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What does this mean?


Vanillla

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So I know that I'm asexual because I've never experienced sexual attraction or ever want to have sex but I don't know what my romantic orientation is. Basically I've been in love with guys and I've wanted a relationship with them with hugging and kissing and holding hands. But at the same time I've wanted to hold hands with and hug and kiss my best girl friends and girls I admire but not in a way that is romantic or sexual? And not like for really long, because when U like a guy I know I could hug them like all night or something. Like I don't want to be in a relationship with a girl nor have I ever been in love with one but I've held hands with my besties and sometimes I had the feeling of wanting to kiss them because suddenly I thought they have nice lips or something like their lips look nice but it was not a sexual or romantic feeling? Also I've been in a friendship before where I was literally obsessed with my best friend and looking back I feel kind of crazy. Like I wanted to be the only friend she had. Also there was a girl two years older than me who I thought was really beautiful and nice and that her face was perfect and I admired her a lot like I wasn't in love with her but at one point I caught myself thinking that I wanted to kiss her but not in a romantic or sexual way.. I don't know what that means I'm honestly confused... I'm a girl btw.

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The girl crushes you're talking about sound like an aesthetic thing and probably based around looking up to/ wanting to be like them, whereas your guy ones sound romantic. It's easy to over analyze the crush thing, but you already seem to know what feels romantic and what doesn't. There are plenty of my girlfriends who like a hug and hold hands out sometimes. It's not my thing as I'm touch shy, but even I know that kind of affection exists in platonic relationships, especially amongst girls.  The obsession you talk about is more of an issue as intense relationships with jealously like that are never healthy and don't last, but they do also happens in platonic friendships. Like I said, you seem to know already. Trust your own feelings, they'll guide you :cake:

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