My question

[Scorrar]

Hey Everyone,

 

I've spent most of my life as an outsider, someone who people get along with but isn't on the invite list. As a kid I used to read books and magazines and when it was a thing the internet to explore the world, so my idea of sexuality was more Archie than reality. As a young teenager I had more then one girlfriend, it never meant anything but I always thought that was because I haden't done enough, that I wasn't old enough. I lost my virginity at 14, because I was rushing to the point where I would be normal. Then I just stopped. There was nowhere else to go for me, and I haven't dated or had any sexual relationships since. Because I masturbated, I never thought I was anything but straight. I was just alone, but a few weeks ago I read an article and then more and more and I found something that made sense for me, and I just wanted to ask, if this is really somewhere I belong or if it's just a me thing? Thanks

 

Scorrar,

[south paw]

only you can discover who you are Scorrar. Luckily you found this site though so that you can fully explore all that there is!  I'm glad i found somewhere i belong and even if you may feel like you belong here or not, we fully welcome you!  

[Zacharie]

Whatever you are is ok. As long as you feel comfortable, connected and related to it. 

 

[Amber79]

No one is unwelcome here, so welcome and here's the ace equivalent of a hand shake; cake .

[Anthracite_Impreza]

You most certainly sound ace to me, but you're welcome here regardless.

[binary suns]

On 6/21/2017 at 10:42 PM, Scorrar said:

I've spent most of my life as an outsider, someone who people get along with but isn't on the invite list.

this is not a symptom of asexuality. if you want to get past this, it's a matter of trial and error, learning, attempting to find what it takes for you to feel "in" with others socially. 

 

On 6/21/2017 at 10:42 PM, Scorrar said:

if this is really somewhere I belong or if it's just a me thing? Thanks

I can't answer that for you. whether or not you belong is only a matter of whether or not you participate, and whether or not that participation matters to others. it really sucks when you're somewhere and don't see signs that you belong. I don't really have any good advice to that.

 

what I can say is - if you are unenergetic, apathetic, depressed, stressed, ansxious, or any other strong negative emotion - the solution is NOT to find some group on some forum that makes it all better. yes find places you belong - because those places are good social nets to feel safe within. but look for ways you can improve your life right now - diet? exercise? do you drink enough water? how is your sleep cycle- if you don't sleep the same time every day, or any of these other things aren't healthy enough - you'll notice it in your mood. you'll feel down too often. social contact does help to raise the mood - but so does wellness choices. do you have a hobby? get excited about that. find other people who are excited about it. and again, work on healthful habits. 

 

 

 

RE: the fact that this is asked on an asexuality site

are you asexual? that's your call to make at this point. look around you, ask questions, open up as much as you are comfortable in expressing. discover yourself and others, learn about asexuality. if you are asexual, after some time you'll feel confident that you are. until then you'll hesitate about it. if you aren't asexual, you'll see yourself drawn more and more away from the asexual label - own up to that  intuition, whichever way it points.