Nea Rose Symphony Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 So yesterday/today I got the idea to draw a picture and some words meant for my soulmate, someone who'll never leave my side and makes that fact known over time. Someone I love and trust completely. Someone who, after a few years of being serious with, never will once make me wonder about our future. Once I meet and get to know someone like that, they'd be the only one who'll see the picture besides me. I'll give it as a gift of my love and trust. Well I was working this evening and my mind started wandering. The idea of traditional minded allosexuals saving first time sex until they meet their soulmate sounds a lot like what I'm doing with this picture. Nobody will see it until I deem the one person worthy. Only this one person will see it and nobody else ever will. This gift I may give someday symbolizes my love and trust just as sex may symbolize that to traditional minded allos. I like to think this is my asexual version of sex. Because I don't get the big deal over it, this is a different way I can share something intimate with the one who deserves it, the one person I love most and who loves me just the same. Is this normal? Anybody else doing something similar? Or am I just... odd? Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 That's sweet not odd Link to post Share on other sites
NoLongerActive1234 Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 That is so sweet! I don't see why it wouldn't be normal...what's "normal" anyhow. People who exchange couple rings probably think something similar. Everyone has their own rituals and ways of applying meaning. Your future partner is going to be so happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Riddley Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 28 minutes ago, Cetasoul said: So yesterday/today I got the idea to draw a picture and some words meant for my soulmate, someone who'll never leave my side and makes that fact known over time. Someone I love and trust completely. Someone who, after a few years of being serious with, never will once make me wonder about our future. Once I meet and get to know someone like that, they'd be the only one who'll see the picture besides me. I'll give it as a gift of my love and trust. Well I was working this evening and my mind started wandering. The idea of traditional minded allosexuals saving first time sex until they meet their soulmate sounds a lot like what I'm doing with this picture. Nobody will see it until I deem the one person worthy. Only this one person will see it and nobody else ever will. This gift I may give someday symbolizes my love and trust just as sex may symbolize that to traditional minded allos. I like to think this is my asexual version of sex. Because I don't get the big deal over it, this is a different way I can share something intimate with the one who deserves it, the one person I love most and who loves me just the same. Is this normal? Anybody else doing something similar? Or am I just... odd? you ain't odd...it's really a very sweet thing to do for someone whom you can trust with closed eyes..so go ahead!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 That sound so sweet of you Link to post Share on other sites
TheCatBehind Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Omggggggggggggggggg! This is so lovely! It is not odd at all! Really! I never had in mind to give anything super special to my, well, soulmate, if you will. The only thing I ever thought about was that they will really be the person who knows me best, almost everything. So I guess my version of your picture is me sharing my problems, affection, trust, and everything that goes with it... Guess it's not much a gift as much as it is a foundation that I want my future relationship to be built on... hm. Maybe I should think about something of the sorts :D Sounds like an amazing idea tbh... I might borrow it :3 Link to post Share on other sites
LightsShineBright Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 Wow, that's such a beautiful way of expressing love and trust. Totally amazing. Definitely not odd. One of the sweetest thing I read Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 If I get into a romantic relationship, I'd like the idea of there being something done between me and her that we wouldn't do with anyone else, something that symbolizes that bond. What it is in particular will depend on whomever I end up with, so right now I don't know what that thing is. It could be kissing, it could be affection, trust, it could be something else... the picture that symbolizes trust is one such example I think. Link to post Share on other sites
TheCatBehind Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 (Can I just say this post and all the replies are restoring all my faith? Like, humans are amazing? My cotton candy-fluff heart is actually crying?! I love it?! I need more? ❤️ Keep on being amazing people! ❤️❤️❤️) Link to post Share on other sites
BlackRobyn Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 That's a wonderful Idea. Helps to ground you in your goals and reminds you of what you believe. There's nothing wrong with personal creation. New Traditions! Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 That is extremely sweet, and adorable, and ohmygod my heart can't take it!!! I love that idea! I do something that is somewhat similar, but it's more of a physical and verbal thing. I have an extremely hard time showing gratitude, love, and affection. Some have even said that I am as cold and solid as a rock. For some reason, I just can't get past showing my feelings, and can barely even force myself to show those feelings. If my subconscious doesn't feel that the person I'm with is the "right one", I just shut down, distance myself, and barely say or do anything romantic without noticing. I just automatically start treating them like how I would with a friend. However, if the person I'm with is seen as the right one, I'm very adamant on being romantically involved with them, and treat them as my partner. However, My relationships have mainly been long distance (which I do like), and being with that right person has only happened once. I mainly just see having really deep conversations and doing fun and casual things with the person, as me being romantic. Although, what I do with them will always depend on who the person is, so it's hard to list things right now. Though I will say, I hate going to the theater with anybody, but if my partner wants to see a movie, I'd jumped to the chance in an instant. So in a humorous way of explaining it, I guess I'm just like those really stiff and quiet character archetypes that only display their softer side to one specific person lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted June 19, 2017 Author Share Posted June 19, 2017 7 hours ago, Someone Else said: If I get into a romantic relationship, I'd like the idea of there being something done between me and her that we wouldn't do with anyone else, something that symbolizes that bond. What it is in particular will depend on whomever I end up with, so right now I don't know what that thing is. It could be kissing, it could be affection, trust, it could be something else... the picture that symbolizes trust is one