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Appleblossom

None sexual orgasms

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Appleblossom

I was just wondering, and this is the only place I'd discuss this, but, I enjoy an orgasm as a physical experience, but at the time, I have no sexual thoughts. In fact I might be thinking through an on line shopping list, or something just as none connected. Does anyone else experience this? 

 

And for for the record, I've had to fake it with my husband for many years, just to get things over with. I usually have better results on my own. That's when the shopping list can come into my mind. 🙂

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Puck

Moved from Relationships to The Sex Talk

 

Puck

Moderator, The Gray Area and The Sex Talk

Temp Moderator, Asexual Relationships

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Appleblossom

Thank you for moving it. Sorry I chose the wrong place.

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Puck
2 minutes ago, Appleblossom said:

Thank you for moving it. Sorry I chose the wrong place.

Not a problem at all, it can sometimes be unclear where a thread will live best. Mods are here to help and so try to move threads to where they will get the best answers :)

 

As for what you are talking about, I think that is a common experience amongst asexuals who choose to have sex for their partners. Because they don't have the desire to have it, they just kind of do it for their partner's pleasure. They may still get aroused and orgasm, but there is no attraction or innate want to participate.

 

Though, if you used to enjoy it and now see it that way, it could be other reasons you are feeling that way. Maybe you need to spice things up or something to get that passion back. Though, of course, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling and whatever it is is valid. I'm just not sure of your experience so wanted to throw both options out there.

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Appleblossom
14 minutes ago, Puck said:

Not a problem at all, it can sometimes be unclear where a thread will live best. Mods are here to help and so try to move threads to where they will get the best answers :)

 

As for what you are talking about, I think that is a common experience amongst asexuals who choose to have sex for their partners. Because they don't have the desire to have it, they just kind of do it for their partner's pleasure. They may still get aroused and orgasm, but there is no attraction or innate want to participate.

 

Though, if you used to enjoy it and now see it that way, it could be other reasons you are feeling that way. Maybe you need to spice things up or something to get that passion back. Though, of course, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling and whatever it is is valid. I'm just not sure of your experience so wanted to throw both options out there.

 

Edited by Appleblossom
Sorry, this was an accidental quote. I'm yet to get familiar with these forums,

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Appleblossom

No, I never enjoyed the physical side of our relationship. I was only 19 when we married, I knew little about various sexualities, in fact I didn't even know about orgasms till I was 18 and already dating my husband to be. I was ill with glandular fever and my mum accidentally bought me a magazine that was rather explicit, I experimented and discovered orgasms. Then when well we played at mutual  masterbation and eventually married, as I became comfortable with him. 

 

We we have now reverted back to that, which makes me happy, but I seem to be less sensitive than when I was younger so I fake it, and move on. Just to keep him happy.

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Feyral

From what I have determined for myself, masturbation is completely separate from any sexual feelings. The only correlation is the possible outcome of an orgasm. I am not even sure how to describe it any further because it is such a hard line in my mind between the two.

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200 Ponies

I'm the same way most of the time. As an autochorissexual, sometimes sexual thoughts can help, but for the most part it ruins the "mood" for me, so to speak. Thinking of grocery lists or to-do lists always gets the job done!

 

As for orgasms having the potential to be completely non-sexual, I once accidentally had an orgasm riding my bike lol. Nothing sexual about that :D

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catscatscats

So I have had sexual thoughts in the past and I've had sex with my husband, but I've never ever had an orgasm. 

At least I think so. I've masturbated for a long time, albeit not frequently, and I just don't have orgasms. It can feel good down there, but then suddenly it feels like I've jumped from feeling good, building up to something, then suddenly it's no mas. And I never feel emotionally different, I just go "okay well that was an interesting use of time."

 

My husband knows I can't orgasm, and I make sure to remind him that it doesn't reflect anything on him or how I feel about him.

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Rawrth

By definition: "Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm."

Masturbation is still masturbation regardless of what thoughts are going through your mind as you do it. You could be thinking about flowers and it'll still be considered a sexual act. 
*This doesn't mean you're not asexual. It's just the definition I am trying to share. 

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Philip027

If you're consciously pursuing orgasm (or even just stimulation of the *sexual* organs), that is inherently the sexual thought.  It doesn't matter if you're not necessarily thinking of hot guys or smutty fanfics while you're doing it.

 

On 7/30/2017 at 5:28 AM, Rawrth said:

By definition: "Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm."

Masturbation is still masturbation regardless of what thoughts are going through your mind as you do it. You could be thinking about flowers and it'll still be considered a sexual act. 
*This doesn't mean you're not asexual. It's just the definition I am trying to share. 

So yeah, pretty much that.

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miettaisace
On 31/07/2017 at 1:28 AM, Rawrth said:

By definition: "Masturbation is the sexual stimulation of one's own genitals for sexual arousal or other sexual pleasure, usually to the point of orgasm."

Masturbation is still masturbation regardless of what thoughts are going through your mind as you do it. You could be thinking about flowers and it'll still be considered a sexual act. 
*This doesn't mean you're not asexual. It's just the definition I am trying to share. 

And that is why i say " i touched myself" cause that isnt sexual....im touching my stomach right now, im also touching my hair....it only implies that you felt some part of your body.

 

sexual or not let people cum without there sexuality changing LOL

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will123

Reading the topic title I thought the OP was thinking of achieving an orgasm without physically touching their genitals to produce stimulation and/or arousal.

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