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      Avenues May/June   05/09/17

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Amathy

What you say when asked why you are still single?

49 posts in this topic

I just tell them I don't have time because of my horses. It's 100% true btw!

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I just tell the truth. I'm tired of lying. it's so much work to do so. But I just say I don't want to be in a relationship ever.

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I usually say right now I'm focusing on me and I'm not interested in online dating anymore. Then it turns into a b!tch session about tinder and OKC, haha. No one IRL knows I'm a grey ace and I think I'm going to keep it that way until I know 100% for sure that's where I'm at.

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On 2017-6-14 at 9:02 PM, daveb said:

Usually I have said "I haven't found the right person". Although I don't get asked the question much and it's been a while since the last time anyone asked. Maybe that's because I am older?

That happens to me too, as older I get, people become a little more considerate with this, as it's not polite to ask a single women of a certain age why is she not married, normally people (where I'm from) have a set of reasons they assume is why: (a) the person is too ugly, (b) the person is ugly on the inside, (c) the person is not normal or sick -mentally or physically-, (d) the person is some's lover therefore cannot marry, (e) the person is gay and is having an in "closet, secret life", (f) the person had a very sad family and love story that truncated their possibilities to have a "precious marital life", g) the person is divorced. 

 

So basically, I say nothing by now, when they asked me before I said I was busy and people used to think I was doing important things hahaha, some would not believe and assume one of the reasons I already mentioned. :ph34r:

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I say nobody is interesting enough or that I have no time for it or that there is no people that have made me feel the so called in love feelings, so I don't want to be in a relationship. My studies are more important and such. With most people they accept it and don't say anything more to pressure, but some start to ask if I don't like men, do I want a women and such and then I say again the same thing. And they end the conversation saying, "You are just not interested, because if you really wanted you would find time for it." and I'm like thank you for finally understanding what I tried to say since the beginning of this conversation, now let me leave. *smile to them, wave and leave*

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"I don't have the patience for it" is my usual answer. Most people don't ask me that question, though. Maybe it's because I tend to give off an "I don't like to talk about relationship stuff" vibe, according to my friend. Most people prefer to just assume things, which I don't like very much, to say the least. I don't understand why people spend so much time thinking about other people's motivations. I mean, I'm unemployed and yet I don't waste my time thinking about it. Watching all nine seasons of Seinfeld is a much more enjoyable and useful way to spend your time. :P

 

What seems to bother people the most is why I'm not dating/hooking up with anyone. So far, the fact that I've never been in a relationship is not as weird as the fact that I'm not looking for one (well, not so actively, at least), but it will probably change as I get older.

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I think it's easier to say "just don't want to get into a relationship / not interested /aromantic as you get older. In the teens through thirties people still come up with" you haven't met the right person "" I've a tool that will fix you:P", and similar, but by the forties most people who've known you for a while will have probably worked out" not interested ". 

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Another response I used to give was, "I haven't found anyone who will put up with me." For some reason that was never really questioned... :P

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"I don't talk to a lot of people in general [oh, the joys of social anxiety :mellow:] so how could I date someone without talking to them first?"

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I met a man several years ago who was a friend of a friend.  He asked me WITH A SMILE if I was married and I said, "No".  The subject was dropped. 

 

Then next time he saw me, he asked me WITHOUT A SMILE, but with what appeared to be curiosity, "How come you're not married?".  I just rolled my eyes and mumbled something about 'not going down that road again'.  Again, the subject was dropped.

 

The third and FINAL time he saw me, he asked me AGAIN, "Why aren't you married?"  But, he was actually ANGRY!  I fired back at him with my own degree of anger that matched his own, "Why do I HAVE to be married?  Not that it's any of your business, but if you MUST know, the reason I'm not married is because I DON'T WANT TO BE MARRIED!" 

 

He sheepishly backed waaaaaaaay off.  'Nuf sed. 

 

Oh, the joys of being older!  You no longer put up with anyone's CRAP.  :lol:

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Being nearly 40, I have been asked this question many times. I usually just say something like, "because I'm perfectly happy with my life the way it is".

 

I do find the question a little irritating at times, because I've been asked it so often.

 

However, one thing I have noticed as I've reached my late 30s (and moved countries and met new people), is that I seem to be asked this question less often.

 

Rather, people tend to ask whether I have kids. I think at my age, people are tending to assume I'm divorced rather than still single.

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"One, two, unbuckle my shoe,

Three, four, close the door,

Five, six. put down sticks,

Seven, eight, LEVITATE! [said with undue emphasis in much too loud a voice]

Nine, ten, nuclear war,

Eleven, twelve [pause...] BANG!"

 

Then I wink at them and leave. :lol:

 

 

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One of these days, I am seriously just going to throw the cat right into the middle of the pigeons and say: 

 

"Because I'm asexual".

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I usually just say that I'm happy not being in a relationship. Which is true.

 

All the details about my orientation affecting my reasons for not wanting a romantic and/or sexual relationship, I feel are a beside the point.

 

I really am happy not being in a relationship. If I meet "my person" and enter a QPR, that would be great, but I'm still happy regardless.

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I get the question quite often, but my usual go to is: "I'm just not looking"

 

Every now and then, I'll still get people trying to set me up with others.

 

I just stand my ground on the "not looking" part.

 

I sometimes get very pushy rebuttals:

 

"I don't get you. You're very handsome--girls find you attractive. You will brush away the hottest women. They find you hilarious, you're easy to talk to..."

 

I'll usually be a little more honest with such people.

 

"I've tried dating. Its not for me. Most girls I've dated, wanted sex within a couple dates. I'm not wired this way." *confused look from the person, not understanding where the problem is*

 

"Look. I have my own place, my own car--I've traveled in relationships, and prefer traveling alone. I just prefer being alone. I have female friends, but keep things very platonic as its where I'm comfortable."

 

I say this, already knowing I'll be labeled as gay, but I've also accepted that part.

 

I mean, many try to find habits of mine which cement this. I.E I have a nice car (but its not a muscle car or a beefy car that reeks of manliness), that's always clean inside, and smells nice (just like my home--I love a car that smells nice all the time--I thought that was just cleanliness O_O). Apparently, this is room for homosexuality.

 

I'll still tell people why, but I do so in being okay with their judgment, and not budging under their pressure.

 

 

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Why are you still single?

im a strong interdependent woman who don't need no man

 

or failing that, is just say i honestly don't give a shit

 

 

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In my mind I say "you're still asking that question?"  Most often I'll just shrug.  Sometimes I'll say "don't know."

 

Luckily I don't get asked it as much anymore.

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I usually say "I'm an amoeba that don't need no man" if I'm feeling funny/sarcastic or I say something along the lines of 'can't be bothered' 

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On 6/12/2017 at 10:53 PM, BlackRose1990 said:

It depends on the situation and person. Usually I just say I am busy with work and hobbies.

0ec17c394a72467b826e4d3e0e794786--always-hungry-status.jpg

In EMS or the medical field people use this excuse a lot.

 

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