such example I think. I mean, anybody can kiss, and date, and have sex, have trust, affection, etc. Those are key in romantic relationships (well, kissing and dating and sex are optional depending on the type of relationship). But this would be a sign of everything. To show that I do trust and love the person to give such a personal thing to Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted June 19, 2017 Author Share Posted June 19, 2017 4 hours ago, Peinture Paix said: That is extremely sweet, and adorable, and ohmygod my heart can't take it!!! I love that idea! I do something that is somewhat similar, but it's more of a physical and verbal thing. I have an extremely hard time showing gratitude, love, and affection. Some have even said that I am as cold and solid as a rock. For some reason, I just can't get past showing my feelings, and can barely even force myself to show those feelings. If my subconscious doesn't feel that the person I'm with is the "right one", I just shut down, distance myself, and barely say or do anything romantic without noticing. I just automatically start treating them like how I would with a friend. However, if the person I'm with is seen as the right one, I'm very adamant on being romantically involved with them, and treat them as my partner. However, My relationships have mainly been long distance (which I do like), and being with that right person has only happened once. I mainly just see having really deep conversations and doing fun and casual things with the person, as me being romantic. Although, what I do with them will always depend on who the person is, so it's hard to list things right now. Though I will say, I hate going to the theater with anybody, but if my partner wants to see a movie, I'd jumped to the chance in an instant. So in a humorous way of explaining it, I guess I'm just like those really stiff and quiet character archetypes that only display their softer side to one specific person lol. Same. Totally same. Indifferent to everyone except that one odd one in the entire group. Then that person can't get rid of you if they allow such a bond to grow Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 8 minutes ago, Cetasoul said: Same. Totally same. Indifferent to everyone except that one odd one in the entire group. Then that person can't get rid of you if they allow such a bond to grow Exactly!! We're like a piece of tape that refuses to let go of itself once folded. Once that happens there's just no way of going back lmao. Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted June 19, 2017 Author Share Posted June 19, 2017 22 minutes ago, Peinture Paix said: Exactly!! We're like a piece of tape that refuses to let go of itself once folded. Once that happens there's just no way of going back lmao. And it's super painful if it's an ex who doesn't want you back. Unsure if you can have it with anyone else, desperately wanting the ex's love again Link to post Share on other sites
Silk Bones Posted June 19, 2017 Share Posted June 19, 2017 1 minute ago, Cetasoul said: And it's super painful if it's an ex who doesn't want you back. Unsure if you can have it with anyone else, desperately wanting the ex's love again Aw, yeah.. That's always one of the worst parts. Though when it comes to moments like that, it's good to always remember that everyone has someone special to hold dear in their hearts, whether they are platonic or romantic. Life goes on, and so do people, but who we have an unquestionable trust towards always sticks around. Link to post Share on other sites
Nea Rose Symphony Posted June 19, 2017 Author Share Posted June 19, 2017 Sex is vulnerability. But what if, instead of physical vulnerability it's emotional vulnerability? Giving a piece of me to someone I feel will never abuse that? I have had sex and it didn't feel like giving my everything to the now former partner ever. Instead I did that through ultimate trust and love that came out through romantic intimacy, taking him back after he cheated, and even saving his life at a bit of a cost to myself. I'd never do all this unless someone was particularly special to me Link to post Share on other sites
Someone Else Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 7 hours ago, MaybeIBelongSomewhere said: To me it's possible that such a equivalent exists- to some giving their body to someone else is the ultimate form of love..... But in a way for me my ultimate form of love comes in as mental/emotional openness like I share with no one else in this world..... So to some love is physical, to me My purest love is purely mental... & I imagine the ecstasy some get from the physical is the same intense feeling I will get when I find someone I want to share my soul with.... Love to me is not actions that fall under romantic vs aromantic..... It's trust, loyalty, honesty that transcends... Its like emotionally f&@@$&g or something lol But it's very possible this is me being too sappy and I'm over-reaching lol.... *embarrassed...... Tries to pull a stealthy ninja-like exit 😷😅* If I have any kind of "replacement" for sex as an asexual, it'd be like that. I could have written that myself. It's why i don't fit entirely into either romantic or aromantic, because I'm on an entirely different system, it's not about romantic actions and words, it's about the bond. Link to post Share on other sites
Mermaidy Posted June 20, 2017 Share Posted June 20, 2017 On 19.6.2017 at 4:17 PM, MaybeIBelongSomewhere said: To me it's possible that such a equivalent exists- to some giving their body to someone else is the ultimate form of love..... But in a way for me my ultimate form of love comes in as mental/emotional openness like I share with no one else in this world..... since you agree that only "some" consider sex "the ultimate form of love," sex isn't necessarily the "ultimate form of love." all this is then is what an asexual's "ultimate form of love is" - which varies from person to person and isn't necessarily tied to asexuality as a sexual orientation. and an "ultimate form of love" isn't necessarily tied to someone's sexual orientation Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. PC Posted December 9, 2017 Share Posted December 9, 2017 Sex is a construct Spoiler everything pretty much is a construct In some countries, gay-sex isn't considered sex, only acts that could result in reproduction are considered sex by some. I once gave myself an orgasm purely through meditation (now you all know I'm a weirdo). When I jam with my band, we bond in a way I imagine being similar to the way people bond during sex. Sometimes I'm lonely and I unthinkingly start to hug myself... is that a-affection? Whatever it is, and whatever anything is, they are what they is, and naming it doesn't change it's isness. So if you want to call your drawing sex, and grouping it into the construct 'sex' makes sense to you, great. Before having any serious discussion, make sure to define your terms, otherwise you'll go in logical circles (as the majority of people do the majority of the time). Link to post Share on other sites
Adventurefreak Posted December 17, 2017 Share Posted December 17, 2017 I believe its an awesome concept, not odd at all Life isn't about rushing over Link to post Share on other sites
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