Might sound weird, but should I try?

[Greekgeek1213]

Hi! So, this might sound weird, but recently I've been wondering if I should even try with the sexual world and actions.

 

I was talking to someone about our orientations, both sexual and romantic, and we happened upon the subject of sex drive/libido. And ever since then, I've been wondering "Should I even try masturbating and whatnot?". I've never wanted to nor had the urge to, but people keep saying I'll never know until I try. But the thing is, it just doesn't look pleasing at all. I don't know if it's because I'm asexual and I don't want to be in the 'asexual but has libido' boat, or if it's because of a mental disorder/phobia, or if it really is just normal, but when I think of doing that stuff it truly grosses me out. It makes my skin crawl and doesn't come close to any kind of potential pleasure. But do other people feel the same way before their first try? Should I try and find out and just force myself to do something to myself that grosses me out so bad that I want to cry just thinking about it? Especially since I'm going to be 18 very soon, and I would think that if I should try it, it's about time to do so.

[Scott1989]

3 minutes ago, Greekgeek1213 said:

Hi! So, this might sound weird, but recently I've been wondering if I should even try with the sexual world and actions.

 

I was talking to someone about our orientations, both sexual and romantic, and we happened upon the subject of sex drive/libido. And ever since then, I've been wondering "Should I even try masturbating and whatnot?". I've never wanted to nor had the urge to, but people keep saying I'll never know until I try. But the thing is, it just doesn't look pleasing at all. I don't know if it's because I'm asexual and I don't want to be in the 'asexual but has libido' boat, or if it's because of a mental disorder/phobia, or if it really is just normal, but when I think of doing that stuff it truly grosses me out. It makes my skin crawl and doesn't come close to any kind of potential pleasure. But do other people feel the same way before their first try? Should I try and find out and just force myself to do something to myself that grosses me out so bad that I want to cry just thinking about it? Especially since I'm going to be 18 very soon, and I would think that if I should try it, it's about time to do so.

I'd say try it if you want to, but based on what I put on bold in the above quote, it sounds like you don't want to, so I'd say no don't try it.

 

I'd say just ask yourself "Do I really want to do it" and until your answer is genuinely yes, and it's not due to peer pressure, don't. That will suit for any situation.

[swirl_of_blue]

You don't have to try it if you don't want to! And if you are not comfortable, you probably won't be able to enjoy it at all so there's no point in trying, really. I myself had absolutely zero libido and never masturbated until around 19 or 20. Then something suddenly changed, and now my libido is ridiculously high. So it can still change at your age! But just as well nothing may change, whether you try to do something about it or not. But I don't think it's a good idea to force yourself to do anything just for the sake of the act itself.

[Homer]

There's no point in forcing yourself to try anything. From what I gathered during several discussions with various people, sexual stuff is mostly about pleasure and relaxing. It won't "work" if you push through like you would with a task at work or in school.

 

Instead, think of it like hunger or thirst. You'll notice when there's something you need to take care of, but there's no reason to make yourself drink a gallon of water just because people say that it'll be helpful.

 

I'd say keep cool about it. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen - or not. It's totally fine either way, whatever you're comfortable with is the right thing to do.

[Lord Jade Cross]

^All of this.

[darkstreamers252]

You certainly don't have to if you don't want to especially if you are going to have to force yourself and you have that kind of reaction to it.

[Guest]

@Greekgeek1213 I think something like that is really personal and no one should be asking you about it or telling you to try it. For anyone who already knows, if they ask you about it again, just say you're not interested and leave it at that. You don't have to explain that to anyone. They are crossing a boundary by asking. For anyone who asks in the future, you could just stay silent for a bit and hopefully they will feel awkward about asking you such an invasive question and apologize. If not, change the subject after a long stretch of silence.

 

It is up to you whether you decide to do that or not, but it doesn't sound like you want to. Don't let other people pressure you into living your life the way they say you should live it. Otherwise you might never draw a line and you could wind up doing a lot of things you don't agree with.

[Puck]

You never have to do anything you don't want to. It sounds like you don't want to, so don't do it! If you later find you do want to, then do it!

 

Masturbation can be a healthy thing for people to do, both mentally and physically. But it's not something a person needs to do. I agree with Homer in that, if you approach it with a disgusted attitude, you will likely find you don't like it because it's about pleasure, so right now there might not be much point in trying.

 

Just tell you're friends you aren't interested. You are fine just doing what you want to do when you want to do it

[Greekgeek1213]

Thank you all so much! With me thinking about it for such a long time it gives me a sense of relief to hear your kind words of advice, as I knew I would from such knowledgeable people