Jump to content

What would you say I am?


Ellexa

Recommended Posts

Hi,
I just joined the group and really my head i just spinning with all the new information and ideas and all that stuff.

I guess it's just easier if i say how my mind works huh ? Well in some ways i'm like any other 20 somethin' yo, if i see someone who is nice looking to me I don't shy away from expressing that. You good lookin' = you good lookin' and I can appreciate that in a very "dry" manner. But that's also kinda where it stops for me. I like the way you look, the end. 
I can get nervous when people touch me especially when i'm into them but it's more of a "aah idk what to do" kinda nervous rather than a sexual thing. I never had any interest in anything sex related. This going from porn or the intercourse itself it all kinda makes me very uncomfortable, I'm a female gamer and often get people send me unsolicited stuff and i usually don't know how quickly to scroll past it or get it of my screen because of how squaky it makes me or it's just like "well alrighty then, thanks for that.." 
The whole masterbation stuff also kinda has me, eeh weirded out, but i can have "nice senses" down there ? Ooh god i have no idea how to explain but yeah no want to touch myself or anything. Again it's all kinda "eeeh" but it's not like i can't appreciate it. (I really hope someone can make sense of this)

But i do feel attracted to people and i like being close with people. If me, 5months ago was on this forum i would've said only boys, but I had a very good female friend with who I shared a bed (in a complete platonic way) and that made me realize, I kinda liked that too. I just liked being next too someone, who clearly wanted me there. It's hard to say what I would've done if it went any further than cuddling in a bed and whether i would've like that because it's really hard for me to think about thinks like that, but i think her gender wouldn't change anything. I guess i just like cuddling no matter who.

But this all made me wonder, what I identify with most, when I read the gray-romantic sentence "Experience romantic attraction, but not desire romantic relationships." my first thought was "omg yes" but than i started doubting, like yeah but what if? And what to define as a romantic relationship? Just hugs and hanging out lots and stuff, cause than no i would be up for that, but intercourse? That so far is a total no. But who knows, maybe one day i'll meet "that one" that i do want it with.. So really i'm just confused and my head is reeling with all the "what if's"

Hopefully someone who has more of an outside view could help me shine some light on my situation ?

Link to post
Share on other sites
Lana Overland

I would say just to breathe and keep reading. You don't have to figure everything out over night and you don't even have to figure everything out. I've been out as asexual for about two years now and I still don't know what my romantic orientation is. I think you might benefit from looking up the different types of attraction, some of them can be a little vague because people tend to define them in different ways, but the major ones are sexual, romantic, platonic, sensual, aesthetic attraction. You might want to nail down what each of these attractions feels like for you (and that you lack) and then go from there.

 

Also with the "what ifs" I would point out that future hypothetical you is different than present you. Maybe you'll experience that kind of attraction maybe you won't, but your orientation should describe what you're feeling right now and who you are attracted to right now. It's a description and communicator not a definition of all your attractions forever. It's okay if it changes later on or if there are exceptions (which is what the gray spectrum is there for: ace but with exceptions to that). 

 

So good luck, welcome to AVEN. :cake:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...