself as non-binary or agender. I've kind of just decided that I'm somewhere in between "girl" and "not girl" because that's the closest I've gotten to identifying myself completely.

 

As a person, I don't really put much emphasis on gender for myself, and it doesn't affect much of my thought process or decision making. That's probably why I'm okay with still not being 100% sure what gender I am through and through.

 

Like you said, I am comfortable with being called a girl, although it doesn't feel the same for me as I imagine it does for other people.

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  • 1 year later...

I've only recently found the term demigirl, but the more I think about it the more it seems to fit.

 

There are lots of little things, but I think the biggest is that being directly associated with female things make me uncomfortable. For example, I'm fine with being called a girl but for some reason any other similar things (being called a woman, lady, ma'am, miss or pretty much anything of that nature) makes me feel very uncomfortable. Also, I don't hate my boobs enough to want to get rid of them but I always think they look strange, think that they should be smaller, and feel really uncomfortable when anyone else acknowledges their existence. Similar situation with periods.

 

All these feminine things make me somewhat uncomfortable, but not enough that I feel like I'm a completely different gender. I don't feel like a woman but I do have a tendency toward certain traditionally feminine things like dresses, jewelry, and makeup (or anything else cute, colorful, or sparkly). I also found that I have no real preference in pronouns; whether someone calls me he, she, or they will not matter to me nearly as much as literally any other part of their sentence.

 

Basically, I like feminine things but I don't feel like I am female. I don't feel like a male either, but I'm not genderless. 

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DuranDuranfan
On 7/2/2017 at 12:24 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Demigirls can be AMAB too. What makes a demigirl is gender non conformity.

Sooo, a girl that’s a tomboy is a demigirl? 

 

I only ask because I’ve always been a tomboy, and even as a cis-woman I don’t conform to what society expects of cis-women. The only thing feminine about me is my hair. I like it long so I can braid it but other than that, I only wear dresses or skirts for special occasions. Every other days, it’s mens jeans, overalls and shorts. I have more action figures than barbie dolls, and I more prefer action movies than “chick flicks”.

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I thought it had more to do with how the brain filters and organizes reality. For example, brain activity in men tends to run from front to back and back to front, so a lot of spatial, analytical, and aggressive thought patterns...but not always. It's just a tendency. Brain activity in women tends to run from side to side, so more language, intuition, and compassion...but not always. It's just a tendency. Since I've had to go outside my comfort zone and exercise lots of social thinking the last two years, my brain may be running in all directions fairly evenly....

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no-longer-in-use
1 hour ago, DuranDuranfan said:

Sooo, a girl that’s a tomboy is a demigirl? 

 

I only ask because I’ve always been a tomboy, and even as a cis-woman I don’t conform to what society expects of cis-women. The only thing feminine about me is my hair. I like it long so I can braid it but other than that, I only wear dresses or skirts for special occasions. Every other days, it’s mens jeans, overalls and shorts. I have more action figures than barbie dolls, and I more prefer action movies than “chick flicks”.

No, gender expression doesn't equal gender identity. You can be a masculine/androgynous woman.

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12 hours ago, MissMinmi said:

There are lots of little things, but I think the biggest is that being directly associated with female things make me uncomfortable. For example, I'm fine with being called a girl but for some reason any other similar things (being called a woman, lady, ma'am, miss or pretty much anything of that nature) makes me feel very uncomfortable.

I’m a trans demiboy and I feel similar but opposite. I’m fine with boy but not really man and other things. (I often refer to myself as only trans or a trans guy but never trans man (okay actually except in those super rare times I flux into man instead of demiboy))

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no-longer-in-use
4 hours ago, ReyGraves said:

I’m a trans demiboy and I feel similar but opposite. I’m fine with boy but not really man and other things. (I often refer to myself as only trans or a trans guy but never trans man (okay actually except in those super rare times I flux into man instead of demiboy))

Same, I'm fine with boy, guy, gentleman, etc., but not man.

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  • 2 months later...

I'm female demifluid, so at times i feel gender-fluid leaning more towards masculine but not male, so at times i dont feel any gender fully and i feel dysphoric towards my very feminine figure and like i should have a less female figure, other times i feel fully female.

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I feel as though these terms have changed quite a bit since last reading this thread from years ago.  I can definitely can be demigirl as a male, though agender is much more accountable for personal gender identity, a sense of demitranssexuality for a lack of compact wording.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Sorry to impose, this is my experience. Ok so I've only recently came across the word, demigirl and when i read the description it felt right but now I'm not that sure. Sometimes i really like things i associate with feminine, and sometimes i really don't. I've always gone by she/her pronouns but almost always (or i would feel) excluded from my female classmates chats and outings. My teacher doesn't really group me with the other girls either. And sometimes it feels right but other time i get mildly offended (i don't rlly mind). I have a group of friends and most of them are male. Based on one of the people that shared, i have also either fluctuated between the two or experienced both at the same time.

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  • 3 months later...
TheRavenclaw2

I usually identify as a pretty androgynous-looking female, but  sometimes there are days when she/her pronouns make me feel really uncomfortable. My friends is they/them for me on these  days. Does this make me a demigirl? 

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  • 10 months later...
TrustTheCloak

Hmmm, have been considering the term demigender for a little while now

I feel like I am somewhere between nonbinary/genderqueer and agender.

I have a gender... but not really full one. Kind of half there, it feels almost.. semi-transparent? Is this making any sense?

A lot of people are saying that demigender is between one gender another, like demiboy and demigirl... so is between nonbinary/genderqueer and agender still demigender? Considering that agender is the lack of gender...

Aaahhhh, cOnFuSiOn T-T

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This thread has been inactive for a long time and is now being locked. If anyone would like to discuss the topic further, feel free to start a new thread about it.

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