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[Rhaenys]

Why can't ppl just mind their own business and stop projecting their happy relationship, 30+ years together or whatever on others. It's not affecting anyone who claims to be "happy." 

Also telling ppl to love themselves and make themselves happy before they love someone else isn't bad advice. Trust me it's not nice being blamed for your partner's downfall.

 

I am emotionally independent because I went through hell as a child and as a teenager. I had no support for my grieviances from those close to me and who were supposed to love me. I had to fight an uphill to get that independence. Some may see it as a threat, some may not like the idea but to me having that independence is a reminder of how far I've come with no family, no friends(my severe anhedonia made have no interest in friends back then.) and no relationship. It's a sign of my own strength. I will not be ashamed of it.

 

 

 

 

[NoLongerActive1234]

On 6/28/2017 at 8:23 PM, Jade Cross said:

The previous question still remains. If there really are so many positive/healthy relationships out there, why are those not the ones constantly talked about? It would seem much more convincing to me to hear about something that actually works over something that isnt or doesnt.

 

In fact (this part is all people) many who listen to anyone talk about how wonderful their relationship is, immediately brand that person a phony because it just appears to be seeking validation. So its a bit of an odd reaction to say the least, considering how much they pester about the importance of relationships.

 

Also, when talking about relationships in general, people dont tend to talk about the ups and downs. That part is usually reserved for when theres trouble. Instead the go-to reaction is again the perfection that relationships are supposed to be. So it would seem that right from the get go, people are already setting themselves up for frustration upon realizing that the thing they claim is absolute, isnt really as absolute as they claim. Which again makes the fact that they pester anyone who isnt participating in it, to be hypocritical at the very least.

 

 

 

One thing is that it is human nature I'd say, people tend to bring up and talk of the negatives because with the positives you simply live it. It's like how the news mostly contain dramatic and horrible stories. It creates sensations and a reason to improve things which is often a drive and theme in today's modern word. To strive for perfection and finding solutions to problems whether it be regarding relationships or otherwise. I don't think that is so uncommon that what prompts for discussion is often the negative aspects for looking to fix something. I suppose happiness is more boring as well? lol. Another factor is the way people have a tendency to exaggerate or be clouded by emotions, especially when they are emotional. So when someone might vent about their partner it may actually not be as bad as it sounds. I certainly have been guilty of that myself sometimes. That's feelings for you, they aren't always so logical or well put together. 
It's individual as well what you get from talking about your relationship. Some people might in fact not talk of it much at all, there may not be much to gain from it for them personally and how would you then know if they are content or not? There is no reason for anyone to bring it to anyone else's attention then. Considering how many human beings live on this earth and the fact that all information about people in relationship is bound to not reach you it is very hard to imagine that there are no people in happy relationships. To me it is a logical conclusion by default to think that yes there certainly must be even if you'd happened to mostly hear the worst of the worst. 

Yeah it's quite hypocritical to say that people should be seeking out relationship but then when they talk about it accuse them of being phony. It makes no sense whatsoever to state that others should be in relationships when they can't even manage their own. It makes it extra ridiculous even if I don't think that anyone else has anything to do with how one decides to live. It's definitely a pet peeve of mine for when people are being hypocritical and won't back off telling others how to be or live (if that hasn't been evident by my posts here for example hehe). With some people it is like whatever you do they will never be satisfied. They just need to realize that it is not their lives (they can naturally do whatever they like with their own) and they don't have much say in what other people do with theirs. 

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[NoLongerActive1234]

I think news do that also partly because of reporting happenings that need to be brought up to hopefully be improved. When something is not right that has a tendency to prompt for discussion moreso than if all is as it should (unfortunately). 

I don't mean that happiness is boring....I mean that it could be boring to talk about. I dont't think anyone wishes to not be truly happy (whatever that means to them). You just live it when you are content. When there is an issue you are inspirerd to talk about it to adjust it and to try to make it better. 

There is no wrong or right about this, in fact there are very few things that one can put into the category of always being wrong or always being right for each and every person. It is too situational and individual to be able to say that. I wish that would become an obvious thing so that people shouldn't have to hear others nag and nag about what not to do and not have to feel a need to defend their life choices. 

[Lord Jade Cross]

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[joeymac]

Emotional Independence taken to an extreme (extreme being far outside the norm)  hurts others that genuinely care for the Emotionally Independent . Exercising one's Rights at the cost of another's wellbeing is generally considered "not nice" and therefore carries a negative connotation. That said I don't believe that were speaking about a condition which is easily , if at all controllable , and therefore I hold myself accountable to be gracious with those that chose to exercise their Right regardless of the consequences , hoping that there is no malicious intent. 

[Curlz]

I think a lot of people feel like they need to have a romantic partner so they have someone they can rely on. I'm pretty emotionally independent, and I've always found the support and love I needed from my friends, but I suppose some people always need a romantic partner around for them to feel loved and supported. And as for all of the pushing of romantic partners in society, I think it's the same thing as with sex- EVERYONE wants sex/a partner, and if you don't, you're weird/wrong/(insert various excuse here). But I don't think there's anything wrong with not having a romantic partner in your life. Honestly, I've questioned if I'll ever have a life-long romantic partner, because I see myself for the most part being happier without one(obviously this might change in the future), but I do always want to be surrounded by my supportive family and friends.