arden_jay Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I've recently been thinking more and more about how I could possibly be genderqueer. About four or five years ago I gave myself a nickname and told everyone to call me by that name rather than my full name because for some reason I didn't like my real name anymore. I don't know if that was because it's quite feminine or because I just wanted a change, but I'm starting to think that maybe that was the beginning of a lot of the questions I have now. I was a kid who swayed between feminine horse-girl type and complete tomboy, and several years after puberty ended I started hating the fact that I had breasts and wore bras and could no longer shop in the boys' section for my clothes because my body shape wouldn't allow it. I also gained a strong belief that makeup and clothes were gender-neutral and I should be able to shop in whatever section I pleased. I pushed the issues aside for a while because of tertiary study and the time it took up, but now that I am mostly at home with a lot of time to think, the questions have started resurfacing. I'm fine with mostly feminine pronouns and have only wished to be a boy a few times in my childhood (mostly for unfairness reasons due to childish sexism on playgrounds and suchlike), but I don't feel like I am fully female anymore and am wondering if anyone has gone through something similar. Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I struggled allot with trying to be what I was 'supposed' to be, because I wasn't male enough to be the 'opposite' gender and therefore 'couldn't' be trans. Turns out I identify as Agender. Maybe you could research some non-binary genders, watch youtube videos of those people and their experiences, etc and see if anything clicks? It's fine if it doesn't, every one of us human beans are different Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 I'd definitely something similar, if though rather milder. I don't have any real terms feelings towards my name at all, though I've felt feeling more feminine, not too much of a clothing change but having that first time chance to cross-dress, was an experience as to what my gender currently stands as. I've had a few thoughts and ideas, was at one point either desiring either, both or no sets of genitals, currently ambivalent to what I have. Otherwise have a body of a more feminine male having lost weight and limiting muscle mass. I'm or was Agendered until a change or realization being more connected to female clothing rather that currently male clothing. I'm rather fluid gendered if although a mild swing from the agender middle. The social gender sub-culture around femboyism is also rather fascinating currently. Link to post Share on other sites
arden_jay Posted June 21, 2017 Author Share Posted June 21, 2017 16 hours ago, SamwiseLovesLife said: I struggled allot with trying to be what I was 'supposed' to be, because I wasn't male enough to be the 'opposite' gender and therefore 'couldn't' be trans. Turns out I identify as Agender. Maybe you could research some non-binary genders, watch youtube videos of those people and their experiences, etc and see if anything clicks? It's fine if it doesn't, every one of us human beans are different Thank you for suggesting this! I'm not too familiar with all the aspects of the non-binary spectrum, so it's quite possible that I'm somewhere on that line. Link to post Share on other sites
arden_jay Posted June 23, 2017 Author Share Posted June 23, 2017 I think I may identify the most with the demigirl identity because I'm still mostly happy with female pronouns, but the fact that I would really like to have an androgynous body has me a little confused. Is it possible to be both, and if so, what is my next step? Link to post Share on other sites
ChickenPadSeeEew Posted June 25, 2017 Share Posted June 25, 2017 On 2017-6-23 at 6:15 PM, Sergeant_Turtle said: I think I may identify the most with the demigirl identity because I'm still mostly happy with female pronouns, but the fact that I would really like to have an androgynous body has me a little confused. Is it possible to be both, and if so, what is my next step? Your next step is completely up to you. But it could be any of these: 1. Do nothing. 2. Keep a gender diary. This is pretty cool for noting how you feel each day and looking back at the evidence, patterns, etc. 3. Read stories / posts by demigirls (or similar). See if their experiences ring true. 4. Consider seeing a gender therapist. (Not because there's anything wrong with you, because there isn't! They just might help you figure out your identity, though, and help you decide what to do about it and gain confidence in your decisions). 5. Adopt an identity, if it feels right. If it doesn't fit, bin it, and keep searching. If it does, hooray. 😊 6. Think about how you'd like to be referred to (and by whom), how you'd like to present yourself or (in my case) what you like to wear/do your hair for you (I don't care what others think; I just present as me). 7. Think about coming out. You don't have to. You never have to. Or you can come out to some, or all, and in a slow or scattered fashion or boom, all at once. There are no rules. It's all up to you. 8. You could investigate gender affirming treatments. Some people seeking a more androgynous body/features use hormone therapy in low doses and watch and see what changes, and stop if/when they're happy or not wanting the changes to go further. For example, they might want a lower voice and not much else. Have I forgotten anything? Probably. 😄 Link to post Share on other sites
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